Friday, 29 April 2005

Jams, Taxes, and DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!

Being the last-minute creature that I am, I just HAD to wait until the second-last day before the deadline to file my income tax. And I'm still not sure I filed it right. Dammit.

Anyway, the jams and the time I took to find a parking space actually took me longer than the actual submitting of the form. The lines were fast-moving, lots of counters were open, and I'm pretty impressed with the LHDN for being able to cope with the the throng of last-minute creatures like yours truly.

Anyway, by the time I got back to the office, it was lunchtime, and not only did I find out that Minishorts had turned me into a Talking-Rotiboy-murdering coffee addict; I also got this message from a colleague, saying:

"Bu yau mo wo na li!"

Eh? That sounds a lot like "Don't touch me there!" in Mandarin. What did I do THIS time? I certainly didn't touch ANYBODY ANYWHERE!

Apparently, she was testing out the phrase that she got from this site: The Four Essential Travel Phrases, which is a rather useful site that reckons that there are four phrases that every traveller should know, no matter where they are in the world:
  • Where is my room?
  • Where is the beach?
  • Where is the bar?
  • Don't touch me there!
According to the site, the last phrase is of the utmost importance, particularly if you've already had answers to the first three.

On the site, you can learn the four phrases in over 310 languages plus 34 additional dialects, so you can make sure that people in Afghanistan can show you your room, and that people in Inner Mongolia won't touch you THERE (wherever 'there' is).

Personally, I found that whenever I go overseas, the first few phrases I seem to learn first always turn out to be swear words. I can currently swear in English, Malay, Mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkien, Ecuadorian Spanish, Mexican Spanish, Polish, German and Russian. Can't remember the Finnish ones though. Damn.

Besides the !#$%*&! words, the other phrases I've always found useful (besides the ones already noted above) were:
  • How do you get to ______?
  • Do you speak English?
  • No, I am NOT Japanese
  • I come from Malaysia.
  • No, I'm not MALAY.
  • Airport please! Fast! Fast!
  • Can I have a receipt?
  • What am I eating?
  • One coffee, no sugar, with milk
  • Please give me one beer, cold
  • How much?
  • Where is the toilet?
  • One more beer, please
  • I'm not drunk!
  • Where am I?
  • Take me outside, I need to puke
  • Can I touch you there?

No comments: