Monday, 31 October 2005

The Origins of Fireangel the Superbabe!

This story came up just now when I was kacauing Fireangel on MSN, and she asked me tell her a story. So I came up with this FA-flattering piece of crap:

I'm a genius.

--------------------------------------

The Origins of Fireangel the Superbabe!

Once upon a time, there was this vodka bottle, and it had legs, and it had wings. With its legs and wings, it would walk around bars picking up chicks. It was quite safe doing that because generally chicks don't like vodka, so they won't drink it.

Then one day, the walking/flying vodka bottle met this cute chick in a bar drinking Ribena all by herself. So he approached her.

When that chick saw the bottle of vodka, she thought to herself, "Bloody hell, this Ribena by itself damn sien lar. That vodka add to it should make it just right

So she GRABBED the vodka bottle by its neck, (FireAngel says: but the vodka had WINGS and LEGS wan woh, wudnt that make it somewhat ENCHANTED?), BIT the cap off it, and when the bottle tried to fly away, she GRABBED the wings and PULLED THEM OFF and attached them to her back instead.

THEN, she POURED her ribena into the bottle, (FireAngel says: WAH QUITE EVIL ALSO THIS WOMAN!) AND DRANK THE WHOLE BOTTLE OF RIBENA VODKA IN ONE SHOT
(FireAngel says: WAHHHHHHH! ALCOHOL TOXIC SYNDROME TERUS MATI!).

Because the vodka was enchanted, she didn't die of alcohol toxic syndrome, and after drinking it she became a very fiery (and drunk) person (FireAngel says: so what happened to her in the end hah?).

Thus, the combo of the enchanted fiery vodka and the wings turned the girl into a SUPERHERO called.... FIREANGEL!

woot woot! *clap clap* *Mexican wave*

And that's all for today folks. Tune in next time for further adventures of Fireangel! (in the next episode, Fireangel drinks beer and says it sucks)

(FireAngel says: LOLROF. TOTALLY AWESOMENEST!!!11oneone dudddde!)

TENKIU TENKIU!

*bows*

Happy Celebrating Being Malaysian!

Happy Deeparaya!

To all Malaysians, whatever race you are, whatever religion you believe in, Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Holidays!

When I was a kid staying in Pahang, studying in a Malay school I had lots of friends who were NON-Chinese. And come Deepavali or Hari Raya, a whole bunch of us would just go around town visiting these friends (and collecting duit raya of course).

As kids, we never really thought about the religious or the cultural aspects of the festivals. We just took it for granted that it's all an excuse for a holiday, to celebrate, and generally to have fun.

After all, Deeparaya ke, Kongsi Raya ke, if you look at it in a purely happy-happy-joy-joy kinda of way, it's the same. It's everyone coming together and celebrating something they truly care about. That's why you see Hari Raya open houses with all races joining in. That's why you see ads with not just one race in them.

We're in MALAYSIA for goodness' sake.

All the numerous festivals are no longer about just ONE race, just ONE religion. It's become a celebration of BEING MALAYSIANS, whatever race, whatever religion, JUST MALAYSIANS coming together and celebrating each other's beliefs. THAT'S what the festivals have become in this country to most Malaysians.

Even if you have nothing to do with the festival on a religious or a cultural way, it doesn't matter. Because you'll inadvertently get caught up with all the buzz and joy anyway (unless you stay under that coconut shell of yours at the bottom of a well the whole time lar).

Besides, it's the holidays! Take time off during Deepavali, or Hari Raya, go visit some freinds, forget all wars, forget all differences, and JUST HAVE FUN, ok?

As for me... I'm on LEAVE for the next week, so I'm gonna use it to the max! WOOT!

Sunday, 30 October 2005

Book Review: Where's My Cow? (Terry Pratchett)

Sorry for the lack of updates since Thursday. Been busy (but mostly lazy. hehe).

Anyway, for this weekend's Hopefully-Weekly Book Review, I'm gonna review something I've never reviewed before... a Children's PICTURE BOOK!

And for the record, it's the third straight book by Pratchett that I've reviewed in the past few weeks. Wow.

-------------------------------------------------------------



Title: Where's My Cow?
Author: Terry Pratchett

Synopsis:
A Discworld picture book for people of all sizes.

At six o'clock every day, without fail, with no excuses, Sam Vimes must go home to read Where's My Cow?, with all the right farmyard noises, to his little boy. There are some things you have to do. It is the most loved and chewed book in the world.

But his father wonders why it is full of moo-cows and baa-lambs when Young Sam will only ever see them cooked on a plate. He can think of a more useful book for a boy who lives in a city.

So Sam Vimes starts adapting the story. A story with streets, not fields. A book with rogues and villains. A book about the place where he'll grow up.

(Synopsis taken from Amazon.co.uk)

What I liked:
  • It's Pratchett, it's Discworld.
  • Nice to see familiar Discworld characters like Foul Ol' Ron, Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler and so on in the book
  • Kids will probably love it. It's colourful, it's funny, and you can act out all the characters for a good laugh.
  • Nice little accompaniment to Thud!.

What I didn't like:
  • The PRICE! GAH! THE PRICE! GAH! *Faints*
  • The art makes Young Sam Vimes look like Gollum at times...
  • Those unfamiliar with Discworld might not 'get' it very much
  • Some parts don't flow along very well as a children's book should.

What I think:
This may be Pratchett, and it may be a Discworld book, but it is NOT, I repeat, NOT a NOVEL. It's a PICTURE BOOK, and as such, it's catered towards CHILDREN. So to all those grown-up fans who bought the book hoping that Pratchett had written a Picture Book Novel for YOU ala The Last Hero, forget it.

