Friday, 30 May 2008

The Moscow Memoirs: Great Balls of Iron Inside The Kremlin

Yay! And back to Moscow we go!

This... is the Kremlin. As seen from outside its walls, at the Red Square.

That tower is called the Spasskaya Tower, and has nothing to do with kaya bread or anything. It's also known as the Savior's Tower and Gate, and is the most recognisable of the Kremlin's towers. No, really. I can't tell the OTHER towers apart, and there are about 20 of them altogether.

Here's a closer look:

Ok, enough of the tower. let's go inside, shall we?

This is a cannon inside the Kremlin:


that's the Czar's Cannon, and it's the LARGEST CANNON IN THE WORLD. It's so large that it's never been fired, and legend has it it was built to intimidate their enemies into giving up. Something like, "Yo you over there. My gun is bigger than yours. Give up already."

How big is it? Well, check out the size of the people standing next to it, and you'll have an idea how humongous it actually is:

HOLY GREAT BALLS OF IRON, BATMAN! Check out the SIZE of them! Like, "Yo you over there, I've got BIGGER BALLS than you do. Want a taste of em?"

And since we're on the subject of size, here's the biggest bell in the world:

Yes, that dude next to it IS standing next to it. THAT's how big this bell is. It weighs a whopping 200 tons, but it is now cracked and broken, so of course we never got to hear it toll. And this is the part that cracked:

That broken fragment alone weighs bloody 11.5 tons. Phew!

Ok, that's all for the Kremlin. No, really. Those were the most interesting parts. There WAS a lot more inside, but due to the fact that it was raining, I was rushing to go to the Luzhniki Stadium, I didn't get to see that much. Besides, it was mostly churches, cathedrals and so on anyway, so I can't be bothered to post all that here.

Next up, Russian booze! WOOT WOOT! HIC!

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