Award-winning screenwriter and film-maker The Visitor (The Duke of Ahbengness, Ultimate Movie Snob, Defender of Eyeris-Insulted Ah-Bengs and Legal Indonesian Workers, occasional haunter of this blog, bestower of the title 'Ugliest Blog in the World' on this blog) is looking for people to act in his upcoming film, Offerings, as 'The Wife'.
Julai Roberts has already declined the role because The Visitor was to cheapskate to pay the RM1 million appearance fee the actress demanded (He offered to pay her in dog biscuits), while Halle Berry decided to turn down the role because she still hasn't gotten over the trauma of Catwoman.
So, The Visitor is now looking for other aspiring (and less finicky) actors, and issued a plea HERE on his blog:
We are still looking for an actress to play the Wife.
Late 20s, early 30s. With strong facial features. Able to speak Mandarin or Cantonese.
Please do contact me if you're interested. We need to confirm our talents by this week, the very last window of opportunity for us to hold casting.
My email: firstname.lastname@example.org
So, if you can act (or like to think you can act), go on over to The Clouded Moon and find out how you can star in groundbreaking, blockbuster horror-comedy Offerings!
If The Visitor likes you enough, he might even give you the merchandising rights to the movie.. (Hint, whatever you do, DON'T diss the Afro)
If you CAN'T act (or think you can't), then you can also help him out by giving him money.
Or, alternatively, just go to his blog and check out an incredibly cool picture of me HERE... Now THAT'S entertainment!