Tuesday, 3 July 2007

Why Transformers Sucks But I Still Watched It Four Times.



Because the movie ain't perfect, of course it ain't.
Because it's MICHAEL SUCKY BAY
Because I figure if anyone's qualified to criticise the movie, it's the guy who's already watched it four bloody times in the cinema, and going for a fifth time tonight at IMAX! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, yeah, the movie ain't perfect. But if you haven't seen it yet, you might wanna stop reading right now, because there be spoilers in this post and even though any spoilers are irrelevant because there really is nothign to spoil anyway... well, you get the drift.

Anyway, here's what I actually didn't like about the movie:

  • Not. Enough. Robots!
  • Too many puny meat creatures!!! Wasting precious screen time!!!
  • Bloody Linkin Park song at the end.
  • Not. Enough. Autobots!!!
  • Parents. Very. Irritating. Ironhide should have taken them out.
  • Sektor Seven dude very annoying. Bumblebee should lubricate on him more.
  • Not. Enough. Decepticons!!!
  • What's the hacker chick and the fat hacker there for? Frenzy should have wiped them out in bunker. (Hacker chick quite hot though)
  • DEVASTATOR??? It's supposed to be BRAWL, you morons! (apparently it WAS supposed to be Brawl, but thre were errors in the movie continuity editing subtitles and stuff, and it got mistakenedly called Devastator instead.)
  • You Decepticons die so easily!
  • JAZZZZZZZ! Why's it gotta be JAAZZZZZZ!
  • You call THAT a plot? The CARTOON MOVIE had a better story!
  • You call THAT A final showdown between two of the most POWERFUL Transformers???
  • You call THAT an ending?




That said, it's still an AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME movie (yes I did that to annoy you again, vincent, ahaha). Like Fireangel in an Optimus Prime helmet says, it's worth watching over and over again just to catch those AWESOME transformations, AND to see that magnificently-rendered chunk of metal that is Optimus Prime.

Heck, it's worth the price of the ticket just to watch that sequence where the protoform comets land on Earth, to the first sighting of Optimus, and when all the Autobots transform at the same time for the first time. Now THAT is cool. It really IS easily a hundred times cooler than Armageddon.

Seriously, I have not had this much fun in a cinema since.. since... The Incredibles, and that was almost three years ago!!! And I also haven't geeked out so much in a movie since the Lord of The Rings, and THAT was AGES ago!!! (Star Wars prequels you say? PAH.)

Besides, it's a summer popcorn blockbuster movie. By bloody MICHAEL BAY. It's supposed to be mindless fun and action. What the hell are you people going around analysing the plot lar, characters lar, the flow lar... just go watch it, have some mind-blowing awesome FUN FUN FUN!

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