Wednesday, 12 October 2005

Getting Thud and Stabbed and Slashed...

I got Thud! The book I mean, not actually getting coshed in the head (though god knows how many people have tried to do that).

So far, I'm already on chapter five, and it's looking pretty alright. Yeeha!

As for being slashed and stabbed, I went for a knife-fighting class, and used non-lethal foam knives to fight, and it was FUN.

I think almost every guy has this inner macho warrior just waiting to burst out (Except maybe the er... The Visitor. His afro won't allow it). Hands up how many of you have longed to be in an actual lightsaber fight, or a swordfight, or heck, just a plain FIGHT? How many of you would LOVE to wield a knife or sword and just stab and slash people without actually KILLING anyone?

For two hours, we slashed, parried poked, stabbed, blocked, and generally had a great time. After the class, after two hours of stabbing and slashing people and playing with knives, my adrenalin was so high I was not tired at all (even though I was actually positively KNACKERED before that. Long day, see. Visiting Garbage landfills take a lot of energy).

I've always wondered how it's like to actually wield a weapon in a real fight. None of that fencing or Kendo stuff though. Any fight that requires one to wear protective gear isn't REAL enough for this masochistic fight freak.

I've gotten in a fair share of fights in the past before. I'm skinny, yes, but hey, I could kick. I may not be trained to fight in any way, but all those hours watching Karate Kid and playing Street Fighter in arcades thought me how to Hadoken and Syoruken with the best.

Of course, when it comes to a REAL fight, my tactics tend to be a lot dirtier. Knees, elbows, flying kicks... Whee! (Hey, I'm skinny ok? I can't punch because it bloody HURTS) Lucky I only got into fights that involved a bloody nose or two and a rotan or two in school. My other friends used to get broken legs and all.

My GREATEST tactic however, especially when it comes to fights is always..... RUN AWAY.

I do a good run-away. I'm the freaking MASTER of Running-Away. I'm the bravest chicken-outter you'll ever see. After all, if the odds are against you, no point staying around and getting your ass-kicked for nothing eh? If I did anything else, I'd be flattened in no time. and those gangsters in my school were freaking REAL fighters.

Anyway, I digress again. I LOVE fighting with knives/swords/lightsabers. I'VE wanted to be in a lighsaber fight since I watched the first Star Wars. And I've also had a HUGE fascination with swords and weapons ever since the first time I read the Lone Wolf Gamebooks when I was a kid.

Heck, I OWN a sword. (SHHHHHH!).

I reckon I can wield a pretty mean badminton racket. Heck, if anyone tried to attack me when I have a badminton racket in my hand, he's looking for trouble. That goes for all those flies and mosquitoes out there as well. Heck, I probably have a BLACK BELT in Badminton-racket-do. I could proabably open a fight class using badminton rackets.

But anyway, last night's 'exercise' was damn good fun. Sure, I've got bruises all over my arms, and I got elbowed in the face twice (not real ones though. that would probably kill me). But it was FUN. And I wanna do it AGAIN.

Now, anyone wanna draw their weapon and go one-on-one with my badminton racket?

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