Thursday, 20 December 2007

The 2007 Eyeris Movie Awards: The Biased, Made-Up But Cool Awards

I'm gonna wrap up this year's movie awards with a whole mess/jumble of awards that I just made up and hurried through with the winners because I'm too lazy to do more and add to it. Will probably revisit the post to polish it up later, but then again, knowing me, maybe not.

And of course it's bias. I'll be only 'voting' movies that I saw and like, so the hell with those I didn't see. So THERE!

Anyway, on with the Awards!

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The "Read: Not a Transformer" Award for Coolest Human Hero:

1) Jason Bourne
2) Captain Jack Sparrow
3) King Leonidas


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The "coughbiasedcoughPixarcough" Award for Best Animated Feature:

1) Ratatouille
2) The Simpsons Movie


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The "ONE SHALL STAND AND ONE SHALL FALL!!!!" Award for Movie with the Most Geek Out moments:

1) Transformers (watching them transform onscreen made me feel like I was ten all over again...)
2) 300 (It was almost like the graphic novel come to life...)


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The "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" Award for Best One-On-One Fight:

1) The Bourne Ultimatum - Jason Bourne vs Ahmed the Asset (Most brutal and kickass fight this year!)
2) Transformers - Optimus Prime vs Bonecrusher (Optimus whipping out that sword was just WICKED)
3) Harry Potter & The Order Of The Phoenix - Voldemort vs Dumbldore (The movie may not be very memorable, but the ending certainly was)


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The "WHOOOOAAAAAA!!!!!" Award for Coolest Scene in a Movie this year:

1) Transformers - Every single time a Transformer transformed onscreen
2) 300 - The part of the battle where the heavy metal riffs kick in
3) The Bourne Ultimatum - The Waterloo Station scene


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The "I Use These Phrases To Impress Chicks All The Time" Award for Best Quote:

1) I was elected to LEAD, not to READ. (President Schwarzenegger, The Simpsons Movie)
2) THIS IS SPARTA!!! (King Leonidas, 300)


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The "DIE BAD GUY DIE!" Despicable Villain:

1) Dolores Umbridge (Harry Potter & The Order of The Phoenix) - her voice is so squeaky and annoying I wanted to throw my precious coffee at the screen
2) Theron the politician (300) - "You will not enjoy this" must surely be the most despicable line uttered in a movie this year


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The "Somebody Shoot That Guy" Award for most Annoying Character:

1) Agent Simmons the Annoying Sector Seven Agent (Transformers)
2) Riley Poole the annoying geek (National Treasure: Book of Secrets)


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The "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GODDAMNED ENDING??!???" Award for Worst Attempt at Adapting a Novel:

1) The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising
2) The Golden Compass
3) I Am Legend


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The "WTF IS THAT???" Award for Most Unintentionally Stupid Scene in a Movie:

1) The bloody Calypso aka. Attack of the 40 foot sea goddess (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End)
2) Harrier Jet Vs John McClane's truck (Die Hard 4.0)

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The "ARGH I CAN'T GET IT OUTTA MY HEAD!!!!" Award for Most Catchy Song in a Movie:

1) Spider-Pig (The Simpsons Movie)
2) All You Need Is Love (Across The Universe)


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The "Welcome Back, We've Missed You" Award for Best Comeback in a Movie:

1) Captain Barbossa (Pirates of The Caribean: At World's End)
2) John McClane (Die Hard 4.0)

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