What we DO get is a decent enough children's picture book, with lots of colourful pictures and funny content. Adults will probably be left cold and wondering what the fuss is all about, and balking at the high price point, but kids should probably like it.

So if you you wanna get your kids started early (and I mean REALLY early) on Pratchett's books, why not read Where's My Cow? to him or her? After all, even if the story itself doesn't make sense, you and your kid would probably have a lot of fun imitating a Hippopotamus by going "HRUUUUGH!" or imitating Foul Ol' Ron by going "BUGRIT!".

If you're a BIG fan of Pratchett (like me), and absolutely MUST have EVERY book he has ever written (like me), then get it. If you have a kid you can read this to, then you could read it to your kid (though the price might be a deterrent).

Otherwise, it's not really good value for money for the casual reader. Oh Bugrit.

Thursday, 27 October 2005

The Old Friends Tunnel-to-the-Past

Old friends are the best.

They turn up when you least expect it, and you're always damn happy to see the name appear on your phone (especially if it's a cute chick. Kembang gila when cute chicks remember you for so long).

Some ask you out for lunch ("OK! You belanja ar?",
Some call to ask you to join MLM ("Er... I not free that day lar. Very busy, no time to do 'business' with you"),
Some ask you go for beer ("HIC!"),
Some ask you for free concert tickets ("You think I ticket dispenser is it? What's in it for me?!?!?",
Some ask you to go for their wedding ("Bloody Hell. Kena saman again.")

Nothing beats getting a call from old friends, because it's so easy to talk to them. All you have to say is: "WAHLAU, WHY SO LONG NEVER HEAR FROM YOU?!?!?!", and then go on from there (Good for first five sentences of the conversation only).

Or if you're feeling sarcastic today: ""Wahlau, who died and made me the only number on your phone?". Or if you're grumpy and crabby and you know that friend is 'notorious' for only calling people up for favours or to join MLMs: ""What do you want NOW?" (Surefire way to cut short the conversation).

I love getting calls from old friends. It's like getting an instant link to the past, and meeting up with them is always fun because we'll be laughing about all the stupid things we did in the past, and we're all old enough to laugh at ourselves now. (No. Wait. Not ALL of us. Never mind).

Yup. Old friends are great. Not that new ones aren't great either. They're BOTH great.

Ah heck, ALL friends are great. Now where's my beer?

Wednesday, 26 October 2005

My Nano



50000 words (or more)
30 days (or less)
25 chapters (I hope)
7 characters (at least)
5 locations (probably)
2 hours a day (with breaks)
1 talking hamster (named Jesper)

That's MY NaNo.
What's YOUR NaNo?!?!?!


Sign up for NaNoWriMo NOW!
Join THESE nutcases NOW!

(Oops, no iPod Nanos around. Sorry)

Tuesday, 25 October 2005

The Murderous Tirade of a War-Hater

I was in a pretty murderous mood this morning when I came into the office, mostly due to some really idiotic drivers on the road today.

So there I was, wanting to bite the head off the first action fig... er... person I saw. I actually sat in my car for a a full ten minutes just trying to curb my murderous tendencies (thank goodness I'd taken out the Spiderman action-figure I had hanging on my rear-view mirror, or it would have gone the Jack Skellington way).

Anyway, while that surge of rage eventually subsided after ONE VERY LONG Green Day song screamed in my office's basement car park, that murderous feeling threatened to surface again, this time because of a certain war going on currently.

There are some issues that I wouldn't touch with a 60-foot pole, and this was one of them. (Yes, I'm gonna lapse into another cryptic tirade again. I promise to keep it short this time though).

But I just can't keep my mouth shut sometimes, eh?

Anyway, I HATE war, any type of war. It's ugly and it's just plain STUPID.

I've always believed that there are times when one needs to back down in order to move forward. AND that any setback ALWAYS has a silver lining. What infuriates me at times is how some people just DO NOT SEE that silver lining.

In THIS particular war, one side admittedly made a mistake (and apologised for it). But the other side has not admitted to it's mistakes, resorting instead to more sniping and more justifications. Sigh.

Look, just BACK DOWN ALREADY. have happened, losses have been suffered on both sides (though one side arguably had a more tangible loss). So CUT YOUR LOSSES. If not, everyone is just gonna have an even LOWER opinion of you than we already have.

Now, I think I'll go tear the head off that Ken doll I see over there...


(UPDATE, 23:08pm)


I've said this before: The Middle of the Fence is a Happy Place. And that's where I'm gonna stay. this 'tirade' was not aimed at anyone in particular. I just think the whole affair is overblown, and just... plain... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...


(UPDATE, 02:12am, 26-10-2005)

ENOUGH about the fucking war already. I'm SICK of the whole bloody thing. GEEEZEZ people, lighten up. Chill out. HAVE FUN. Isn't that why we started blogging ANYWAY? It wasn't for some cause, or money. We blogged because IT WAS FUN.

MOVE ON.

I'm gonna go back to blogging about books now, and I'm gonna refrain from even MENTIONING this whole screwed-up place we call the local blogosphere. (Singapore, Malaysia, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?)

Now sod off and let me book-blog in peace.

Monday, 24 October 2005

The Case of the Headless Jack Skellington

I decapitated Jack Skellington today.

No. I didn't reach into my TV midway through the DVD and decapitate the character while he was singing. I'm talking about my 14" Jack Skellington action figure.

