Tuesday, 23 October 2007

Guns, Carrots and Monica Belucci's Boobs



SHOOT 'EM UP!
Not a review!
ONE BABY!
ONE STUPID STORY!
ONE PAIR OF BELUCCI BOOBIES!
ONE HELL OF A MOVIE!
GUNS!
LOTS OF 'EM!
BANG BANG BANG!
VIOLENCE!
BLOOD!
GORE!
SEX! (Somewhat censored!)
CARROTS! CRUNCH!



CLIVE OWEN!
THAT GUY FROM SIDEWAYS!
HEAVY METAL!
ROAD RAGE!
USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL!
GUNFIGHT ORGASM!
MORE OF BELUCCI'S BOOBIES!
MORE CORNY LINES!
MORE ABSURD GUNFIGHTS!
MORE VIOLENCE!
MORE GUNS!
BANG BANG!
FUN!
FUN!
FUN!



You know what I hate?
Movies like this.
Where everything is so absurd,
Where the nudity is so gratuitious,
And the violence is so in your face,
And the dialogue is so corny,
And the story is non-existent,
But you have so much fun,
That you don't give a damn.
Kinda like 300, but with GUNS.
IT'S GONNA TAKE MY MONEY AGAIN!
GODAMMIT!

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