Tuesday, 25 December 2007

One Predator + Lots of Aliens = Lots of Dead People!



Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
Aliens vs. Predator 2
Whatever.
Not a Review.
Bloody movie.
Literally.
THIS is what an AVP movie should be about.
LOTS OF VIOLENCE!
BUCKETS OF BLOOD!
ENDLESS GORE!
MINDLESS ACTION!
WHOOOO!



FACE HUGGERS!
TWO DEAD PEOPLE!
LOTS OF KELEFEH ALIENS!
WITH LOTS OF ACIDIC BLOOD!
LOTS OF DEAD PEOPLE!
ONE KICKASS PREDATOR!
WITH LOTS OF AWESOME WEAPONS!
MORE AND MORE DEAD PEOPLE!
ONE PREDALIEN!
WITH COOL DREADLOCKS!
EVEN MORE DEAD PEOPLE!



NO STORY!
NO LOGIC!
JUST LOTS OF KILLING!
SLICE 'EM!
DICE 'EM!
BLOW THEM UP!
PUNCH HOLES THROUGH THEIR SKULLS!
MELT THEIR HANDS OFF!
BLUE STUFF!
BLEW UP!
KA-BLOOIE!
RACK UP THAT BODY COUNT!



Oh look, Bob Marley got reincarnated as an Alien.
Altogether now,
"No Ripley, no cry...
All, humans must die!"
All humans are inconsequential.
Haha DIE JERK DIE!!!
Eh that chick looks a bit like Ripley.
Just a bit.
Now get her a power-loader godammit.
AND bring on a third AVP!



PS: Oh, and Merry Christmas to you too, peace on Earth and all that. May no Aliens eat you.

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