I snapped his neck off while trying to fix an angry-face head on. Now he's REALLY pissed at me, and all his 12 interchangable heads are stuck in their plastic tray with no neck to be fixed upon.

WAAAA! I want my Jack back! :-(

I'll post a picture of the decapitated Jack later. It looks really creepy.


(Update: 23:54pm)

I don't have a camera with me now, so the picture of the creepy Headless Jack will have to wait. But in case any one was wondering, this is what my Jack Skellington action figure looks like:



Now, imagine that Jack without a head:



Creepy eh? Trust me, the actual thing looks even creepier.

It happened when I came back to the office today. Jack had fallen down, and his head had fallen off onto the chair. (That alone was already pretty spooky) So I tried to attach the head back.

MANA TAU, I put too much pressure on the neck, and it just went POP! And the NECK SNAPPED!

WAAAAA!!!!! Now my Jack Skellington action-figure (which was BRILLIANT) is HEADLESS! WAAAA!!!!

I WANT MY JACK'S HEAD BACK ON!!!!

:-( :-( :-(

Eyeris's Awesome Weekend

Friday: Had lots of Beer
Saturday: Had lots of Sleep
Sunday: Had lots of Coffee


(As commented on F**kstress' blog)

Sunday, 23 October 2005

Book Review: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents (Terry Pratchett)

So it was that after I'd finished Thud!, I decided to read ANOTHER Pratchett book, and at the same time, finally finish another long overdue read - The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, which I'd borrowed from Daphne a few months back but never got around to reading.

And now, as part of my Hopefully Weekly Book Review Series, here is the review!

----------------------------------------------------------------------



Title: The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents
Author: Terry Pratchett

Synopsis:
Imagine a million clever rats. Rats that don't run. Rats that fight...

Maurice, a scruffy tomcat with an eye for the main chance, has the perfect fiddle going. He has a stupid-looking kid for a piper, and he has his very own plague of rats - rats who are strangely educated, so Maurice can no longer think of them as 'lunch'. And everyone knows the stories about rats and pipers - and is giving him lots of money...

Until they try the trick in the far-flung town of Bad Blintz, and the nice little con suddenly goes down the drain. Someone there is playing a different tune. A dark, shadowy tune. Something very, very bad is waiting in the cellars. The rats must learn a new word. Evil.

It's not a game any more. It's definitely a rat-eat-rat world down there. In fact, that might only be the start...

What I Liked:
  • It's damn funny
  • Lots of good moments - happy ones, sad ones, funny ones, and very memorable ones
  • Very well-paced. Not too fast, not too slow either
  • The really exciting battle bits were really exciting to read
  • A talking con-cat (gee, that sounds obscene)? BRILLIANT!
  • The names of all the Rats are HILARIOUS. Sardines? Dangerous Beans? Nourishing? Hamnpork? GENIUS!
  • You can really get attached to the characters, and you want more of them.

What I Didn't Like
  • That it had to end
  • The ending WAS a little anti-climatic, IMHO
  • Am not sure if kids would actually get all that religious and socio-political stuff
My Thoughts:

This is Pratchett's first book for a younger audience, and he pulled it of quite well (considering he won an award for best kids book with this one, I'd say he did quite well with it, I must say). It's not as kiddy-friendly as his subsequent efforts, I must say, but it's got all the elements for a memorable bedtime story - great characters, good moral story, and lots of excitement.

Since I read the Tiffany Aching books before I read this, I have to say that I wasn't as impressed with Amazing Maurice as I was with the TA ones. But don't get me wrong. This is still a brilliant read - it's funny, it's well-paced, it was exciting, there were lots of nice touches, happy moments, sad moments, and after finishing it, you'll wish for more of the same.

It's one of his better-paced and well-rounded Discworld books, and it's a damn good read (I finished it in two days flat). I for one would love to read more about Dangerous Beans, Nourishing, Peaches and gang. And Maurice himself, of course.

On to the next Pratchett book! Wait. I'm out of Pratchett books. Drat.

Saturday, 22 October 2005

The Eyeris Beer Song




THE EYERIS BEER SONG

Lyrics by: Eyeris
Music: Any bloody tune you want
Picture from: Some noob's blog



Beer is good, Beer is divine.
Beer is so much better than wine.
HIC!
Beer is an acquired taste,
If not drunk, it's considered a waste.
HIC!
Beer is the sweet nectar of life,
And it might make you forget your wife.
HIC!
Beer is best drunk cold,
Otherwise it should not be sold.
HIC!
Beer is refreshing and it is cool,
Drinking too much makes you wanna jump in the pool.
HIC!
Beer like Asahi, Stella or Hoegaarden,
Can be drunk in the pub or in the garden.
HIC!
Beer is is favoured by all races, including Malaysian,
Drink too much, and you'll start speaking Russian.
HIC!
Beer is good when you are a-dining,
But don't drink too much if you are a-driving.
HIC!
Beer is good and beer is divine,
Eight bottles of beer can make you lose your mind.
HIC!

Related:
oktoberfest @ 1u, malaysian style
The Eyeris Coffee-Song!

Thursday, 20 October 2005

The Flag is at Half-Mast today.

When his mother died of natural causes in February 2004, Abdullah telephoned Endon in the United States, where she was undergoing treatment. She later told reporters that he said: "I've lost my mother and I don't want to lose you too."
- CNN.com (Cancer takes Malaysia's first lady)

Our PM may have his critics, but the sad news today reminds us that he is human after all.

The flag is at half-mast at EoE today.

