Brawl and Son Meet Moo Cow

Yes, I'm way too busy to blog right now, and I will be out of the country AGAIN today and tomorrow... Regular blog transmission will resume when I get back...

Eyeris and the Mysterious Trail of Red

The Dinobot Recruitment Drive

Book Review: Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows (J.K.Rowling-in-it)

It's not the weekend, but what the heck. Better get this out before I kill myself trying to think of better things to write about it.

Oh, and don't worry.

NO SPOILERS HERE

--------------------------------------------------------



Title: Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows
Author: J.K. Rowling-In-It

Synopsis:
What, you actually need a synopsis? Ok fine. Last book in the Potter series, Boy Wizard growing up and needs to get laid, and Evil Wizard trying to kill him and take over the world. Boy Wizard and his annoying friends need to find some stupidly-named Horcrux thingies that will conveniently kill Evil Wizard when destroyed.

What I Liked:

• SNAPE.
• Pretty exciting in parts
• Ahhhh... so that's what it's all about.
• Better than the last two books but that's not saying much.
• It's over! Finally! Or at least it damn well better be...
• Some nice touches here and there
• The ending.... not too bad.

What I didn't Like:

• NOT. ENOUGH. SNAPE.
• WTF's a 'Deathly Hallow' anyway?
• Hairy Putter is ANNOYING.
• Reads like it was written with movie in mind
• Simple storyline, overdone execution
• Still about 200 pages too long
• Some parts damn draggy and pointless.
• ..... is this still supposed to be a children's book?
• Some parts damn corny
• The ending... not too good either.
• Final chapter... urgh.

Summary:
After all that hoo-haa about the book being sold or not being sold, spoilers popping up all over the internet and massive queues of suckers lining up at 5am to get a bloody book that could be lifted off the shelf with minimum fuss later in the afternoon and bought with minimum queueing involved, I have to say that the book is really not worth all that hype.

The first thing I said to myself after finishing this book was, "WHY the hell do I keep getting suckered into reading and finishing this crappy book within one day of its release?". The answer: A combination of kiasuness, the fear of spoilers on the Internet and of course, the urge to have something to blog about. Shoot me now.

IMHO, what was initially a brilliantly simple and fun concept that spawned a really fun children's fantasy story in the first three books has become an extremely mediocre, long-winded and overindulgent series of books that could have been so much better in the hands of much better writer.

Take The Deathly Hallows for instance. 600+ freaking pages, which is about 200 pages too much, I reckon. It's amazing how a simple 'fantasy quest' story of Harry Potter going after the Horcruxes could become such an overwrought and complicated mess in Rowling-in-it's hands.

Sure, you could argue that Tolkien took about 2000 pages too long to throw a damn ring into Mount Doom, but that's beside the point. The point is, at least the songs and parties the Hobbits had with Tom Bombadil were hell of a lot more imaginative than Harry Pooper screaming, complaining and emoing over and over again.

At least LOTR felt as if you were in another world. THIS one however, reads almost as if Rowling was already imagining the MOVIE'S set-pieces in her mind, with 'money shots' all over the places, and action set-pieces just cropping up in each location the characters visit (speaking of which, she also seemed to be on a mission to cram every single location, character, monster and obscure spell that was ever mentioned in the previous 6 books into this one, and the way some of them crop up is just bloody out-of-place).

As for Potter himself, the guy is probably at his most unappealing EVER in the last three books, what with him screaming and emoing and complaining all the time. Even RON is more fun than Harry now. I'd like a whole book dedicated to Snape though. He's probably the only character that Rowling created that actually had a little bit of SOUL in him.

There ARE some good points of the book though. At least things are all tied up now. Everything is explained here (in the most textbook and unoriginal way), SOME set pieces are actually pretty exciting (even if you could already picture it unfolding on the movie screen in coming years), and best of all, the final book in this godawfully long-winded series is finally done.

My main gripe, ultimately, is that the potential of the series and the character was spoiled by the over-hyped success of the book, resulting in Rowling becoming more and more self-indulgent with each book. Eventually, this completely destroyed the simple concept and the magically innocent spirit of the story, which was what made the first three books so enjoyable in the first place.

Anyway, now that the series is done, I have only this to say: Good riddance. Now people, move on to better books, PLEASE.

Be a Sucker. Watch The Simpsons Movie. You Know You Want To.

