Wednesday, 27 October 2004

Contraceptive Contraptions and Squirting Spoons

The past few days have been fun, mainly because I seem have been discussing a lot of grammatical bloopers and wrongly used words/phrases with various people. While the following examples were damn funny, they also made me extra careful with my work lately.

1) Spotted on the synopsis on the back of a pirated DVD for "The Jungle Book 2":

Jungle Book 2 is exactly like the original movie, without the originality and the charm

Don't you just love how pirate DVD makers just lift random reviews for their movie synopsis'?

2) Spotted in a press release for a new mayonnaise bottle

Now, the new mayonnaise squirt bottle is convenient to use. You can now squirt the Mayo on your food with having to do any scooping or spooning

I wonder if the writer even knows what 'spooning' means, or how to 'squirt' without spooning...

3) Spotted in a product promo about a lawnmower

Thanks to the rotation of the metal blade, the grass gets swept into the 35l plastic container affixed to the back of the machine. The contraception reminded me of a large ant with a big backside! As you move along, the grass fills up the bag. It is easily removed, emptied and fixed again for the next load. The bag is wonderful as you don't need to sweep the mess later.

I REALLY don't wanna know how the lawnmower is used as a contraceptive. The effects must be pretty permanent. And you don't even have to worry about the mess later!

The actual article was actually pretty harmless, but when read in a contraceptive context, the whole thing just became one innuendo after another - 'the risks are minimal', 'a big weekend affair in which the whole family would chip in', taking 'a lot of energy to push it around', and my favorite: 'is available at HomeFix and Jusco Homecentre'.

PS: At the advice of Jayeagle, I have installed the Haloscan comment thingy. Thanks dude!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Eyeris! DOn't you have a better commenting system than this?? You really should try Haloscan.

BTW, loved the bit about Frodo. Ehehe. ;) BTW, some pirated VCD blurbs are pretty good. Like my Bend it Like Beckham one. Can't remember what it was exactly, but I liked it. :) Maybe you should pass your findings to the MOE department.

~ Jayeagle