Wednesday, 19 October 2005

The Middle of the Fence is a happy place

I like the middle of the fence.
The middle of the fence is a happy place.
You don't offend, you don't defend,
And you sure as hell don't need to pretend.
Sure, the middle of the fence does seem a little chicken at times,
But sometimes being a little chicken,
Is way better than always having to duck and cover.
Eh?

Monday, 17 October 2005

The Name is Von Dort... Victor Von Dort. And I'm not Blonde

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the new James Bond - Daniel "Layer" Craig.





Daniel Who, you ask? Well, he was in Layer Cake last year, appeared in Road to Perdition and The Jacket and is... well, a Brit.

Frankly, I don't give a damn, since the Bond movies have always been crap anyway. Incredibly macho and amazingly cool crap, but still crap.

The only things I like about James Bond movies were the girls and the gadgets. And the Cars. Oh yes, the CARS. I wish I could install heat-seeking missiles in my Proton Wira to blow away those annoying road-hoggers on Jalan Tun Razak.

Craig's kicked up a storm by being chosen, not because he can't act, but because well, he's BLONDE.

Apparently, that's like a big no-no, to some people. So he's BLONDE. Can't James Bond get a dye job or something? Pierce Brosnan was the whole new politically correct Bond (not by much, but they TRIED, I think) so why can't Craig be the whole new Metrosexual James Bond who goes around getting manucures, pedicures, and dye his hair to look more fashionable?

Nevertheless, forget James Bond. Casino Rotale isn't even due out until 2007. Besides, you want a REAL cool hero? Go check out that Victor guy from Corpse Bride.



Now THAT's a cool dude. I mean, he gets to meet a beautiful chick without even trying (his parents found her for him), and he marries ANOTHER beautiful chick (albeit, a dead one) at the same time, he gets to go in and out of the Land of the Dead without having to sit in a bucket of water while hugging a cat, plays the piano, he drinks stuff without shaking or stirring it first, and even has Captain Jack Sparrow, Edward Scissorhands and er... Willy Wonka speaking on his behalf.

Now THAT'S a cool hero. Sure, he's a little wimpy and he tends to bump into things a lot. But at least he's got CHARACTER. He's got EMOTIONS (which is more than one can say about Timothy Dalton).

So dudes, FORGET about James Bond. Go watch Corpse Bride. Not just because the hero, who happens to be made from clay, looks and expresses more emotion than a thousand Daltons or Brosnans (ok, maybe slightly more than just ONE Connery), and not just because the Corpse Bride, whose eye keeps popping out, looks a thousand times more beautiful than Halle Berry in an orange bikini. (No. Wait. Hmmm. Nah.)

Watch Corpse Bride because it's a hundred times better than that Madagascar and Shark Tale pap that is being passed off as good animated movies. Watch it because it will remind you somewhat of Nightmare Before Christmas. WAtch it because it's a jolly good movie.

Aww heck, just go watch Corpse Bride. Or Victor Van Dort, license to squeal, will have your butt kicked, shaken AND stirred. THEN he'll marry you off to a skeleton. Take THAT, Mr Bond!

Sunday, 16 October 2005

Book Review: Thud! (Terry Pratchett)

Just finished Thud! last night, so here's the review! :)

-----------------------------------------------



Title: Thud!
Author: Terry Pratchett

Synopsis:
Koom Valley? That was where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls. It was far away. It was a long time ago.

But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office. With his beloved Watch crumbling around him and war-drums sounding, he must unravel every clue, outwit every assassin and brave any darkness to find the solution. And darkness is following him.

Oh ...and at six o'clock every day, without fail, with no excuses, he must go home to read 'Where's My Cow?', with all the right farmyard noises, to his little boy. There are some things you have to do.

What I liked:
  • It's Terry Pratchett!
  • It's F-U-N-N-Y.
  • THAT'S NOT MY COW!!!!!
  • You know what to expect with Pratchett, but at the same time, you can't PREDICT what's gonna happen with his story.
  • It's the City Watch. Next to the Death stories, I like the Watch most.

What I didn't liked:
  • Pratchett gets a little too serious at times, especially with the social commentary. But it's not THAT often actually.
  • I used to like Detritus the Troll a lot, but now I think he's a bit too... SMART now.
  • Story is not as complex as his previous books, it's a lot more simple. But it IS a Discworld book after all...

My Thoughts
Thud may not be as good as Pratchetts's best, but it's still good.

It's Pratchett as usual, with lots of nonsense (but very logical er.. nonsense. Oh never mind), and some social commenary as well. He continues taking the world's problems and Discworldfying them, giving his stories a slightly more.

No prizes for who the 'deep-downers', with all their shrouds, hoods and dark clothes are supposed to represent. Pratchett tackles racism, terrorism and religious fanatism in Thud!, and while he may have only skimmed the surface of the whole thing, it still works in the context of the story.

Speaking of the story, it IS a little simple, to tell the truth, especially when taken against his previous books. But then again, it IS still a fun read. Especially when Vimes starts reading Where is My Cow? to Young Sam.

Pratchett fans should be kept happy that their hero has not lost his touch (YET. Hopefully). As it is, Thud! should tide us over until his next book...

Now, I wanna get that Where is My Cow book! Woot!

Friday, 14 October 2005

How to Force Yourself to Cut Your Hair: An Expert Guide

Ever been through a time when you were so fond of your hair (Long, Short, whatever) that you just didn't want to do anything to it? Well, this post is for you!