The Simpsons!
MOVIE!
Not-A-Review.
TV can watch free, why you go pay to watch this?
WE'RE SUCKERS!
HA-HA!
Don't be late ok?
Got damn farny part in beginning.
20th Century Fox....
TututuTOOOO! TututuTOOO!
Homer! Marge! Lisa! Bart! Maggie!
Moe! Krusty! Milhouse! Flanders!
Mr Burns! Apu! Itchy! Scratchy!
Arnie! Tom! Green Day!
YELLOW WEE-WEE!!!!
HA-HA! HA-HA! HA-HA!
HA-HA! HA-HA! HA-HA!
HA-HA! HA-HA! HA-HA!
HA-HA! HA-HA! HA-HA!
HA-HA! HA-HA! HA-HA!
WHOSHAGOODPIGGY??????
Wah not bad hor, the censors never cut those scenes.
I bet they don't understand.
Dammit, kenot reveal my favorite parts,
Because will spoil punchline.
D'OH!



Anyway, it's quite EEEEXCELLENT lar.
So of.
Quite funny lah.
Reminds me of a certain TV show.
Oh wait, it IS a TV show.
D'OH!
I still prefer the South Park movie though
That one really laugh until stomachache.
This one got laugh,
Got stomachache also.
(But caused by mutton curry breakfast).
But a few WTF BOOOOORING scenes.
And so many scenes saw in trailer oledi. Sien.
Boob Lady WTF.
Still damn funny.
Still a lot of laughing.
But TV show more laughing lar.
But then again the TV show already 18 years.
Now only got movie apara.
Jokes all use up oledi I think.
ANYYYYWAY.
It's SIMPSONS lar.
So you KNOW you want to watch it.
So go watch it.
Go on, be a sucker too.
You know you want to.
HA-HA!
Sequel?

Protesting Bookstores and Potty Suckers

Before I start the post, here is a public service announcement:

This post is a SPOILER FREE ZONE, and... ALL YOU

BLOODY DUMBASS IDIOTIC MORONS

POSTING SPOILERS OR WOULD-BE SPOILERS ON PPS, DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT YOUR BOOKS JUST GO HELL AND THEN DIE.

Ahem.

Anyway... I was going through PPS today and saw this title in one of the pings: What! No Harry Potter being sold at the big 4?

Hmmm... intriguing. So, apparently MPH, Times, Popular and Harris won't be selling Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows because some stupid hypermarkets are selling it at RM69.90 even though the retail price is supposed to be RM109.90.

Bookstore chains refuse to sell Potter book

Four major bookstore chains -- MPH, Popular, Harris and Times -- have confirmed they will not sell Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows in protest against selected hypermarkets being given hefty discounts to sell the book.


Hmmmm... intriguing. I have to say, I'm really admire their stand on this. After all, the Hairy Putter book is probably gonna be THE biggest bestseller this year, and they stand to lose A LOT by not selling it. (more on this subject below)

I wonder why Borders and Kinokuniya never follow suit also? Then again, those two stores probably have invested way too much money in the marketing of the book to pull out now. After all, look at what Kinokuniya had in The Star today:

How to get your free copy

Not only are they telling you that you have to be the first 13 people to get there, they are ALSO telling buyers that the KLCC doors ONLY OPEN AT 5am so all you SUCKERS who want a free book or JK Rowling-in-it's signature so BADLY can go camp outside the carpark RIGHT NOW because if you wait until 5am only go there SURE got a lot of KIASU Potty Harrers lining up there already.

Me? Well, OF COURSE I'm gonna read it. It's ME - the Kiasu Hype Sucker - after all, and besides, I reckon I better read it ASAP before all those spoilers start showing up....

However, I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay bloody RM100 for the damn book or line up at 5am just to get the damn thing.

-----------------------------------------------

UPDATE: 10:43pm

I suppose I really should elaborate more on the subject, judging from the first comment I got...

I actually support the bookstores whole heartedly. In fact, I think that someone should step in and stop the hypermarkets from undercutting the prices of their books by such a high margin.

The reason Carrefour and Tesco can sell stuff at such low prices is because they buy things in bulk; AND they don't rely on the books to survive.

Selling the books at such a drastically low price will affect bookstores which operate at a much higher cost, and RELY on the sale of the books to survive.

In the end, if this goes on, the bookstores won't be able to sell their stock, and result in them running at a loss, and eventually, shutting down operations.

At least that's MY take on it. anyone care to elaborate further?

--------------------------------------------------------

UPDATE: 1am, 21 July

Of course, after all I've said, I'm not buying this book anyway, so what the hell am I complaining about right? Hehe.

