Thursday, 21 February 2008

There Will Not Be Much Blood But a Lot of Daniel Day-Lewis



There Will Be Blood.
There will Not be a Review.
There will not be any gunfights,
There will not be any swordfights.
There will not be any decapitations.
There will not be any limbs getting chopped off.
There will not be that much blood in the first place.
There will not be any dialogue for the first 20 minutes.
There will only be Daniel Day-Lewis.



There WILL be A LOT of Daniel Day-Lewis.
There will be Daniel Day-Lewis mining,
There will be Daniel Day-Lewis talking,
There will be Daniel Day-Lewis covered in oil,
There will be Daniel Day-Lewis looking scruffy,
There will be Daniel Day-Lewis in a mine-hole,
There will be Daniel Day-Lewis in almost every scene.
There will hardly be any scene WITHOUT Daniel Day-Lewis.
There will be an Oscar for Daniel Day-Lewis.



There will be more oil than blood.
There will be a lot of talking and preaching.
There will be religion.
There will be sounds and no sounds.
There will be an eerie Jonny Greenwood soundtrack,
There will be creepy religious fanatism,
There will be enlightening moments.



There will be yawning
There will be a lot of fidgeting too.
There will be a lot of annoyed Ah Bengs in the cinema.
There will be a lot of question marks,
There will be a lot of people wondering what it was about.
There will be a lot of complaining about the slow pace
There will be a lot of fawning over it by critics,
There will be a lot of Oscars for it.
But there will not be a repeat viewing for me.



Previous Movie Not-Reviews in 2008:
- ET Meets Stephen in CJ7
- Rambo: Lots and Lots of Blood Part IV
- It's Huge! It's Alive! It Destroys Stuff! It's the Cloverfield Monster!!!

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