Here's a few quick steps on how to force yourself to cut your hair...
  1. Don't wash your hair for a LOOONG time, wait until got kutu, then shave it clean so the kutu got no place to hide
  2. Get some bubble gum stuck in various parts of your hair (preferably the part you'd want to cut later on)
  3. Let your baby sister or brother practise their hairstyling skills on you, and make sure they make it look so horrible that you'd rather shave bald than go out with that hair style.
  4. Accidentally botch a dye job so your hair becomes Neon Green instead of blonde.
  5. Keep it so long and so thick that it looks like a mullet, then wait for people to start mistaking you for George Michael (or Kenny G, if your hair is curly enough)
  6. Eat lots of ajinomoto so all your hair falls off in bits.
  7. Do a Peter Tan and pledge to shave your hair if people donate RM5000 to Hospice.
Now shoo. I want to go wash my mullet.

Looking forward to the weekend.

It's the weekend! Things I'm looking forward to this weekend are:

1) Getting some plot ideas down for my upcoming NaNoWriMo attempt next month.
2) Finishing Thud! and hopefully Science of Discworld III as well.
3) Sleeping at home
4) Going out for Troubadours at La Bodega KL on 8pm, Sunday night to drink some beer and see Izuan play.
5) More sleeping. I love sleeping.
6) My weekly Char Siew Siew Yok Chicken Rice meal.

Yes, for a change I don't have anything to do on a weekend. Whee! I wanna go jolly. Anyone wanna go for a date or something? :)

Thursday, 13 October 2005

Drool drool drool drool...

Minishorts chased me out of her blog because I was drooling too much HERE. So I came back here to drool instead.

Here goes:

Drool drool drool drool
Drool drool drool drool
Drool drool drool drool
Drool drool drool drool

SLURP!

*wipe wipe*

Drool drool drool drool
Drool drool drool drool
Drool drool drool drool
Drool drool drool drool

*breath, breath*

Drool drool drool drool
Drool drool drool drool
Drool drool drool drool
Drool drool drool drool


More cause to drool HERE too.

So I'm a sucker for cute chicks. Plain you ain't, miss. :-)

Now, if we can only get her to pose in a bikini like those Singaporean bloggers.... WOOT WOOT!

PS... First person to slap me and remind me that I have a girlfriend gets an expired Aik Cheong Kopi-O 3-in-1 FREE!

Wednesday, 12 October 2005

Getting Thud and Stabbed and Slashed...

I got Thud! The book I mean, not actually getting coshed in the head (though god knows how many people have tried to do that).

So far, I'm already on chapter five, and it's looking pretty alright. Yeeha!

As for being slashed and stabbed, I went for a knife-fighting class, and used non-lethal foam knives to fight, and it was FUN.

I think almost every guy has this inner macho warrior just waiting to burst out (Except maybe the er... The Visitor. His afro won't allow it). Hands up how many of you have longed to be in an actual lightsaber fight, or a swordfight, or heck, just a plain FIGHT? How many of you would LOVE to wield a knife or sword and just stab and slash people without actually KILLING anyone?

For two hours, we slashed, parried poked, stabbed, blocked, and generally had a great time. After the class, after two hours of stabbing and slashing people and playing with knives, my adrenalin was so high I was not tired at all (even though I was actually positively KNACKERED before that. Long day, see. Visiting Garbage landfills take a lot of energy).

I've always wondered how it's like to actually wield a weapon in a real fight. None of that fencing or Kendo stuff though. Any fight that requires one to wear protective gear isn't REAL enough for this masochistic fight freak.

I've gotten in a fair share of fights in the past before. I'm skinny, yes, but hey, I could kick. I may not be trained to fight in any way, but all those hours watching Karate Kid and playing Street Fighter in arcades thought me how to Hadoken and Syoruken with the best.

Of course, when it comes to a REAL fight, my tactics tend to be a lot dirtier. Knees, elbows, flying kicks... Whee! (Hey, I'm skinny ok? I can't punch because it bloody HURTS) Lucky I only got into fights that involved a bloody nose or two and a rotan or two in school. My other friends used to get broken legs and all.

My GREATEST tactic however, especially when it comes to fights is always..... RUN AWAY.

I do a good run-away. I'm the freaking MASTER of Running-Away. I'm the bravest chicken-outter you'll ever see. After all, if the odds are against you, no point staying around and getting your ass-kicked for nothing eh? If I did anything else, I'd be flattened in no time. and those gangsters in my school were freaking REAL fighters.

Anyway, I digress again. I LOVE fighting with knives/swords/lightsabers. I'VE wanted to be in a lighsaber fight since I watched the first Star Wars. And I've also had a HUGE fascination with swords and weapons ever since the first time I read the Lone Wolf Gamebooks when I was a kid.

Heck, I OWN a sword. (SHHHHHH!).

I reckon I can wield a pretty mean badminton racket. Heck, if anyone tried to attack me when I have a badminton racket in my hand, he's looking for trouble. That goes for all those flies and mosquitoes out there as well. Heck, I probably have a BLACK BELT in Badminton-racket-do. I could proabably open a fight class using badminton rackets.

But anyway, last night's 'exercise' was damn good fun. Sure, I've got bruises all over my arms, and I got elbowed in the face twice (not real ones though. that would probably kill me). But it was FUN. And I wanna do it AGAIN.

Now, anyone wanna draw their weapon and go one-on-one with my badminton racket?

Tuesday, 11 October 2005

A Stinky but Environmentally Friendly Message

I just got back from an el-stinko of an assignment, interviewing people at a garbage landfill. If you think your own kitchen waste smells bad, imagine what 200 tons of garbage smells like.

