Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Not a review.
Turning... into... mush...
Can... feel... Cells... dying..
The agony! The pain!!!!
Are you female, and 16 or below?
Do you like stuff like High School Musical and Sweet Valley High?
Then you'll love this.
Otherwise, for the love of Dracula...
STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS.
Unless you want your brain to melt as well.
Spent more time rolling my eyes than watching it.
NO WAY IN HELL am I reading the book now.
Someone please slap that Edward guy.
Almost as kayu as Anakin Skywalker,
Who at least had a cool lightsabre.
Edward doesn't have the force,
But he could probably emo people to death.
Oh wait, he's "impossibly strong and fast" too.
Doesn't excuse the fact that he can't act though.
Oh, And if you thought Anakin's lines were bad,
You ain't seen this movie yet.
"You're impossibly fast and strong" (gee whiz, you think so?)
"I'd rather die than to stay away from you." (*rolls eyes*)
And the best...
"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." (and the reply... wait for it...)
"What a stupid lamb." (*brain melts into bubbling pool of fluid*)
Ok fine, I thought that Carlisle daddy vamp was cool.
Kinda like Bruce Wayne in a way,
Cool, calm, and waaaaay whiter.
Doesn't turn into a bat though. Damn.
And the baseball game was cool.
Though that was probably just the Muse song.
(Speaking of which, Thom Yorke ought to go kill himself)
(For allowing 15 Step to be in the movie)
Want a REAL, ADULT vampire flick?
Go watch True Blood.
Now THAT'S what I call a REAL blood-sucking show.
With lots of sex and violence,
AND Vampires doing more than just emo.
And best of all...
The True Blood vamps don't bloody SPARKLE.