Thursday, 25 November 2004

The Wedding Album: Greatest Hits

I have attended so many weddings these past year and suffered through so many bad karaoke sessions that I figured it would be nice to list out the ideal album of songs NOT to play during your wedding. Here it is:

Disc 1: The Classic Wedding Album

  • Do you Really Want to Hurt Me, by the Culture Club - (As heard in the movie The Wedding Singer!)
  • It's All About the Money, by Meja - (Express your feelings for your rich husband!)
  • I'm Too Sexy, by Right Said Fred - (Anthem for the modest mind)
  • How Can I Tell Her, by Lobo - (For those special nights when words can't explain how you feel about your OTHER wife...)
  • Because I Got High, by Afroman - (The REAL reason you're getting married)
  • All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You, by Heart - (Get her/him in the mood early!)
  • Physical, by Olivia Newton-John - (While we're still on the subject...)
  • U Can't Touch This, by MC Hammer - (The ultimate anthem for family planning)
  • My Heart Will Go On (The South Park Mix), by Celine Dion (featuring the cast of South Park) - (features the classic lyric: "Ey Woman! Get back in the kitchen and make me some pie!")
  • Special Asian Bonus Track: Fen Shou Ba (Let's Break Up), by Zhang Zhen Yue

Disc 2: The Rock Wedding Album

  • Bitch and Creep, by Meredith Brooks & Radiohead - (Previously Unreleased Exclusive Duet/Medley!)
  • (I Hate) Everything About You, by Ugly Kid Joe - (For the couple who loves to fight)
  • Dude (Looks Like a Lady), by Aerosmith - (When you're not sure which is the bride and which is the groom...)
  • Why Don't You Get a Job, by The Offspring - (Ideal after-honeymoon easy listening!)
  • The Drugs Don't Work, The Verve - (Voted most popular song among marriage counsellor regulars)
  • Push, by matchbox twenty (nothing like a little taste of what's to come. All together now: I wanna push you around... I wanna take you for granted...)
  • (I Wanna Be) Your Underwear, by Bryan Adams - (Token crappy Bryan Adams song)
  • Nookie, by Limp Bizkit - (Say it loudly and proudly: I did it all for the nookie! The nookie!)

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