BLUUUUEH. UWEK!

Anyway, visiting that landfill today left a lasting impression on me (and I'm not talking about the lingering stink on my clothes). It made me wonder how much garbage I actually throw out a day, which is a LOT. Paper and plastic most of all.

Really, I never gave much thought to my own garbage till the day I started writing environmental stories. Sure, my sister (who can be quite the environmentalist at times) used to drill us on the importance of recycling plastic bags and bottles, boycotting styrofoam and not eating sharks-fin (which I still do. The taste is over-rated anyway). But I never gave much thought to it.

I'm still a long way from being a tree-hugger, but hey, I try to do what I can. My car boot is full of plastic bottles and aluminium cans I've collected (my car could pass off as a garbage truck, if you disregard the fact that it's actually a Proton Wira...). I try not to use styrofoam stuff as much as possible, and oh, I DO like trees (not enough to HUG them, mind you). Especially the shady ones. :-)

Then I found out about all sorts of morbid stuff while researching my articles. Stuff like how much garbage are going into landfills. And how little is being recycled. And how if the current trend continues, we might eventually turn our entire COUNTRY into a landfill.

Its depressing stuff. What's even more depressing is how easily people in Malaysia dismiss it with their tidak-apa attitude and continue being un-environmentally friendly.

Recycling is still very much in its infancy here in Malaysia. People still dump everything in one place and expect it to be carted somewhere where they don't see it again.

But hey, it DOES come back leh. All the landfills are all almost full oledi. A few hundred TONS of garbage are being dumped in landfills EVERY DAY. Sooner or later, your HOUSE may be next to a landfill (a bit of an exageration, but hey, it COULD happen eh?)

Someone I interviewed today said that if stuff is recycled AT SOURCE (meaning you and me at our own houses, folks), then a lot of the garbage going into landfills could actually be reduced.

So... the next time you are about to throw out your aluminium cans, plastic bottles or newspapers, think of sending them for recycling instead. Heck, you might even make some MONEY out of it. Not much, but hey, it's MONEY.

So people, here's the moral of the day - RECYCLE! REUSE! MAKE MOST OF IT! HUG SOME TREES! SAVE THE WHALES!

Now excuse me while I go take a shower to get rid of the stink...

*This environmentaly friendly message was brought to you by the letters R and R. All your garbage are NOT belong to me.*

Monday, 10 October 2005

Free Nano-Nano for Nano-ers!

Just got back from Singapore yesterday, where I watch Cirque Du Soleil's Quidam (which was AWESOME, BTW), and generally did nothing else except read and shop for LEGO. Yup, a good break that was.

Anyway, back to regular blog transmissions.

The National Novel Writing Month is about to kick of in November, and after failing to get past the 5000-word point (let alone the objective of 50000 words), I decided to give it another go this year. This time, I have a definite story I want to write.

Ok, so it was just a half-baked idea I cooked up while lazing in bed at eleven in the morning, but hey, it's a start. Plus it's the first idea for a story I've had that I think can actually go the distance since.... er... never! At least I have the beginnings of a 10000 word story (still not sure whether it can last 50000 words though).

Anyway, lots of bloggers and Malaysians are joining the fun (or insanity) of writing 50000 words in a month. Erna is doing it. Minishorts is doing it. Sharon is doing it. Even Sashi is doing it!

So go check out the Malaysian NaNo blog at http://nanomy.blogspot.com to see who else is Nano-ing, or just go sign up yourself at http://www.nanowrimo.com!

Let's go Nano! The first ten to sign up after reading this post gets a pack of Nano-Nano sweets (SWEEEET, Sour and SALTY!!!) on me! :-)

Those who want iPod Nanos can go shopping with Kenny instead...

Wednesday, 5 October 2005

Happiness is a Warm Bun...

Happiness is a warm bun with some peanut butter and jelly in it.
Happiness is finishing your work before the boss chases you for it.
Happiness is a nice game of badminton.
Happiness is a nice bowl of tomyam soup after that game of badminton.
Happiness is a warm bath when you come home after getting stuck in the rain.
Happiness is finally finding that elusive Transformer you've been searching for for weeks.
Happiness is RIPPING apart the toy packaging and transforming it for the first time.
Happiness is watching Final Fantasy Advent Children and feeling nostalgic over the game.
Happiness is a book you want to re-read over and over again.
Happiness is a book that ends EXACTLY on the right note.
Happiness is driving along with your window open and you're singing at the top of your lungs
Happiness is when a cute chick tells you you look nice. :-)
Happiness is a friend you fight with and make-up all over again EVERY MONTH.
Happiness is the 2004/2005 Champion's League Final.
Happiness is a plate of sambal petai.
Happiness is a pot of Nicaraguan coffee, dark, and brewed just right.
Happiness is a mug of beer that costs less than Coca-Cola.
Happiness is getting lots of comments on your blog. ;-)
Happiness is a tub of LEGO.
Happiness is the thought of coming home to someone you love.
Happiness is her smile.

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I'm adding more as I go along. Feel free to add yours as well. :)

(Update: 7-10-2005)
I'm in Singapore right now and may not have time to update the blog. So I'm leaving this post on top, and let you guys add to the list of what makes YOU happy. And feel free to do it on YOUR blog as well.

Regular blog transmission will resume on Monday!

Happiness is not having to work! Whee!

The Manga Sayonara

F***Stress is one gila Naruto nut. So gila, in fact, that she wrote THREE reviews on the FIRST episode alone HERE.

