Friday, 31 October 2008

A Quantum of Solace, A Measure of Seriousness



Quantum of Solace.
a.k.a. The new James Bond, 007 noobs.
Not a review.
It's BOND, noobs.
You know you want to watch it.
I know I did.
Came back one day early from Singapore just to watch it.
And you noobs have to wait till next week.
BUAHAHAHAHA!



There's the car.
There's the girls (for the guys)
There's Daniel Craig topless (for the girls)
But no Olga topless. DAMMIT.
Still not much in terms of gadgets,
But that is one hell of a theme song
(until the bridge, that is).



Damn that is one fine car chase.
And rooftop chase.
And boat chase.
And plane chase.
All also got.
Now all we need is a bicycle chase.
Cycle cycle cycle.... BANG BANG BANG!



But hor... what's with the bad guy?
Oklar he looks damn oily and snarky,
But then hor...
The bugger SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL.
Like, WTF is that?
AIEEE! hack hack hack.
AIEEEE AIEEE!!!! punch punch punch.
AIEEEE!
WTF.



Also hor... damn intense lor.
Damn serious lor.
Even more serious than Casino Royale.
Not a single wisecrack.
Got a few jokes, but very subtle.
What, they gave Bond a sense of humanity,
But took away his sense of humour?
And dude.. STATIONARY?
Duh.



And oooo, Olga.
I'm liking her more and more.
Cleavage rating, 7.5/10.
But it's the first movie I've seen,
Where she doesn't take her top off.
DAMMIT.
And what was Gemma there for?
Oh, that Goldfinger tribute.
I geddit. Teehee.



I liked Casino Royale more though.
It was more.... fun.
Less serious.
Chicks were hotter.
But at least the action here is AWESOME.
But I'm still upset.
Because Olga didn't take her top off.
DAMMIT.

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Rise of the Vampire Lovers. Ahk Ahk Ahk.

Vampires seem to be the rage now. Especially with kids. All of a sudden, it's cool to have pasty white skin, to suck blood, and not to kill mosquitoes. Blast those damn Twilight books. Blast you, Stephanie Meyer.

I toyed with the idea of getting the first book of the series at the MPH warehouse sale last week, but in the end figured that I would much rather spend that RM23 on TWO graphic novels instead. At least I won't have to put up with teenage angst AND vampire vegetarianism in one book. Which is ironic, because the graphic novel I bought in place of it had a fish guy, a pyrokinetic, a homunculus, a gasseous organism, zombies AND a plague of frogs to go with it.

But then again, vampires have always been cool. I guess. Heck, even Tom Cruise was one, though that movie was god-awfully boring. But then, I've never had an affinity for vampires. Dracula? Too tacky. Blade? Too Wesley. Maybe I hate mosquitoes too much. Or maybe I like vampire SLAYERS so much more than vampires that I keep wishing that Buffy would turn up and kill those bloodsucking pests once and for all before they emo everyone to death.

My favorite vampires have always been the kind that didn't brood very much, and just got on with business. To tell the truth, my favorite 'vampire' EVER - Count Von Count, doesn't even suck blood. He'd COUNT all those drops of blood, but I doubt he'd even so much a LICK 'em. "VARN drop of blood! TVO drops of blood! ARH ARH ARH ARH!"

I DO like the vampires in Discworld, as well as that comic where Batman turns into a vampire as well, but seriously, I could do with less blood-suckers in MY life, thank you very much.

As for vampire romance, as far as I'm concerned, the only vampire-on-chick action I've been REALLY interested in is that one in True Blood. You know, the one where Ann Paquin finally gets nekkid in. What, you mean you didn't know? Go watch the damn show already, damn it, or I'll put a wooden stake through you.

