Wednesday, 27 April 2005

An Ode to Darth Vader

Continuing my current obsession with all things Star Wars right now, I present to you a tribute to the biggest and baddest MamaFlyer in the Galactic Empire, before Lucas turned him into 1) a silly brat who can't act and dreams of space angels; and 2) silly teenager who can't act, whines about sand and molests Senators' naked backs.

The Darth Vader we ALL know and love/loathe/wanna-be is the one who crushes the throats of incompetant sub-ordinates, sounds like he has permanent asthma, and has a weird duck-like triangle mouthplate thingy going on his helmet.

I apologise in advance for the horrible rhymes. :-)

Anyway, here we go:

An Ode to the Great Darth Vader

The great Darth Vader had a saber,
Which was a freaking big red bugger,
He kept it turned off around his waist,
So the batteries would not go to waste.

The great Darth Vader loved his saber,
Even more than killing Tusken Raiders.
He used it to kill Rebel scum,
And make mince meat of Obi-Wan.

The great Darth Vader liked his saber,
For when turned on it would not waver.
He flashed it around with no remorse,
And crushed some throats with a little Force.

The great Darth Vader drew his saber
To chop the head off a Jedi sucker
He lit his sword, which grew so long,
And chopped the Jedi's little dong

The great Darth Vader polished his saber
While waiting for the evil Emperor.
He rubbed and stroked it till it gleamed,
And greased it with a little Vaseline.

The great Darth Vader lost his saber,
While mooning a rebel X-Wing fighter.
He looked for it on Tatooine,
And found it in the Cantina latrine


Will add more as I get more. :-) Back to work now.

Ref: See also An Ode to Gandalf the Colourful

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