Besides, the only reason the whole broohaha came up is because it's Harry Bloody Potter, and suckers are buying into the hype and willing to fork out RM109.90 for the hardcover version.

You think Tesco and Carrefour would sell other hardcovers for THAT cheap a price ar (or even any hardcovers at all), if it wasn't a sure-fire guarantee that their stock would habis within a week?

Anyway, after all this blows over, we can all go back to Tesco and buy cheap beer...

So Long Radcliffe, Meet Optimash Potter

Yes, it's sacrilege, I know (for Transformers fans I mean, I couldn't care less about Harry Potter fans), but I've got further plans for this whole Harry Potter meets Transformers thingy... stay tuned... :D

See John McClane. See John McClane Not Die.

Die Hard 4.0
Not a Review.
Not even the actual title.
But better than that Live Free or Die Hard shit.
Yes, a bit late I know.
So sue me.
Oooo Maggie Q. HOT HOT HOT
DROOL DROOL DROOL
Eh the bad guy walk like pondan only.
Hackety hackety hack hack.
KABOOM!
Oh no, geek in trouble!
John McClane to the rescue!
BOOM! BAM! RATATATATATAT!
BAM BAM!
System shutdown! CHAOS! PANIC!
What lar these drivers,
Traffic light sot a bit only all accident.
Mesti bukan Malaysian drivers lar tu.
SCREEEE! BAM! CRASH!
See John McClane drive.
See John McClane kick butt.
See John McClane not die.
See John McClane get pissed off:



No bullets? No problem!
Just use a car!
WHEEEE! CRASH!
KABOOM!
BANG BANG!
SCREEE! CRASH! BANG!
RATATATATAT!
Enough of that kungfu shit!
BIFF! POW! HEADBUTT!
Eh, how the hell he got that SUV to the 4th floor?
WHEE! BOOM! CRASH!
YAAAA hoo hoo hoooo
Kevin Smith! DUDE!
Eh, I think I have that action figure too...
Hackety hackety hack hack.
GO GET HIM MCCLANE!!!!
BANG BANG! BIFF POW!
CRASH! KABOOM!
Hey, isn't that Optimus Prime???
Oh no, Starscream is attacking Optimus!
Save him, John McClane!!!
BOOM! CRASH! EJECT EJECT! WHEE!!!!
BIG KABOOM!
Bad hacker! BANG BANG!
Ok I'm tired.
Too much action.
Watch until I damn exhausted
Headache.
Sleep.
Yippe Kay Yay, motherf***ers!!!

The Magical Final Book Renegade

Because there are certain books that you just cannot resist grabbing off the shelf the minute you see it:



Screw Harry Potter. THIS is the only 'final book' worth paying full hardcover price for this year.

And yes, it's got that 20% discount tag at Kino. Woohoo!

Picking Up Bones From The Void of House Heroes

In between waiting for Heroes and House MD to get on with their new seasons, I've had nothing to watch but Transformers Generation 1 cartoons.

Then I caught one episode of the first season of Bones that is showing on StarWorld now, and I was intrigued by the show. I then borrowed the entire first season of the show from a friend, and watched the pilot over one weekend. After that episode, I watched another. And another. And another.

Now I'm going out to buy the second half of the second season because I. Can't. Stop. Watching. It.



If you donno what Bones is about, it goes like this: The show is loosely based on the work of real-life forensic anthropologist Kathy Reichs. the main character is Dr Temperence Brennen is a (hot) anthropologist who helps the FBI; or rather, one particular FBI called Seeley Booth (That Angel dude); solve murder cases by analysing the remains and bones together with her team of scientists, namely her genius but socially inept assistant Zack, the dirt, bugs and slime expert Hodgins (the coolest dude on the show); and the pretty artist and computer expert Angela.

The first season had a dude who is an expert in symbols, but I guess they thought he was pretty useless (which is true), so they replaced him with a sexy pathologist instead in the Second Season.

For more info, go Wikipedia lar.



Why do I like it? Well, for one, the cases themselves are pretty standard CSI-like stuff, but it's the cast that makes this show so much more fun. The combination of Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz (yes, that Angel dude) is actually pretty good, and they play off each other very well. Kinda reminds me of Mulder and Scully at times. Heck, even the supporting cast is cool, especially Hodgins, who is this weird, fun-loving 'Mythbusters'-like dude who loves nothing more than to pick up girls and play with slime.

