Monday, 5 November 2007

30 Years of Lightsabers and Stormtroopers

30 years ago in a cinema not exactly that far away,
Some guy named George released a silly space flick
Its special effects were pretty good for its day,
Even though its dialogue is still basically shit.

The hero was a goody-two-shoes who liked to look at suns
Who bought an golden robot that jabbered a lot,
The heroine wore white and had hair that looked like buns
And gave a mission to a beeping trash can robot.

There was a rogue who shot first and flew a hamburger,
His spaceship's hyperdrive was always in a mess.
The rogue's best pal was a walking carpet with scruffy fur.
Who tore the arms off people who beat him at chess.

Vader was the bad guy that the heroic rebels fought,
He wore black armour and some weird black helmet thing,
Vader could crushed throats with a mere thought,
But his voice sounded like an asthmatic lion king.

The Death Star is a place filled with countless dangers,
It captured our heroes' ship with a tractor beam.
It contained a vast army of elite Stormtroopers,
Who couldn't shoot straight to save their skins

The heroes rescued the princess from her prison cell,
And escaped the Death Star aboard the hamburger,
But Darth Vader turned up and caused them hell,
killing Old Man Ben with his red lightsaber.

From a crappy base on god-forsaken Yavin
The rebels fought the danger coming their way.
Luke flew into battle in a cool-looking X-Wing,
Using the Force he managed to save the day.

The movie later spawned two other sequels,
My favorite was the one with that gold bikini.
Then George made another three prequels,
But they sucked because the hero was too whiny.

So here's to that little movie called Star Wars,
That gave a new hope to all us geeky boys.
Without it we would never have any cause,
To spend all our money on comics and toys.

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