Yup. She watches Naruto a lot. I have no problem with that. But then hor, then she go and says that, "I am not a Naruto manga reader. Comicbooks are as dry as dryf**ks with no lubricant. They hurt."

OOOOKAAAAY. I don't know what she does with the manga books SHE'S had, but I have to say that they are hardly dry, and Manga CAN be rather er... stimulating as well, you know. Mentally, I mean.

AW heck. MANGA ROCKS!

I used to read a lot of manga. Heck, I used to BUY a lot of manga.

I bought stacks and stacks of the Chinese translated versions (I don't read Japanese, see, and the English & BM translations are CRAP) of Inuyasha, Slam Dunk, City Hunter, Dragonball, Dr. Slump, Kungfu Kid (Tie Quan Xiao Zi), and a lot more.

My favorites were Slam Dunk (about the red-haired basketball genius who doesn't know how to play basketball) and City Hunter (the pervy private eye/assassin with a constant erection. Don't ask). I read them over and over again countless times, and STILL laughed at the jokes. Heck, I had the whole SET of them.

Inuyasha is not bad either, though I preferred the same author's Ranma series. THAT was a hilarious manga.

The other day, I was watching the Inuyasha anime with my larling, and I realised that I actually already knew what happened. YEARS before the anime came out here. So I told her I knew what happened. And she told me to shut up because she didn't want to know what happens.

Sigh...

Nowadays,, I've stopped buying manga, mostly because I have no space on my shelves for them anymore (the ones I have are in cold storage), and I couldn't keep up with ALL the ones I wanted to read anymore. So I stopped, cold turkey.

It also coincided with the time I first read Dragonlance books, and got hooked to fantasy novels instead. So then, it was sayonara to manga, and hello to fantasy books instead.

I DO take out my Slam Dunk and Inuyasha comics out once in a while to read though. They're fun. They're cool. And there are so many things in the manga that can never be translated properly onto an anime.

Come to think of it, I DO love manga. Maybe I'll start buying some again. I've always wondered what happened to Inuyasha after the 25 volume.....

Tuesday, 4 October 2005

The Room with the Precariously-Perched Toys

Today, I made a big decision. I decided to let someone else other than myself clean my room.
My grandma's maid is staying with us for a while you see (while my grandma is off holidaying in Singapor), and she's been helping us clean the house while she's here.

Now, my house has generally very little to do, as it's only my parents and I staying there, and we usually do our own housework (yes, I mop the floor and do the dishes once in a while as well). So the maid has not much to do, and she's been asking for something to do.

So my mom asked me to let her into my room. OKAAAAY.

I don't usually let people into my room you see. Heck, not even my parents dare to go into my room.

You see, my room is a very hazardous area. Besides being perpetually cluttered with clothes on the floor, books thrown everywhere, an overflowing barbage bin and the lots of boxes everywhere, there are also quite a number of shelves full of... er... TOYS.

Yes, my room is full of toys. I collect toys. Hundreds of them. ACTION FIGURES to be precise (though there is the occasional Lego, Transformer and sword lying around as well). And all these toys are out of their packages, nicely displayed and posed in various action poses on my shelves and cupboards.

Problem is, some of these toys are so precariously and pain-stakenly posed and arrange that even the slightest bump might send the entire collection falling over each other. Which is why I NEVER allow anyone to enter my room, for fear of someone sending my precious Morgul Lord and Eowyn statues crashing down on the floor.

So to prevent that from ever happening, I clean my room myself most of the time (which is not very often. Those tiny action figures are a pain in the neck to dust. Heck, I mop my living room more than I mop the floor in my OWN room).

Now, back to today. I'm still a bit worried about letting the maid go into the room. She's gonna be changing the curtains, the bedsheets, mopping the floor, and I'm afraid her mop handle might hit my Darth Vader cookie jar, or the curtains may sweep my Minimates off their Lego bases, or she might decide to get over-zealous and start dusting off my action figures and NOT put them back where they were, thus resulting in me having to arrange them all over again.

Yes, I can be very anal about my toys. So sue me.

But anyway, I'm sure that she knows what she's doing. After all, I DID tell her to just stick to the basics, and not go NEAR the action figures (I'll dust them myself, thank you very much). And when I get home, I'll have a nice clean room to sleep in.

Now all I have left to do is to vacuum that 3 inch layer of dust under my bed....

Sunday, 2 October 2005

Malaysian bloggers, where has the FUN gone?

Foreword: This started out as a post to poke fun at some happenings in the blogosphere, but it turned out less funny than I thought, so I screwed it for a lark and wrote a serious rant instead.

Visitor, reading this IS optional for you. :-)


When I first entered the chaotic world that is the Malaysian blogosphere one year and a half ago, I only knew four people who blogged, all of whom were colleagues of mine.

The blogosphere was something new that I wanted to explore then. It was interesting. There were lots of interesting characters that I wanted to read about, some that I thought were people I would like to meet in real life. (Some I did, some I have yet to)

In the search for more blogs to read, and more people to meet, I was introduced to PPS, where I found more interesting blogs to read. And it was fun, because blogging back one year back (funny how things change in a year, eh?) was still a nice niche that was stil relatively devoid of pretentiousness (save a few) and all the stressful shit I had to put up with in real life.

It gave me a place to lose myself in other people's lives, to share my own misguided thoughts and reviews with others, and make friends at the same time.

Nowadays, it doesn't seem so fun anymore. There are more bloggers flaming one another, more trolls, more bloggers attacking the so-called 'femes bloggers' for the sake of hating them, more inter-blog and intra-blog blogiticking going around, more people bitching about this blog and that blog to other bloggers, and people blogging for the sake of becoming femes, or to earn money.