Oh, and Emily Deschanel is HOT. Ok, her character may have the social skills of a pile of bones and and goes around with a perpetual frown and dead-pan look, but she is HOT. And I like her smile. So there. :D

Ok, off to the DVD shop I go then....

The Muggle Helpline for Distraught Potterheads

Potter Helpline (PH): Hello, this is the Hairy Putter Helpline, how may I assist you?

Distraught Potter Fan (DPF): HELP! HERRO!! I vely the kan ciong now! The last Hali Potter book coming out liao! I very the tension now!!!

PH: Don't worry sir, you are in good hands. What is the cause of your anxiety?

DPF: Haiyah you know lah. Last time hor, I lead that Orlar Of the Feenik hor, somebody tell me that somebody die in the end wor! So I quick quick go and buy the book and read fast fast so nobody can spoil the ending for me. Mana tau, that stupid bugger SMS me halfway and tell me who die oledi! I so geram!

PH: yes sir, but that was two books ago. What is the cause of your despair now?

DPF: Now ar? Now I scare because the last time I lead that Haf-Butt Plince book, but I forgot what happen oledi. Donno kena jampi or what, suddenly after I lead that book hor, I forgot what I lead liao. I only know who the half-blood plince is, and who die in the end, everything else I donno liao!

PH: Ah yes. That is a very common ailment called crapreadaphobia, which began shortly after the Order of the Phoenix was released. It is caused by books that are overly long, heavy, and have so much pointless material that it causes readers to suffer temporary amnesia after reading them.

DPF: AIYOR liddat ar? Then how to cure har? I scare I donno the story in the number six book, after I cannot enjoy the number seven book leh!

PH: Normally, this ailment can be cured by merely watching the movie based on the book. Studies have shown that sufferers of crapreadaphobia caused by the last two Harry Potter books have managed to cure half their illness by watching the recent movie.

DPF: Eh, but the movie for the Half-Butt Prince not yet out wor. So how????

PH: Ah well, I suppose you shall have to reread the book then. Or else, if you wish to be spared that torture, you may purchase a 'Harry Potter for Dummies' book, or check Wikipedia. Failing that, just forget about the story in the Half-Blood Prince, and just read the next book. Nothing happened in that silly book anyway.

DPF: Oh liddat ar. Oklor. Eh, I got one more problem.

PH: Yes, how else may I assist you?

DPF: I keep leading on this Interweb hor, saying that the Hairy Putter sure die lar, LonLon sure die lar, Hamihami sure die lar... I scare lar. Now I scared to lead the book lar.

PH: Ah yes. The OMGHARRYPOTTERDIESWTFDOIDONOW Ailment. Unfortunately, I am unable to help you right now, because to do so would give out spoilers as to whether Harry Potter survives the final book. However, if you ask me, Death would be a mercy for him I'm afraid. For a fate worse than copyright infringements and pirated E-books awaits Harry if Ms Rowling wants to continue milking the poor fella until he is dry...

DPF: So how now?

PH: Well, since I cannot help you until you actually know who dies in the last book, then I suppose you shall have to call back later... AFTER you know if Harry survives The Deathly Hallows. Thank you for calling this hotline. To pre-order the final Harry Potter book, please dial the following sequence - Hash, G-I-V-E-J-K-M-O-R-E-M-O-N-E-Y - after the beep . Remember, don't be a muggle!

*BEEP*

Oookiooki toink toink.

Bleh Toink Toink.
Oookiookipoopoo toink
Fulamakopocot toink toink fooh
Yataka toink bleh fulamatoink
Ook ooki ook ook.
Toink Toink bleh.

Wakin' Up to The Artiste Formerly Known as Emil

If there is one singer I wish would come LESS often to Malaysia, it's Emil Chau. Oh sorry, is he called Wakin Chau now? Whatever.

You know, that jolly-looking happy-go-lucky Hong Kong-born (thanks lisa for the correction) Taiwan-based dude with the overly happy smile who sings all these HAPPY and CHEERFUL songs like Peng You (Friends), Hua Xin (Flower Heart, literally), Ming tien Wo Yau jia Gei Ni (Tomorrow I Want To Marry You), Ai Xiang Sui (Love Follows) and so on.

Don't get me wrong, I like the guy. I love his songs. Heck, I grew up listening to him, and his songs are almost synonymous to all those good times I had as a kid. If a movie were made about my life, his songs would be the background music for almost every childhood scene I had. The happy ones, of course.

