Tuesday, 15 January 2008

Depp + Burton + Music + Cleavage + Lots of Blood = Sweeney Todd

Sweeney Todd.
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
Not a Review.
Lots of blood!
Lots of songs!
Some cleavage too.
Burton is obsessed with Helena's cleavage.
Like the blood.

Johnny Depp rocks.
No, he doesn't sing rock.
Yes I know he had a rock band.
But that's not what I meant.
I mean, he sings, but not rock.
No, he rocks, he just doesn't SING rock.
In this movie I mean.
Ahh whatever.
His singing not bad actually.
And he is one scary barber.
I'm not letting another razor like that near me throat.
I'd slit me own throat first,
Rather than let a damn barber do it for me.

Woohoo Ali G!
Eh wait, or is it Borat?
It's Borat in Italian!
Or is it an Italian Ali G?
Alan Rickman is despicable.
He is very good at being despicable.
He is despicably good at being despicable.
I hate him for making us hate him so much.
And being so good at it too.

The songs are awesome.
You HAVE to listen to the lyrics,
The lyrics are EVERYTHING.
The lyrics are AWESOME.
Especially the ones where Depp AND Helena are singing.
Forget the fact that he is breaking out into song,
Even as he is slitting someone's throat.
Just LISTEN to the lyrics.
And have a jolly good time doing it too.
I vote this the most enjoyable yet bloody movie ever.
Music, blood, Depp and Burton.
Musicals don't get better than this, I'm afraid.
Disagree with me and I'll slit yer throat with a STAPLER.

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