Monday, 31 December 2007

Eyeris' Quick-Fire 2007 Recap: Books! Books! Books!

It's the last day of the year! *muttersofastmutteriwantmyyearbackmutter* And since I've missed an entire week here at the blog to recap the year, I think I'll do it in one day instead!

So here now, in a the first of maybe more Quick-fire Best Of 2007 Post(depending how far I go before I get bored), is the books post!

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Favorite Books I've Read (Doesn't necessarily have to be PUBLISHED in 2007...):



1) The City of Dreaming Books (Walter Moers)
2) The Temaraire series (Naomi Novik)
3) The Night Watch (Sergei Lukyanenko)
4) The Good Fairies of New York (Martin Miller)
5) Lady Friday (Garth Nix)

Honourable mentions: Making Money (Terry Pratchett), Rumo (Walter Moers)


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Favorite Graphic Novels/Comics I've Read this Year:

1) Ex-Machina
2) Y: The Last Man
3) Bone

Honorable Mentions: Transformers: Escalation, Lost Girls (hur hur), Civil War, 300


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Best Book-Related Things to Happen in 2007:

1) BooksXCess, Amcorp Mall, 3rd Floor.
2) Kinokuniya became even bigger
3)Finally! Harry Potter has ended! Now we can all get back to reading books that are actually worth reading!


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Worst Book-Related News of the year:

1) Terry Pratchett Being Diagnosed with Alzheimers
2) Robert Jordan passing away
3) JK Rowling-in-it trying to milk publicity for Hairy Putter by announcing that Dumbledore is gay.

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Favorite Malaysian Book Blogs:

1) Sharon Bakar (still the numero uno book blog in Malaysia!)
2) Ixaquasa Muses (because she loves Pratchett too!)
3) Ted Mahsun (because he thinks the I Am Legend book was better too)

Tuesday, 25 December 2007

One Predator + Lots of Aliens = Lots of Dead People!



Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
Aliens vs. Predator 2
Whatever.
Not a Review.
Bloody movie.
Literally.
THIS is what an AVP movie should be about.
LOTS OF VIOLENCE!
BUCKETS OF BLOOD!
ENDLESS GORE!
MINDLESS ACTION!
WHOOOO!



FACE HUGGERS!
TWO DEAD PEOPLE!
LOTS OF KELEFEH ALIENS!
WITH LOTS OF ACIDIC BLOOD!
LOTS OF DEAD PEOPLE!
ONE KICKASS PREDATOR!
WITH LOTS OF AWESOME WEAPONS!
MORE AND MORE DEAD PEOPLE!
ONE PREDALIEN!
WITH COOL DREADLOCKS!
EVEN MORE DEAD PEOPLE!



NO STORY!
NO LOGIC!
JUST LOTS OF KILLING!
SLICE 'EM!
DICE 'EM!
BLOW THEM UP!
PUNCH HOLES THROUGH THEIR SKULLS!
MELT THEIR HANDS OFF!
BLUE STUFF!
BLEW UP!
KA-BLOOIE!
RACK UP THAT BODY COUNT!



Oh look, Bob Marley got reincarnated as an Alien.
Altogether now,
"No Ripley, no cry...
All, humans must die!"
All humans are inconsequential.
Haha DIE JERK DIE!!!
Eh that chick looks a bit like Ripley.
Just a bit.
Now get her a power-loader godammit.
AND bring on a third AVP!



PS: Oh, and Merry Christmas to you too, peace on Earth and all that. May no Aliens eat you.

Monday, 24 December 2007

Fanning Some Interest in Gaiman's Coraline

Neil Gaiman's got a nice little sneak peek at the animated adaptation of his children's book Coraline on his blog (Click on the image to go to the clip):



This version of Coraline is definitely cuter than Dave McKean's version of Coraline, that's for sure:



Besides Dakota Fanning's voice as Coraline, there's also Ian McShane, Teri Hatcher, Jennifer Saunders, Dawn French in it as well. And if the rest of the movie keeps the atmostphere of the last bit of this clip, this might actually be worth watching when it comes out next year. IF it even comes to Malaysia, that is...

PS: I've reviewed the book HERE before...

Friday, 21 December 2007

Awww Crap. ANOTHER Movie I So Wanna Watch Next Year...

Just saw this new trailer for some big summer movie next year. What movie? Let's take a look, shall we?

Is it Dragon Tiger Gate II?




Is it Pan's Labyrinth II: Revenge of The Super Pale Man?




Is it the Human Torch spinoff of Fantastic Four?




Is it the long-longed-for Elric movie?




Is it a bad remake of the Fellowship of the Ring?




Why of course not. And it's not even some top secret thingy like Cloverfield:




Awww hell. as if you didn't guess already... it's THIS guy's movie:




Oh yes, BIG RED is back, and so are his friends!




Sure, it looks a bit like Pan's Labyrinth meets Elric meets Lord of The Rings, but hey, it's HELLBOY, and he's fighting a whole lot of monsters:




PLUS, he's upgraded his weapons from the already huge Samaritan:




To THIS Big Baby:




There's a whole lot of kungfu, monsters and even Abe Sapien doing some breakdancing:




So what are you waiting for? Click the picture below to go watch the new teaser trailer for HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY now!!!




Altogether now... AWWW CRAP!

Thursday, 20 December 2007

The 2007 Eyeris Movie Awards: The Biased, Made-Up But Cool Awards

I'm gonna wrap up this year's movie awards with a whole mess/jumble of awards that I just made up and hurried through with the winners because I'm too lazy to do more and add to it. Will probably revisit the post to polish it up later, but then again, knowing me, maybe not.

And of course it's bias. I'll be only 'voting' movies that I saw and like, so the hell with those I didn't see. So THERE!

Anyway, on with the Awards!

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The "Read: Not a Transformer" Award for Coolest Human Hero:

1) Jason Bourne
2) Captain Jack Sparrow
3) King Leonidas


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The "coughbiasedcoughPixarcough" Award for Best Animated Feature:

1) Ratatouille
2) The Simpsons Movie


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The "ONE SHALL STAND AND ONE SHALL FALL!!!!" Award for Movie with the Most Geek Out moments:

1) Transformers (watching them transform onscreen made me feel like I was ten all over again...)
2) 300 (It was almost like the graphic novel come to life...)


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The "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" Award for Best One-On-One Fight:

1) The Bourne Ultimatum - Jason Bourne vs Ahmed the Asset (Most brutal and kickass fight this year!)
2) Transformers - Optimus Prime vs Bonecrusher (Optimus whipping out that sword was just WICKED)
3) Harry Potter & The Order Of The Phoenix - Voldemort vs Dumbldore (The movie may not be very memorable, but the ending certainly was)


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The "WHOOOOAAAAAA!!!!!" Award for Coolest Scene in a Movie this year:

1) Transformers - Every single time a Transformer transformed onscreen
2) 300 - The part of the battle where the heavy metal riffs kick in
3) The Bourne Ultimatum - The Waterloo Station scene


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The "I Use These Phrases To Impress Chicks All The Time" Award for Best Quote:

1) I was elected to LEAD, not to READ. (President Schwarzenegger, The Simpsons Movie)
2) THIS IS SPARTA!!! (King Leonidas, 300)


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The "DIE BAD GUY DIE!" Despicable Villain:

1) Dolores Umbridge (Harry Potter & The Order of The Phoenix) - her voice is so squeaky and annoying I wanted to throw my precious coffee at the screen
2) Theron the politician (300) - "You will not enjoy this" must surely be the most despicable line uttered in a movie this year


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The "Somebody Shoot That Guy" Award for most Annoying Character:

1) Agent Simmons the Annoying Sector Seven Agent (Transformers)
2) Riley Poole the annoying geek (National Treasure: Book of Secrets)


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The "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GODDAMNED ENDING??!???" Award for Worst Attempt at Adapting a Novel:

1) The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising
2) The Golden Compass
3) I Am Legend


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The "WTF IS THAT???" Award for Most Unintentionally Stupid Scene in a Movie:

1) The bloody Calypso aka. Attack of the 40 foot sea goddess (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End)
2) Harrier Jet Vs John McClane's truck (Die Hard 4.0)

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The "ARGH I CAN'T GET IT OUTTA MY HEAD!!!!" Award for Most Catchy Song in a Movie:

1) Spider-Pig (The Simpsons Movie)
2) All You Need Is Love (Across The Universe)


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The "Welcome Back, We've Missed You" Award for Best Comeback in a Movie:

1) Captain Barbossa (Pirates of The Caribean: At World's End)
2) John McClane (Die Hard 4.0)

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

WARLORDS! TONIGHT WE DINE IN NANKING!!!!



The Warlords.
投名狀.
Not a Review.
Because Fireangel said so.
Not a wushu film.
Which is good or else no Jet Li.
No flying flying fighting,
No slow-mo flying daggers,
No bamboo forest fighting.
None of that shit here.
All bloody violent.
All kill kill brutal brutal
YAARRRR DIE DIE DIE DIE kinda battles.
Damn awesome.



Eheheh, Jet Li look like a mushroom in that armour.
His acting improve A LOT though,
And he still can kick everyone's ass.
Andy Lau's Mandarin also improved oledi,
Oh wait, I don't think that's his voice.
Takeshi damn blur.
Like can only see in black and white.
Like puppy dog following the two leaders around only,
Woof! Woof!
Ish, actress not hot also.
Where's Zhang Ziyi when you need her?
Some parts a bit slow also.
But who cares?



Whole story about brother brother kinda thing,
A lot of emo and fighting.
Like...
HEY BRADER!
KILL! KILL!
SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR GREATER GOOD!
You stab him then I chop off his head ok?
Then we go chop off some more heads
And slash some legs,
Then after we win the battle we emo a bit lar,
Then you can go screw your girlfriend in the middle of a siege.
And then after that we go and KILL EVERYONE!
TONIGHT WE DINE IN SUZHOU!!!

Peter Jackson The Hobbit Returns to Middle-Earth!!

We now interupt your initially scheduled Eyeris Movie Awards post for probably the best news out of Middle-Earth we've had in ages:



Peter Jackson to Produce The Hobbit and Sequel

Academy Award-winning filmmaker Peter Jackson; Harry Sloan, Chairman and CEO, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. (MGM); Bob Shaye and Michael Lynne, Co-Chairmen and Co-CEOs of New Line Cinema have jointly announced today that they have entered into the following series of agreements:
  • MGM and New Line will co-finance and co-distribute two films, The Hobbit and a sequel to The Hobbit. New Line will distribute in North America and MGM will distribute internationally.
  • Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh will serve as Executive Producers of two films based on The Hobbit. New Line will manage the production of the films, which will be shot simultaneously.
  • Peter Jackson and New Line have settled all litigation relating to the "Lord of the Rings" (LOTR) Trilogy.

According to the report the TWO films – The Hobbit and its sequel (eh, since when was there a sequel to the Hobbit? Do I hear the fanboys screaming SACRILEGE?) – will be shot simultaneously like the three LOTR movies.

They're starting pre-production ASAP, and hoping to release The Hobbit in 2010! Woohoo! Finally, something to REALLY look forward to!!!

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

No Country For Old Darjeeling Because Persepolis is Not There

Here are four un-blockbuster-like movies that the more delusionally discerning side of my pop-culture obsessed mind would like to watch:



Why? Because:

1) It's Wes Anderson
2) It's supposedly better than Ratatouille
3) It's the Coen Brothers
4) It's Bob Dylan

Monday, 17 December 2007

Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?

No Name....




