Thursday, 25 September 2008

The Dumbass Who Came Up With The Last 2 Minutes of Eagle Eye Should Be Banned From Making Movies



Eagle Eye.
Not a Review.
Hey you,
Yes you, the guy who came up with the last two minutes of this movie.
Go to hell.
You ruined an perfectly good movie,
By deciding to add those two, completely out-of-place minutes.
You should be completely banned from making movies.
Like, FOREVER.


(Shia's new Transformer buddy wasn't quite what he'd expected)

Oh don't worry, no spoilers here.
What am I talking about?
Let's just say this movie was pretty decent.
Fast-paced, action-packed, and thrilling,
Lots of good twists and turns,
But it was completely RUINED by that last two minutes I mentioned.
At least for me it was.


(Damn. No cleavage rating)

Don't let that stop you from watching this though.
The movie from start to finish was exciting.
Those last two minutes didn't ruin the film much.
It didn't stop the flow of the story,
(which was ok as long as you don't try to think too much about it)
It didn't interrupt the action (which was messy but decent)
And it had a GREAT ending.
Then came those two minutes.


(oh look, Shia's on the phone)

What those two minutes WAS, was deflating.
The movie was rising, rising, rising up till the climax,
Then suddenly with those two minutes,
Everything went FLAT.
I felt SOOOOO deflated.
Like a balloon full of excitement just popped,
And all the excitement inside just went ssssssssssss.... out.


(Hey, deja vu... he's on the phone again)

Anyway, enough about those two minutes.
The movie was pretty darn entertaining.
A pretty good thriller, with lots of BIG action.
It even managed to make you forget to be annoyed at Shia,
Who did a lot of running and talking on the phone.
And who actually wasn't as annoying as he was in Indy 4.


(Run away! CGI monkeys are about to attack!)

Sure, the car chases gave you headaches,
And everything was a mess of lots of running around.
But that chase in the airport was BRILLIANT.
Edge of the seat stuff.
And the technological premise is intrguing too.
Way better than that Will Smith Enemy of The State crap.
Now excuse me while I go smash up my cell phone.
.....
Ok maybe not.


(Wow this kid can really run...)

But GODDAMMIT whichever studio boss decided to tag THOSE completely out of place last two minutes into the movie should be banned from making movies FOREVER.

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