Somehow, after all these years... he is STILL around. And he keeps coming back to Malaysia for concerts.

Normally, I wouldn't mind so much, because Chau IS a class act, he is a damn good entertainer, a great singer, his rapport with fans is great and thus his live performances are always fun to watch. But even... please lar, don't have to come back EVERY YEAR right?

I remember the first time I went to his concert, way back in.... 1997 I think it was. It was great. It was fun. I had a blast. Since that first concert, I've gone to see him perform another three times over the past few years. So now I guess I'm just tired of seeing him live already. Hehe.

Oh, the guy is still good, and the performances are still happily fun. But I guess there is only so much of Chau's cheesy (but still happy) smile that I could take. Or maybe it's because he keeps singing the same old songs over and over again, because let's face it, after his peak in the 90's his new songs have not exactly been very memorable. So all fans want when they go to his concerts are those same old songs.

And this Saturday I'm gonna have to do it all over again. Gah. why can't Muse come to Malaysia over and over again? Now THAT is a concert I'd go to over and over again and not get bored...



------------------------------------------------------------

Update (16 July): Ok fine, it WAS a pretty cool concert. Bring on the sixth time I say.

A Celebration of Future Coffee Overdoses

Coffee overdose right now. Already had one cup of coffee this morning, then just now after lunch I bought a two-shot espresso Carmel-By-The-Sea from San Francisco Coffee, and now my eye is twitching because I think I drank it too quickly.

Ysterday I heard the best news ever in my recent coffee-drinking career (ceh wah, career kononnya):

SF Coffee is opening a branch in CP Tower, just next door to my office!!!!! YAY!!!!

*Jumps around*
*Waves flags*
*One-hand Mexican wave*

Yay, now I don't have to drive to Ampang Point or KLCC to get my regular supply of coffee beans, I can just walk across the road and get them. And I can get them to deliver the coffee to my office too! Woohoo!

Oh, BTW. it's San Francisco Coffee's 10th anniversary this year.

Yes, TEN YEARS. So long already hor? When I first started buying coffee from them 6-7 years ago, they only had a few branches here and there. Now they've got branches in Japan, Hong Kong, Phillipines and Singapore. Not bad for a franchise that started out in Malaysia, huh?

Anyway, their coffee is still better than anything the OTHER coffee franchises come up with. Meaning their drinks actually taste like COFFEE, unlike the coffee-flavoured sugar water/ice drinks served at a certain coffee place that a certain kid-bullying blogger likes.

So, to celebrate the 10th anniversary of my favorite coffee place, let's all sing the Eyeris Coffee Song!!!!

Coffee... I like to drink, COFFEE!!!
La La La...

Ahem.

Anyway, apparently there's gonna be some big Merdeka thingy happening in SFC, and one of the prizes is gonna be TWO YEARS FREE COFFEE. I want.

Oh, I also saw them havink some kind of Merdeka celebration gift pack with some special Heritage Blend coffee beans (not bad actually, not too strong either), a shotglass (which I kinda like, though I'd probably use it for vodka instead of espresso...) and a mug (a really big one) I think.



Yes, the Orang-Utan is for sale also. Quite cute actually. Especially if you stuff it in a mug...

PS: No, I'm not paid to write this post. I just like the coffee there. Hehe.

Multiple Viewings Of Incredibly Cool Movies (and then some)

People keep asking me, "How can you watch Transformers so many times? Don't you get sick of it?"...

Well, this isn't the first time I've watched a movie three times or more in the cinema. Consider these other movies (some which are a little dubious, I know...):

• Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King = 7 times (because it's my favorite epic movie EVAR!)
  
• The Incredibles = 6 times (because it's the most fun Pixar movie EVAR, and I kept bringing people to watch it)
• Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers = 5 times (The second time was one day after I'd watched it the first time. I kenot tahan, had to watch again, so I went to Amcorp Mall to watch, bad sound be damned)
• Transformers = 5 times (so far. planning to watch again maybe this week hehehe)
• Finding Nemo = 4 times(because before The Incredibles, this was my favorite Pixar movie)
• Titanic = 4 times (it sucks, I know, but at least I watched it with a different girl each time. heh)
• Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring = 4 times (would have been more if I hadn't been so broke at the time)
• Spider-man 2 = 4 times (it's still my favourite. The first I only watched once, and the latest I didn't bother watching a second time.)
• The Matrix = 4 times (because it was LE COOL. I wanted a trenchcoat to wear to classes)
• Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge of The Sith = 4 times (Hey, it's the LAST one)
• Meet Joe Black = 3 excruciating times (Don't ask.)
• Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl = 3 times (still the best of the pirate movies, and the most fun one)
  
• Cars = 3 times (because it's PIXAR and it got more fun with every viewing)
  
• Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace = 3 times (it was the first Star Wars in AGES. And that Darth Maul lightsabre fight was to DIE for).
• Star Wars Episode II: The Attack of the Clones = 3 times (in POLAND of all places)
• X-Men = 3 times (Because it's the X-MEN, and Wolverine rocks)

There are a few more movies on the list, like V For Vendetta (3 times), 300 (3 times), X-Men 2 (3 times) and so on... but I'm too lazy to elaborate.

So why do I watch these movies so many times? Well, remember how you wish you'd watched the Star Wars trilogy (the badass originals, not the dumbass prequels) on the cinema instead of RTM2? Remember how ecstatic you were when George Lucas came up with the Special Editions of the original Star Wars trilogy?

Let's just say that I reckon that cool movies like Star Wars, Transformers, LOTR come along only once in our lifetime, and I want to be able to watch it on the big screen as much as possible before it finishes its run and I'll be stuck forever watching it on Star Movies or TV3, and wishing that I cold watch it on the cinema screen just that one more time.

It's more fun that way. hehe.

Mind you, these numbers only count the times I've watched these movies in the CINEMA mind you. If I wanted to count the times I've watched on DVD/airplanes/Astro etc etc, then ROTK and The Incredibles' count would go past ten.... But I can't be arsed to sit through Titanic or Meet Joe Black again though...

Cheap Transformer Thrills For Intelligent Personnel Only

I got this the other day.



It's supposed to be a press kit, but what a cool-looking package eh?

And look what it says on the cover...



OOOOOOOH!!!! I'm an 'intelligent personnel'! Must be because I studied IT.

Hmmm... I wonder if it has a piece of Scorponok or Blackout.

Excitedly, I opened the package, and this was what I saw:



Bah.

But wait, this two things look cool:



A pendrive and a pen. how exciting right? But there's more than meets the eye to that pen..... it Transforms!!!!

(which I shall now demonstrate in glorious cheapskate Eyeris step-by-step picture style. No, I don't do video, sorry).



Yes, cheesy, but cool. I couldn't stop playing with it after I took it out.

I give this new-found 'Transformer' the name.... Penticon.

Obviously, with such name, he can only be a Decepticon.

Anyway, look, the calculator transforms as well!



Since it's pretty much usless as a fighter, and tranforms into a calculator of all things (at least Jason Bourne could use a pen to stab people with. What's a calculator gonna do, count its enemies to death?); I reckon this thing is an Autobot.

I tried to come up with a name for him, but all I could think of was Numbot. Lame, I know.

But then again, he DOES look pretty lame:



Yes yes , you've probably seen these cheesy Made-In-China stuff being hawked by little salesmen with black sling bags in food courts, but do theirs have the words 'TRANSFORMERS' on them?

And besides, there are only two sets of these kits in Malaysia. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yes, I enjoy cheap thrills, so sue me.

Making Money From Dreaming Books of Magical Renegades

No, this post isn't about making money. Go away.

It's about books.

This one, I just bought:



And I'm waiting impatiently for:



Oooh, and look what's coming in September....



Synopsis (from Amazon.co.uk)
It's an offer you can't refuse. Who would not to wish to be the man in charge of Ankh-Morpork's Royal Mint and the bank next door? It's a job for life. But, as former con-man Moist von Lipwig is learning, the life is not necessarily for long. The Chief Cashier is almost certainly a vampire. There's something nameless in the cellar (and the cellar itself is pretty nameless), it turns out that the Royal Mintruns at a loss. A 300 year old wizard is after his girlfriend, he's about to be exposed as a fraud, but the Assassins Guild might get him first. In fact lot of people want him dead Oh. And every day he has to take the Chairman for walkies. Everywhere he looks he's making enemies. What he should be doing is ...Making Money!


I'm busy now. Maybe later I'll update more.

Harry Potter and The Movie that is Better Than The Book

Harry Potter 5
The Order of the Phoenix.
Not a review.
A few MINOR MINOR spoilers though.
Nothing that would spoil the movie for you.
Besides, haven't you read the book already?
Anyway...
Movie better than the book.
WAAAAY better than the book actually.
But that's still not saying much.
Since the book wasn't very good in the first place.
But yeah, go David Yates.
Took best parts of the book and put it in here.
Got rid of all the 10000 pages of unecessary scenes that Rowling had,
Which she left in because she kononnya no need an editor.
But the movie still a bit so-so only.
Because the story in the book was blah in the first place.
After watching this, you'll regret you wasted your time reading the book.
I can't remember a single thing about the book.
Except that Harry shouted a lot.
He shouts a lot here too.
So angry, tsk tsk.
Wizards these days.



Now I know what's been missing from the series so far.
A good old wizard-on-wizard smackdown.
Made for a kickass ending.
Too bad about the beginning and the middle though.
Talk talk talk, shout shout shout.
Walk walk walk.
Talk talk talk samore.
Let's form an army yeah!
Train train train.
BOOOORING.
Get on with it already.
Oooo! KISS KISS KISS!
Shout shout shout
Boo Umbridge Boo hisss boo.
Fight fight fight.
What was that round thing for again?
Er...
Don't remember anything else about the movie.
Yeah. Really.
Can only remember the characters, not the scenes.




Umbridge damn Annoying Annoying Annoying.
Wanted to stand up and throw coffee cup at the screen,
Kept thinking, "Somebody crucio her already!"
Because couldn't tahan her squeaky voice and laugh.
And that condescending attitude.
She's actually a more despicable villain than Voldemort.
She reminds me of my secondary school teachers.
Ministry of Magic reminds me of our gomen. Eheh.
I liked Lovegood though
She was good. Loved her.
Very floaty floaty.
Reminds me of Delirium.
Poor Cho Chang.
Twins rock.
Ron and Hermione a bit diketepikan though.
Helena Bonham Carter rocks.
Snape rules.
Voldemort in a suit is creepy.
DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE!
This movie proves my theory.
That the books are getting suckier
But the movies are getting better.
If you not yet read the book, don't bother.
Go watch the movie better.
You'll waste less time.
No, really.
Or go watch Transformers. Again.
Hehe.

Hairy Putter and The Unusual Turn of Events

The Official 'Number of Times Eyeris has Watched Transformers' Counter: 5 AWESOME times

Ok, let's take a break from Transformers for a while, and come back to it later (I got a post on some movie merchandise I wanna post later hehehehe.)

So. Now what? Why Hairy Putter, of course.

July is the month of Potties, as the movie is coming out next week I think; and the last book is coming out also on July 21.

Now, it is my honest and personal opinion that Harry Potter is one of the strangest franchises in pop culture history.

The first three books (before Rowling decided her writing was too good to be edited) were actually really good reads - addictive, entertaining and fun at the same time.

The last three books however have been monotonous bores with a story that could and should have been pubilshed in half the number of pages, instead of the dictionary-like 100000 pages that they turned out to be.

Now, let's take a look at the movies then. The first two, directed by Chris Coloumbus, were plain boring and suffered from trying to stay TOO true to the books (and failing miserably). The third, directed by Alfonso Cuaron, was a lot better, and is still, IMHO, the best one of the lot (loved the ending).

Which brings us to the Goblet of Fire and the upcoming Order of the Phoenix. If the directors of these films had decided to go the Colombus route and stayed through to the book, we'd have a 12-hour bore that had nothing but Hogwarts kids sitting around eating and whining.

Fortunately, Goblet of Fire was actually pretty entertaining, and judging by early reviews of Order of the Phoenix, that one is pretty decent also.

So now, we have the strange situation of a franchise that started out well as books but had sucky movies; but has gradually turned out to have some pretty ok movies that are based on sucky books.

And now that Rowling-In-It is finally ending the series (kononnya lar, I bet she'll write another one, a prequel or something set in the same 'universe'), I find myself increasingly uninterested in the book, and more fascinated in how the movies will pan out.

After all, after the rather boring and uninspiringly messy Half-Blood Prince, and the way it ended (which makes me think that the last book will be some kind of quest to get all the Horcrux's or whatever they are called, and nothing more), I reckon she's right to finish it off at seven. Heck, I'm even hoping she DOES have the guts to kill of Harry Potter himself, just so we KNOW that it's the end for sure (well, maybe).

So, why am I talking about Harry Potter all of a sudden? Well, because I'm gonna be watching Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix TOMORROW. BUAHAHAHAHA!

Why Transformers Sucks But I Still Watched It Four Times.

Because the movie ain't perfect, of course it ain't.
Because it's MICHAEL SUCKY BAY
Because I figure if anyone's qualified to criticise the movie, it's the guy who's already watched it four bloody times in the cinema, and going for a fifth time tonight at IMAX! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, yeah, the movie ain't perfect. But if you haven't seen it yet, you might wanna stop reading right now, because there be spoilers in this post and even though any spoilers are irrelevant because there really is nothign to spoil anyway... well, you get the drift.

Anyway, here's what I actually didn't like about the movie:

• Not. Enough. Robots!
• Too many puny meat creatures!!! Wasting precious screen time!!!
  
• Bloody Linkin Park song at the end.
• Not. Enough. Autobots!!!
  
• Parents. Very. Irritating. Ironhide should have taken them out.
• Sektor Seven dude very annoying. Bumblebee should lubricate on him more.
• Not. Enough. Decepticons!!!
  
• What's the hacker chick and the fat hacker there for? Frenzy should have wiped them out in bunker. (Hacker chick quite hot though)
• DEVASTATOR??? It's supposed to be BRAWL, you morons! (apparently it WAS supposed to be Brawl, but thre were errors in the movie continuity editing subtitles and stuff, and it got mistakenedly called Devastator instead.)
• You Decepticons die so easily!
  
• JAZZZZZZZ! Why's it gotta be JAAZZZZZZ!
• You call THAT a plot? The CARTOON MOVIE had a better story!
• You call THAT A final showdown between two of the most POWERFUL Transformers???
• You call THAT an ending?

That said, it's still an AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME movie (yes I did that to annoy you again, vincent, ahaha). Like Fireangel in an Optimus Prime helmet says, it's worth watching over and over again just to catch those AWESOME transformations, AND to see that magnificently-rendered chunk of metal that is Optimus Prime.

Heck, it's worth the price of the ticket just to watch that sequence where the protoform comets land on Earth, to the first sighting of Optimus, and when all the Autobots transform at the same time for the first time. Now THAT is cool. It really IS easily a hundred times cooler than Armageddon.

Seriously, I have not had this much fun in a cinema since.. since... The Incredibles, and that was almost three years ago!!! And I also haven't geeked out so much in a movie since the Lord of The Rings, and THAT was AGES ago!!! (Star Wars prequels you say? PAH.)

Besides, it's a summer popcorn blockbuster movie. By bloody MICHAEL BAY. It's supposed to be mindless fun and action. What the hell are you people going around analysing the plot lar, characters lar, the flow lar... just go watch it, have some mind-blowing awesome FUN FUN FUN!

Gaiman and a Golden Rat Overshadow a Hairy Putter

The Official 'Number of Times Eyeris has Watched Transformers' Counter: 4 times


It's officially the second half of the year! And what a way to finish off the first six months of the year - with the coolest movie in YEARS: Transformers!

Problem is, now I have nothing else to look forward to this year. My life is now empty... Maybe I should go watch Transformers again to fill that void.

Oh but wait, there ARE some things to look forward to. Movies, books... yup, post-Transformers life ain't so bad after all.

HAve I not mentioned the word 'Transformers' enough yet? No? ok. Transformers, Transformers, Transformers, Transformers, Transformers, Transformers. Now go watch it. You know you want to.

So, what's been good so far this year? Transformers, of course (hey there's that word again). And 300. Those two movies are definitely the coolest and my favorite films so far this year. Then there's Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, which i liked but everyone else hated. Shrek3, Spidey3 all sucked though. Though I kinda liked TMNT and Ocean's 13.

Anyway, here's what I'm looking forward to watching next...


Ratatouille (I can't believe its out in DVD already. Those pirates damn efficient leh... Me? I'll wait for it to come to the cinema. I detest people who are too cheap to go to the cinemas to watch movies.)




Stardust (Gaiman! Gaiman! Gaiman!)




The Golden Compass (Armoured bears! Woohoo!)




The Simpsons Movie!!!! (Doh!)



I'm also waiting for The Bourne Ultimatum (Get ready for all sorts of 'Bourne Again' headlines in the papers); plus I haven't even seen Die Hard 4.0 and Fantastic Four (which I heard is not so fantastic, but what the hey...). And no, KI'm not looking forward to Hairy Puttr 5. I'll watch it, but I'm not looking forward to it...

As for books, hopefully George R.R. Martin and Robin Hobb will publish their next books this year as well... and of course, the next.... TERRY PRATCHETT book!

JKR Rolling? Hairy Putter? Who's that?