Monday, 5 February 2007

How To Waste Your Time By Complaining to the Wrong People: An Idiot's Guide

*Office phone rings*

Surprisingly Busy Journalist: Hello, this is...

Ranting Ang Moh:
Hello, is this THE office? In today's copy, you have made a MISTAKE on THIS page, where it should have been THAT word instead; and on the story in PAGE 2 Titled THIS AND THAT, you have THIS error where THIS WORD should have been used THIS way and not THAT way, and.....

SBJ:
Excuse me sir, what's yo...

RAM:
..... you have ALSO, on the OTHER page, used THE OTHER word the wrong way, resulting in THAT sentence being WRONG, and you SHOULD be using THIS word THAT way, and this is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE for something as BIG as you.....

SBJ: Er.. sir, I'm just...

RAM: .....and the other word should be THIS way, not in hte PLURAL, because it is a SINGULAR item and....

SBJ: Sir, you're speaking to the wro....

RAM: .... AND you have printed this AD on THIS page where the grammar is WRONG, and it sends the WRONG message, and the WORD is wrong......

SBJ: ..... sigh ...... oh well ..... *zones out, start typing on laptop*

RAM: ... SERIOUSLY If you CAN'T get these things straight, I don't know HOW you can sell copies. In THIS section you have THIS mistake as well, and the word SHOULD be used like this not THAT way....

SBJ: Mmm hmmm... doo di doo *cradles phone on shoulder, continues working to soundtrack of RAM in the background*

RAM: .... AND one LAST thing, your COVER page for this day states that it was THIS PLACE that the group were posing at, but I KNOW it is not THAT place that is shown on the picture because I have BEEN to THAT PLACE, and I therefore KNOW that the place they are posing at is NOT THAT PLACE; NEXT TIME you print PLEASE get your facts right and all your words right, will you?

*Sound of phone being slammed down*

SBJ: Doo di doo... Oh, he's hung up. Lalala... Yaaaawn....

*click*

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