Tuesday, 10 January 2006

How the Goddamn Seed Slam-Bonked Samurai XXX's Dragon Balls

With all that furore regarding a certain sorry excuse for a 'reporter' who thought all anime shows are 'animated sex', I figured it would be fun to speculate what kind of 'anime' that dude has been watching. After all, SURELY he has been watching the WRONG sort of anime if he can mistake stuff like Pokemon, Dragonball, Naruto or Inuyasha for er.. alternative entertainment.

So, I get the feeling that while doing his 'research' on the story, he must have accidently asked for the wrong type of anime (go HERE to find out what sub-genres of anime is out there), and gotten these titles instead:

(WARNING: Contains references to REAL anime, cute or otherwise. The Writer is not responsible for any childhood memories shattered or crude mental images you may get after reading this post)

Dragon Balls - A manga-cum-anime about a spiky hair dude with a tail, who goes around the world looking for seven male studs with balls that have stars on them. May include monkeys and violent transformations

Slam Bonk - Sports flick about a team of basketball players going around the country partcipating in mass orgies, led by a red-haired doofus who is also a virgin.

Spit-it Away - An award-winning anime about a woman who gets trapped in a village full of porn stars who spit instead of swallow.

Samurai XXX - A period film set in medievel Japan, where Samurai warriors roam the land looking for mates. May include long swords without sheaths.

Pokey Man - A hardcore documentary about the life and times of a notorious pervert who goes around in a cute yellow-teddy-bear-like costume kacau-ing girls.

Clitorial D - Fast Cars, skimpily clad babes and one tau foo fah seller. Nuff' Said.

Silly Moon - About a team of (legal-aged) girls with superpowers, dressed in skimpy sailor uniforms who go around mooning demons who have escaped from Hentai Hell.

Cowboy Be Bonked - About a team of mercenaries who earn money on the side as part-time pimps and amateur porn movie directors

Goddamn Seed - Giant robots sowing their seed. Go Figure.

Fairy Fantasy XXII: I Hate Children - Blonde hero called Cloudy Stuff wielding big sword goes on a crusade to eradicate kiddy porn, because he is sick and tired of child porn giving the porn industry a bad name. Has to fight off a big bad guy called Suckmeoff, who has an IMPOSSIBLY LONG sword. Features lots of androgynous pretty boys and one hot babe in leather. (Disclaimer: All actors in this film are above legal age.)

Ranmate 7 1/2" - A male porn star becomes a bisexual after being sprinkled by some, ahem, magic juice, and gains the power of turning into a lesbian when taking hot showers.

Will add more if I think of more. :D

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