Friday, 5 December 2008

Kayu Barada Nikto! a.k.a. The Day Neo Stood Still

The Day The Earth Stood Still.
Not a Review.
The Earth was not the only thing that stood still lor.
Keanu looked like he was standing still the whole time.
Even when he was walking, he looked like he was standing still.
Heck, even when he was running, he looked like he was standing still.
HE was THAT kayu.

Then again, Keanu has always been kayu.
Kayu is his middle name.
"Hi, I'm Neo/Klaatu/Keanu/Kayu"
The best impression of a wooden plank EVER.
But at least he still looks kayu and cool
Not like that Marky Mark guy,
Who looks kayu AND constipated.

I still love Jennifer Connelly though.
She's super hot.
This was a stroll in the park for her.
"Nothing hard, Jennifer"
"Just try to look distressed,"
"And look hot at the same time."

But OMG is that kid ANNOYING.
Almost as annoying as his dad in Shark Tale.
Like father like son eh?
Like, Jennifer, you're his MOTHER for gods sake
Like, slap him and make him shut up already, Jennifer.

Cool cool GORT
Poor GORT.
Reduced to THAT.
And not even a "klaatu barada nikto".
Oh wait there was.
But barely discernible. Bah.

Oh, the movie? Er.......
I felt like I'd seen the whole damn thing before.
Like they just recycled an old script,
Dusted out their old filming techniques,
All the same cliches, the same lines, the same expressions,
And the same old lousy ending.
It's just... a movie. That's it. That's the best way to describe it.
Just. A. Movie. Ho. Hum.

No comments: