Wednesday, 9 January 2008

American Gangsters Rock, But Are No Match For Squeaky Eric Tsang

American Gangster.
Not a review.
Pretty damn good movie.
Two hours plus plus,
But didn't feel a thing.
Veyr engrossing,
I kept wanting to see what happens next,
And the acting also pretty damn good.
And the censors seemed quite liberal too,
Left most of it intact,
MOST being the operative word here.

Denzel rocks.
Warm and fuzzy family guy one minute,
Cold-blooded and angry killer the next.
I wouldn't want to get on his bad side.
He could kill me with a LOOK.
Crowe not bad either.
But not as much as Denzel rocks.
If Denzel rocks, then Crowe stones.
Though not literally.
Lots of other characters stone,
But not Crowe.
Chick not bad looking either.
Cleavage rating: 7 out of 10.

Oh, and well done, censorship board,
For cutting out the F-Words but leaving (some of) the boobs.
What, the boobs too flat for you?
Then again it could have been worse.
They could have cut out almost every other scene,
Drugs scenes, violent scenes,
Sex scenes, nude scenes,
plus all the swear words...
Then we'd have a montage instead of a movie.

I'd love to see a showdown between all the great mob bosses,
Frank Lucas, Frank Costello, Vito Corleone...
And er... Eric Tsang.
Vito would throw horse heads at everyone,
Costello would try to confuse the rest with an Irish brogue
Lucas would just shoot them in the head.
But my money's on Tsang.
He'd squeak the rest to submission,
And THEN put a bullet through their heads.

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