No other alias....




Clothing is custom...




Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint...




Let's put a smile on that face.




WHY.




SO.




SERIOUS?




It's all part of the plan....



The Dark who?????

Friday, 14 December 2007

The 2007 Eyeris Movie Awards: The Sexiest Women in Movies This Year!

On with the Awards! And now, in the spirit of giving, I shall dish out the Hubbahubba Awards For Sexiest FEMALE actresses in movies this year. You want the Sexiest MEN? Go make your own list.

Oh, and all awards are given out based on my personal tastes in women (so of course I'm bias towards my favorite actresses *cough*DianeKruger*cough*) AND based on the movies I've watched only, so if your favorite chick isn't on the lists, it's probably because 1) I didn't watch her movie; or 2) I didn't l. Like I said, go start your own list lar....

I'm not gonna include pictures for EVERY category here, because I'm damn lazy to go look for them, so I'll just take the pictures from what I already have on my PC... hehehe.

And no nude photos either, sorry to disappoint all you perverts who come here from Google after searching for nude pictures of Angelina Jolie...

Oh, and as usual, since this was done in a rush, I'll probably be adding more categories/names/pictures into the list when I think of /remember more later...


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The "Va Va Va Voom" Award for Single Sexiest Moment in a Movie in 2007:




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Top Sexiest Babes in Movies in 2007:



  • Megan Fox (Transformers)
  • Tang Wei (Lust, Caution)
  • Diane Kruger (National Treasure: The Book of Secrets)
  • Lena Headey (300)
  • Maggie Q (Die Hard 4.0, Balls of Fury)
  • Monica Belucci (Shoot Em Up)
  • Eva Mendes (Ghost Rider)
  • Jessica Alba (Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer)
  • Michelle Pfeiffer (Stardust)
  • Katherine Heigl (Knocked Up)

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The "Why Did She Sign Up For This Again?" Award for The Waste of a Hot Actress in a Forgettable Movie.
  • Jessica Alba (Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer)
  • Angelina Jolie (Beowulf)
  • Maggie Q (Balls of Fury)

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The "She Was In That Movie???" Award for The Most Chronic Lack of Screentime For A Hot Actress:

  • Salma Hayek (Across The Universe)
  • Rachel Taylor (Transformers)

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The "I Like The Way You Hold That Weapon hur hur" Award For Being able to Kick Ass AND look Sexy At the same time:
  • Keira Knightley (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End)
  • Milla Jovovich (Resident Evil: Extinction)
  • Maggie Q (Die Hard 4.0)

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The "You Light Up This Movie" Award for Cutest Smile:
  • Kuai Lun Mei (Secret)
  • Diane Kruger (National Treasure: The Book of Secrets)
  • Claire Danes (Stardust)

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The "Young & Old" Award for Sexy Witches Who Don't Look Their Age:


  • Michelle Pffeifer (Stardust)
  • Emma Watson (Harry Potter & The Order Of The Phoenix)

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The "This Is Still a Family Blog" Award For Best Nude Scene I Wish They Had Not Censored:
  • Tang Wei (Lust Caution)
  • Monica Belucci (Shoot Em Up)
  • Lena Heading (300)
  • Olga Kurylenko (Hitman)

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The "OMG I Can't Concentrate on Anything Else" Award for Best Use Of a Hot Actress's Cleavage in a Movie:


  • Diane Kruger (National Treasure: The Book of Secrets)
  • Jessica Biel (I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry)
  • Eva Mendes (Ghost Rider)
  • Monica Belluci (Shoot Em' Up)
  • Megan Fox (Transformers)

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The "Is That Supposed to Be Sexy??" Award For Most Unsexy Supposedly Sexy Moment in a Movie:
  • The Fake Naked Angelina Jolie (Beowulf)
  • Olga Kurylenko's bad-girl makeup (Hitman)
  • Maggie Q teaching a fat fart how to play Ping-Pong (Balls of Fury)