Monday, 14 November 2005

How to Start a Blog War with Eyeris: An Expert Guide

Vincent said today on Minishorts that trying to pick a fight start a blog war to me is pointless because I won't respond.

But WAIT! There ARE times when I WOULD respond. No, you don't have to say "Eyeris sucks" (overrated lar, that insult), and you sure as hell shouldn't even bother writing a whole blog post dedicated to telling the world how much I suck. Like Vincent said, I just won't give a damn. It's JUST A BLOG after all. Heh.

Anyway, here I shall teach you several ways that is almost guaranteed to start a blog war with Jovial Ol' Eyeris:

1) Blog about how Harry Potter is so much better than Lord of the Rings and that Gandalf is actually based on Dumbledore (Works best when you HAVEN'T actually read the books and only watched the movies), and link to me as "THAT IDIOT WHO THINKS HARRY POTTER IS OVER-RATED, AND THAT TOLKIEN IS GOD".

2) Blog about how San Francisco Coffee SUCKS because it is locally-owned and how Starbucks is so much better because it is American (when actually a certain mega-corporation owns the franchise here), and link to me as "THE IDIOT WHO THINKS SAN FRANCISCO COFFEE IS THE BEST COFFEE JOINT IN TOWN, AND THAT STARBUCKS SERVES NOT COFFEE, BUT COFFEE-FLAVOURED SUGAR WATER".

3) Blog about how you USED to support Liverpool in the 80's, Manchester United in the 90's, Arsenal in 2003, and now support Chelsea because 'They are the club with the best history'. And link to me as "THAT IDIOT WHO SUPPORTED LIVERPOOL EVEN WHEN THEY SUCKED AND COULDN'T WIN ANYTHING, AND WON'T CHANGE CLUBS EVEN IF ANOTHER CLUB IS WINNING EVERYTHING".

4) Blog about how you think Jimmy Eats World is CRAP music and how Simple Plan and Michael Learns To Rock are much better bands than Oasis, Foo Fighters, Coldplay and Radiohead combined. And link to me as "THAT IDIOT WHO WORSHIPS JIMMY EAT WORLD, AND THINKS MICHAEL LEARNS TO ROCK IS AN INSULT TO THE NAME".

5) Blog about how The Transformers SUCK and the GOBOTS and GABAN were so much better cartoons, and that JAZZ soudns like ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS. And link to me as "THAT IDIOT WHO THINKS TRANSFORMERS WERE THE BEST CARTOONS OF THE EIGHTIES, AND THINKS THE CARE BEARS SUCKED"

Will add more if I think of more.

So there you have it. A few ways on how to start a blog war with me. Now who says it's useless trying to start a blog war with me, EH? Come lar! I whack you with my badminton racket then you know. Heh.

But then again, now that I've successfully told everyone how to piss me off and start a blog war with me, I shall hereby declare the above pointers useless, because I BLOGGED THEM FIRST. HAH!

Now, excuse me while I go back to not giving a damn.

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