To tell the truth, blog-surfing in the Malaysian blogosphere has become a bit of a bitch, if you ask me.

Now, I don't agree with many of the views there, and may not agree with a lot of the actions (whether within the blog or OUTSIDE the blog) of some of the bloggers, but heck, I certainly am not gonna be the one to tell them "This is not how you should blog" or "Your blog is not a BLOG" or "You are a bad blogger because you don't do this and this".

JEEEZEZ all you so called 'BLOG GURUS'. It's a BLOG. There IS no PROPER way to be a GOOD BLOGGER. There IS no such thing as a good or bad blogger, just bloggers whom are read and those whom are not. The FIRST 'Guru' who proves to me otherwise gets a Nescafe 3-in-1 on me.

Anyway, and I digress, these days I've cut down a lot on blog-surfing, and have been going back to the same old blogs over and over again, mostly because with these blogs, at least I know they are (mostly) original and fun. Some may tend to be a tad bitchy, and some a little more crass than others, and others may have lots of lame-ass jokes, but at least they started out fun and are still fun to read.

Personally, I prefer bloggers whose posts at least show that they gave a bit of thought to it. But then, givig it thought does not mean spending two-three hours writing and rewording it and over-editing it to the point where it's no longer spontaneous.

I see that over-editing shit all the time at work, so I'm sick of it. Which is why my bolg gt so mnay typoos. Of course, that's just me.

All I want out of blogging and blog-surfing is a little bit of fun. That's all I want out of a blog, whether it's my own or when reading other blogs - That it is FUN, FUN, FUN, and doesn't pretend to be anything else.

When it ceases to be fun, maybe it's time to stop eh?

PS: someone pointed out that I contradicted myself in saying that I don't tell people how to blog, but tell people instead that they should not over-edit. Well, kind proves that I DON'T edit my blog much eh? :)

PSS: The next one who tells me to go look for another blogosphere to trawl in has to give me a Nescafe 3-in-1 when I met them next. YES, there is a world of blogs out there, and YES, I can always screw it all and go trawl the blogosphere in Afghanistan instead, but ultimately, I prefer Malaysian blog universe because it's what I connect with the most, and can relate to the most.

PSSS: Damn I feel so self-righteous. Prick I am. So there!

PSSSS: I also just realised that for all my complaints about blogging being fun, this post has been ANYTHING but fun. Haha. Ok, back to blogging about books on Monday. :)

Book Review: The Broker (John Grisham)

Yes yes, it's a John Grisham book. I have to review it, ok? And besides, I've read almost every other book he's released, so why stop now? :)

As for the Nix books, I'm halfway through Drowned Wednesday, so I figured I'll wait till I've finished it first and do the review one shot later. :)

In the meantime, here's the Grisham review, which is just to get me started on my PROPER review which I owe Daphne...

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Title: The Broker
Author: John Grisham


Synopsis:
Before he was sent to federal prison for treason (among other things), Joel Backman was an extremely powerful man. Known as "the broker," Backman was a high roller - a lawyer making $10 million a year who could "open any door in Washington."

That is, until he tried to broker a deal selling access to the world's most powerful satellite surveillance system to the highest bidder. When caught, Backman accepted prison as the one option that would keep him safe and alive, since the interested parties (the Israelis, the Saudis, the Russians, and the Chinese) were all itching to get their hands on his secrets at any cost.

Little does he know that his own government has designs on accessing that information - or at least letting it die with him. Now, six years after his incarceration, the director of the CIA convinces a lame duck president to pardon Backman, and the broker becomes a free man - and an open target.

(Synopsis taken from Amazon)


What I liked:

  • It's well-paced. Well, almost.
  • It's easy to read
  • It's easy to understand
  • It's easy to get into
  • It's easy to finish
  • Ah heck. It's an easy book to read, ok?

What I didn't like:

  • TOO easy to read. Like Grisham really wasn't making much of an effort to write this.
  • A bit anti-climatic
  • Somewhat cliched. Oh well, it's Grisham after all.
  • Characters too shallow
  • Everything seemed too EASY for Backman.

Summary:

I didn't like the Broker as much as The Last Juror, or A Time to kill, because the whole premise and the whole plot is just so shallow, and the characters are so shallow, and the book is so light-weight that it makes Harry Potter seem like cerdible literature (damn I gotta stop using Harry Potter as an example. It's too easy a target....)

Judging from his 'disclaimer' at the end of the book where he says that he doesn't know nuts about satellites or technology (but he DOES know Bologna, little wonder most of the best bits are centered there), I'm guessing that this book is some kind of 'experiment' for Grisham.

I'm just thankful that I didn't pay any money to read his experiment, because The Broker is definitely not one of Grisham's best (for all THAT'S worth, I guess).

Oh, it's a decent enough read, I guess. But only when you have nothing else better to read (which is REALLY sad. Go get more books!). Or you're stuck in an airport with nothign else to read this is even sadder, because you'd have no choice BUT to read it....).

Otherwise, just borrow it if you're like me and just HAVE to read almost every single book the guy has released....

Saturday, 1 October 2005

The People You Miss...

Some people you miss constantly
Some people you miss occasionally
Some people you miss when they are not there
Some people you miss even though they are always there
Some people you miss only when they leave,
Some people you miss even when they go on leave.
Some people you miss all the time,
Some people you miss only when you have time.
Some people you DON'T miss at all,
Some people you DON'T want to miss at all.