Friday, 25 January 2008

Rambo: Lots and Lots of Blood Part IV



Rambo 4.
or John Rambo.
or Rambo: To Hell and Back.
oh Whatever Part 4.
Not a Review
Sequel to Rambo: First Blood
Rambo: First Blood Part II
Rambo III (Not called More Blood)
They should have called this one Rambo 4: Lots and Lots of Blood
Heck, I tell ya, Rambo ain't a franchise,
He's a freaking institution!



No plot.
All RAMBO.
AWESOME
All we want is MINDLESS VIOLENCE.
LOTS OF BLOOD.
LOTS OF DEAD BAD GUYS.
LOTS OF EXPLOSIONS.
HEADS BLOWN APART
LEGS SHOT RIGHT OFF
INTESTINES SPILLING OUT,
And SO ON.
All sorts of ways to die,
And very high body count.
Someone should watch it in slow-mo,
And count how many people died exactly,
And HOW EXACTLY they died.
(Apparently, someone already did...)



Hey, it's that chick from Dexter.
Not much of a cleavage though.
Cleavage Rating: 2.5
(She doesn't show any, but plus points for having boobs in the first place)
I miss that FREAKING HUGE RUSSIAN HELICOPTER
That he blew up with a BAZOOKA in Rambo II.
This one got no helicopter also.
Only a kickass sniper rifle.
I guess he didn't have enough budget.
It's Sly's own movie after all.
Directed it himself and all.
Must have bankrolled it with all that money he got
from guest-starring in Las Vegas.



That Rambo above ain't the Rambo in this film.
Sly Stallone ain't the same as before.
Oh, he's still ugly.
But last time go shirtless and all,
Got muscle muscle all.
Now he keep shirt on at all times.
Which is a good idea.
He probably doesn't have six-pack anymore.
And has boobs instead.
So if he took off his shirt,
I'd have to give him a Cleavage Rating too.
And it'll come to about -500.



Yup, Confirm. He's still ugly.
And to think Fireangel wanted to PAY to watch this...
.....
...
-_-"""

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