Tuesday, 1 April 2008

How To Be a Straight-A Student: An Expert Music Guide

I had an epiphany recently. I finally realised the reason I was never a very good student in the past.

You see, I've never gotten any Straight-As, I never got 100 markah, and I certainly never got on the Dean's List, Honors List or whatever list-list there was. HEck, the only subject I was good in was English, and that was because everyone else sucked even more than I did.

Anyway, like I was saying, I finally realised the reason I never got Straight-As last time. It was the MUSIC I listened to when I was studying!

You see, I used to listen to REALLY LOUD MUSIC whenever I studied (which wasn't very often, mind you, hehehehe) - mostly rock music or Beyond or something like that - and even today, I can't work without my iPod blasting loudly.

But then, I discovered THIS CD:

OMG, music to study to! Relaxing Moods For Students to Counter School Stress! You mean there is actually music that can relieve your studying stress? NO WONDER LAR I so stress last time when I study! And there I was thinking that the 'stress' I was feeling was because I actually didn't understand what I was trying to memorise!

Wow! Let's try it and see if the music can help relieve work stress as well. So, this is what I did:
  1. Doo di doo... pop CD into laptop.
  2. Listen to first song.
  3. Nearly fall asleep
  4. Skip to next song.
  5. Start hallucinating that I'm in an elevator.
  6. Sod it for a lark and tries out the 2nd disc (yes, there are TWO CDS!!!)
  7. Repeat steps 2-5.
  8. Skips to third song.
  9. Start yawning.
  10. Check CD Listing and get another epiphany:

WTF. Check out Disc Two, Song number 3.

FALLING ASLEEP??!!??!??? Why the hell would I want to listen to something called FALLING ASLEEP that actually DOES make you fall asleep, when I should be STAYING AWAKE trying to STUDY or WORK?

And what the heck is 'BETWEEN THE SHEETS'? Is this music to study to or to have sex to lar? Haiyor.

What kind of music IS this? It's as though some people decided to compile a whole double disc of the most boring, sleepifying elevator music EVER, and sell it to suckers who actually think that the music they listen to will actually help them to study better.

Heck, even READING titles such as 'Lullaby of Tranquility' and 'Peaceful Dreams' is enough to make you wanna yawn. Yes, these are supposed to make you sleep so that you can 'counter exam stress', but still....

And as if inducing you to sleep when you should be studying isn't bad enough already, this CD may also have an EVEN WORSE side effect on you....

You could lose your ability to spell properly!

So much for making you a better student eh?

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