Thursday, 2 November 2006

How Books Are Banned

Overheard in an office of customs officers inspecting a crate of imported books...

"AIYOH! The word 'SEX'! BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! A yellow sponge and a topless starfish! BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! The WIGGLES! Why are they wiggling huh? BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! Mao! Rushdie! Robbie Williams! All this people vely bad wan! BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! A book on Massage! Last time I go massage parlour hor, got no massage wan, all sex sex sex only wan! BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! Disney! That Chicken Little, The Wild cartoon all so lousy, so this book sure lousy wan! BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! The MALAYAN trilogy! What kind of author is this lah, still calling us MALAYA. After it make all our students fail SPM Sejarah! BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! Midnight's Children? Must be about children sneaking out at midnight! Kenot let that happen! Afterwards got more Mat Rempit! BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! Shalimar the Clown! Eh, I sked of clowns lar. BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! APANI??? How to Talk to Your Child About Sex???!???? Teaching our CHILDREN about SEX??? Don't they know the kids are suppose to learn it from PORN when they grow up? BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! Yi Xing Teapots! After everyone drink Chinese tea only, our mamaks no more teh tarik to sell, go bankrupt! BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! Business Statistics! Last time my lecturer in college for this subject fail me! So everyone else must fail as well! BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! The word 'Rape'! They'll teach our impressionable young men to rape women! BAN IT! (Eh, who is Nanking har?)"

"AIYOH! Apani "Read-Aloud Children's Classics"???? Don't they know people should read QUIETLY so that they don't disturb other people around them? Teaching our children bad manners! BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! Music for Sleeping Babies! How can we let our babies sleep all the time??? Afterwards they dowan to wake up! BAN IT!"

"AIYOH! Divine Secrets of the Ya-ya Sisterhood! Must be some wacko suicide cult book! BAN IT!

"AIYOH! Breasts! Ban it! Breastfeeding? No need lah! Afterwards all the mothers start breastfeeding, all the Malaysian powder milk company bankrupt! BAN IT! "

"AIYOH! Playboy! Seduce: 100 Tips to Arouse! The Best Sex Positions Ever! Too lucah for Malaysians! BAN IT! (Eh boss, after you finish reading I pinjam can ar?)"

"AIYOH! ROBERT JORDAN! I read in some 'eyelis' blog somewhere that the Wheel of Time series is a waste of time. We kenot let our Malaysians to waste their time reading this book! BAN IT!"

Related Links:

- Silverfish Books: Books Restricted by KND Johor Bahru
- Bibliobibuli: Midnight's Children Banned
- Midnight Lily : Banned books
- Minishorts: The simplest reason is the right reason
- Sashiweb: Banned Books
- Suanie: sick/ mawi still sux/ banned books/ cheers/ finger/ lainie
- Sharanya Manivannan: Oh. My. God.
- Whereinsoever: Who’s the genius banning books this time?
- Glenda Larke: how to look stupid in the eyes of the world
- myAsylum: Profiling the Serial Book-Killer
- Eternal Wanderer: WTF?? Who the heck bans Spongebob Squarepants and The Wiggles??
- Hantu Bola: Let's ban some books
- Acid Burn: Here's something to think about
- BP Bites: Hopping Onto The Book Ban(d)wagon
- 5Xmom: Bloggers against book banning

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