Friday, 13 May 2005

My name is 'Woof-woof Bow-wow Arf-arf'

My brother was telling me the other day that if he ever owned a dog, he'd call it 'Dog' just for the heck of it, and to irritate the heck out of everyone.

In a way, naming a dog 'Dog' is just so infuriatingly er... infuriating. But hey, come to think of it, I find it a lot more imaginative (in a very unimaginative way) than names like say... Spot, Rover, Rex or Timothy. A colleague of mine calls his dog Cookie. Another calls HER dog Wou-Wou. Between those two names, I'd take Wou-Wou anytime.

In fact, I think Timothy is a VERY unimaginative name for a dog. Enid Blyton must have been having writer's block when she came up with that name for the Famous Five's dog.

Garth Nix's Lirael and Abhorsen has a dog named, The Disreputable Dog. How cool is that? A dog that is disreputable. I didn't even know dogs were meant to be reputable. And what about tolkien's Roverandom eh? Now THAT's a doggy name that is original yet traditional at the same time. Another bookish dog name I like is Nighteyes, from Robin Hobb's Farseer books. Ok, so he's a WOLF, not a dog, but wolves are dogs too... in a way...

To tell the truth, I don't even like dogs very much. But as long as they stay in the movie or on the pages of a book, I'm fine. Just don't jump on me or bark at me.

Anyway, my brother's remark got me thinking about these other cool irritating names you can give a pet dog:

- 'Table': Imagine how annoying it would be when you shout your dog's name in public. (Example of use: "TABLE! COME HERE, TABLE!")

- 'Roadkill': Just hope he doesn't BECOME roadkill. (Example of use: "Roadkill! Get off the road!"

- 'Dinner': Calling your dog 'Dinner' would probably have the same effect as calling it 'Table', but will ALSO have the added effect of making people check their watches to see if it really IS dinnertime. (Example of use: "DINNER! COME FOR DINNER!")

- 'Oi': You would REALLY make heads turn when you yell this name out in public. In fact, you might get a few choice glares or curses as well. (Example of use: "OI! COME HERE!")

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