Sunday, 21 November 2004

How to Assemble a Bookcase: An Expert Opinion

a.ka. How to Screw Up while Assembling a Bookcase

1) Don't read the instruction manual. You can do this on your own! (After all, there ARE only thirty different pieces of wood)
2) Assemble the bookcase downstairs (Even though it's meant to go into the room on the second floor)
3) Don't bother measuring the bookcase to make sure it fits through the doorway.
4) Lose some screws
5) Fit the shelves the other way around
6) Use a normal flathead screwdriver on a Phillips screw
7) Don't bother checking that the backboard is fitted properly before banging in the nails
8) Conveniently forget to put in a piece and try to discover it only when you're halfway through hammering the nails (Act surprise)
9) Hammer the nails as enthusiastically as you can and try to bend them in half. Better yet, aim for your own finger
10) Always, ALWAYS, assemble it on your own, even if the bookcase weighs a ton, and is twice your height.

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