Eyeris now takes a break from his regularly scheduled workload of transcribing countless interviews that were accumulated from his trip to Japan for a certain webby dude's premiere to give you this fairly useless guide about how to eat a Kit-Kat.
So I just got back from Japan recently. While there, I went a bit overboard with the Kit-Kat buying, mostly because there were so many different and wonderful looking Kit-kats, and as I'm a real sucker for Kit-Kats, especially those with cool-looking packaging.
Quite cool right? There's Dark chocolate (my favorite one when it came out here), Brandy and Orange (the most un-Kit-Kat-like of them all), Green Tea (pretty damn addictive), some weird 'whie peach' thingy (the pink one), and white chocolate (not a big fan of white chocolate, but oh well).
As a result of my happy Kit-Kat buying (and eating), I'm on the brink of a Kit-Kat overload right now, and I'm not even a quarter way through all of them. Not that I'm gonna stop eating them, mind you. heh.
Anyway, like I said, let me show you how to eat a Kit-Kat.
And don't worry, I'm not gonna run a truck over them this time. Though I might ask a Transformer to help me out later, if I have time.
No pictures though. Not that you'd want to see pictures of me putting Kit-Kats in my mouth right?
Moving right along...
How To Eat a Kit-Kat: An Expert, Limited Edition guide
1) Open the Kit-Kat Wrapper
2) If it's the newer plastic wrappers, then just rip it apart. But first, make sure the Kit-Kat has not been left in the hot sun for too long, or you'll have gooey stuff all over your hands, and the chocolate will get stuck to the wrapper, leaving you with a damn wafer and forcing you to lick it off the wrapper. Bleargh.
3) After you've opened the wrappers, take out the chocolate and break off one wafer
3) Now, if your Kit-Kat is wrapped in the old-school aluminium tin foil wrappers, then it's a lot more fun. Just make sure the chocolate bars are 'solid' enough, and then just BREAK them apart without even opening the foil (the foil 'breaks' apart with the bars).
4) If you're a sucker for shiny stuff, just opening it gently and then keep the foil between the pages of a book or something (this step does not in any way enhance the pleasure of eatingthe Kit-Kat. Trust me, I still have a bunch of Kit-Kat foil wrappers inside books, and I have no idea what I kept them for.)
5) Now, no matter which way you used, you should now have a single bar of Kit-Kat in your hands now. Holding the bar with two fingers (the chocolate tends to melt fast, so holding it with just two fingers minimises the amount of chocolate smears on yor hands), start nibbling off the chocolate (JUST THE CHOCOLATE, ok? don't bite into the wafer yet!) on the sides of the bar (including the two ends.)
6) If you do it right, you should be able to get the chocolate on both sides of the wafer off, leaving you with a naked-looking wafer with thin layers of chocolate on the top and bottom of it.
7) Don't swallow the chocolate yet!
8) Now, if you have two rabbit-like front teeth lie I do, you can use your teeth to scrape off the top and bottom layers of chocolate, adding to the little ball of chocolate you already have in your mouth, and leaving you with a REALLY naked-looking wafer with bits of chocolate stuck all over it.
9) NOW you can start eating the chocolate. Up to you how to eat it. Personally, I prefer to just let it melt in my mouth and then only eat it.
10) Now, on to the wafer. This is the best part, my personal favorite part. Now, the Kit-Kat wafer is made up of a few layers. First, using you teeth, of course, gently, very gently, try to bite off the top layer of the wafer, and eat it.
11) Repeat that step for the rest of the wafer. Why eat it like that? I donno. I just like the taste of the individual layers of the wafer, rather than eating the whole thing one shot. Eheh.
12) Repeat steps 5-11 for the remaining bars of the Kit-Kat.
13) After finishing all the bars, remember to lick the chocolate off your fingers. don't smear them on your shirt like a small kid ok? Afterward mommy scold.
Of course, you don't HAVE to follow my way of Kit-Kat-eating. Alternatively, you could always eat your Kit-Kat like all those ORDINARY people, by just breaking them apart and putting the whole thing in your mouth, but where's the fun in that? With MY way, you make the Kit-Kat last longer!
Coming up next in the Kit-Kat Chronicles: Eyeris leaves some limited edition Kit-Kats in the sun and Optimus Prime sits on them.
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