Thursday, 13 November 2008

I Bow Down To Your Supreme Intellectualism, Oh Great Defender of The Watchmen

Indeed! What's also sublimely stupid is a story like this one, where the writer clearly has no clue what Watchmen is really about, but is lobotomized by popular opinion enough to quote a million other hive-minded, so-called comic book fans in saying that the uniqueness of Watchmen is that it "is best-known for deconstructing the myth of superheroes, portraying them as people with flaws and weaknesses."
- excerpt from a highly intellectual film blog

Oh, how stupid I was, to think that such a complex story like Watchmen could be digested into a mere sentence. Oh, how clueless I was to think that merely reading it several times qualifies me to talk about the great book. Oh, how blinded I was by the simple pleasures of seeing a beloved text come to life on the big screen. Oh, how silly I was to hope that more people would be introduced to the wondrous tome that is Watchmen.

I bow down to your supreme wisdom. You have every right to slam the movie, and my description of it. YOU should have written the story, and give the movie the slamming it deserves, and made sure that no one watches it. And of course, educate the public on the wonderful and intricate complexities of the Great Tome. It's not just a comic book after all, right?

Besides, what is the point of simplifying the plot of a complex tome like Watchmen so that people who knew NOTHING about it could at least get a vague idea of what it is all about, and maybe, just maybe be interested enough to go get the book, or at the very least, watch the movie?

Of course not, who am I to let these ignorant numbskulls in, those who who did not know anything about His Hairyness The Great Alan Moore, and introduce them to his wonderfully intellectual stories?

No, his stories and books are only reserved for high-brow intellectuals such as yourself, who can read them, analyze and then be self-satisfied in your own incredible intellectualism and ability to read between the lines and read the mind of the Great Alan Moore. You are much, much better than us mere peasants after all, right?

Oh, woe to us who go to movies merely to be entertained, to be awed by simple pleasures like pretty girls and stunning special effects. Oh, how will we ever compare to you, who are so high on your pedestal of superiority, able to enjoy the complexities of obscure Hungarian art films.

Oh, how stupid I am to be such big fans of commercial crap like Lord of The Rings, Star Wars, and *gasp* WALL-E; failing to see that they are mere tools to sell merchandise to suckers like me, and don't hold a candle to superior works like Miyazaki's (whose Totoro dolls only grace the shelves in specialty shops, and not mass market crap stores like Toys 'R Us).

Who am I kidding? OF COURSE you think everyone else is stupid, and anyone who does not agree with your oh-so-intellectual highbrow artsy opinions are ALWAYS inferior to you. We are, after all, mere peons who are fascinated by mere shiny stones, pretty effects and the general 'coolness' of things. We lack the intellectual capacity to be awed by subtle references to much more profound subjects.

I bow down to your superiority, oh wise one. Please guide us through the temptations of next year's Watchmen movie, and help us see the error of our ways.

But I'm not giving up that Rorschach action figure though. No siree.

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