Monday, 27 October 2008

MUSICLARITY: How a Band Named Goo Inspired a Blog Named Eyeris

I've decided to sod the idea of having a separate blog of music, and just post all music posts here instead. God knows I already have enough trouble thinking up posts for this blog, let alone maintain ANOTHER one for music alone. I'll keep the old posts on Musiclarity up, but in future, all music posts will be posted HERE instead. Yes, including the links for 'acquiring' the songs. :D

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Iris is probably my personal favorite song, EVER. I love it so much I even fashioned my online nick after it. Take the song title, replace the 'I' with 'eye' for the 'cool' factor (it was also supposed to prevent people from thinking I'm a girl, which unfortunately never seems to work) and you get 'eyeris'. Not bad, huh?

Anyway, the reason I like Iris is not because I watched City of Angels, which I never have mostly because I don't like Nic Cage much. But anyway, the reason I love Iris is the combination of the melancholic melody, the soaring chorus, and my personal favorite part of it - the lyrics. It's one of those songs I can listen to over and over again (which I have been doing throughout the years), and still not get sick of it. Heck, I've even blogged about the same damn song countless times before too.

To me, the Goo Goo Dolls are one of those bands that I will always love, never mind that their new material has been pretty shoddy, to say the least. Their problem, IMHO? Iris was such a mega hit that they have since struggled to live up to that song's potential, choosing instead to wallow in similar sounding songs and albums.

They're hardly a one-trick pony - meaning they don't just do depressed, emo songs; but can also do some pretty good alternative rock. Long Way Down from the A Boy Named Goo album is one example, as was Name, which was their claim to fame before Iris.

But then Iris happened, and the rest, together with the band, was history. Dizzy Up The Girl was a fairly good album, with great songs, but after that their albums just faded into obscurity.

What a shame.

Acquisitions: Goo Goo Dolls - Iris (acoustic version)


DISCLAIMER:
All the mp3s available here are for sampling purposes only. So don't be an irresponsible pirate - if you really like the songs, be sure to buy the album also, ok? BTW, if you have a problem with the mp3s I've listed on the blog and want me to take them down, please email me at eyeriz@gmail.com, and I'll remove it at once.


A Half-Drunken, Free-Written Ode To Someone In Particular

I'd almost forgotten how it was like - to just sit, drink, and talk. With you. A proper conversation, with a proper friend, is like the best beer, or wine, or whatever floats your boat, which is also like the best kind of addiction. Maybe it's also the company, maybe it's the compatibility of the friends, or maybe, just maybe, it's because some people think so alike that even the songs they sing are the same. Like the sheer poetry of a Paul Simon lyric, like the feeling you get when Lightbody sings 'Have Heart, My Dear', it all seems so familiar, so warm, and so calming. It's just nice to have someone who understands what I say, without me having to explain it over and over again. And in a strange way, I understand you as well, even in that strange, motormouth way you say it that most people would not fathom but which I have no trouble understanding at all. You, may be the sum of different aspects of a single personality, capable of individual friendship but splintered when in a group, but that's just you. Sometimes you wonder if things had turned out differently, would it be all the same? But then, if you think about it, if things had been different, would we still be the same? Run, chase cars, crack the shutters on a hundred million suns. Life is but a Snow Patrol song, but when it all comes down to it, it does begin to get to me that sometimes you know more about me than I do. Sometimes. But isn't that what friends are for? If you didn't know me, who else would?

Friday, 24 October 2008

Watch Out, The Men Are Teasing You

Yep, it's a new Watchmen teaser poster. What did you think this post was about?



Ok, I'm a bit disappointed by the tagline. But at least the visuals are cool. And there's that smiley face.... AWESOME.

Thursday, 23 October 2008

Going Nuts at the MPH Warehouse Sale. Again.



Went a bit nuts at the MPH warehouse sale. Lots of good stuff around. Parking's a nightmare though.This is what I got. Too lazy to list them all out.

Graphic novels:



Other assorted good shit:



Also bought two Lonely Planet guides for Great Britain and Portugal, for only ten bucks. AWESOME.

What else was there? well...
  • Graphic novels / trade paperbacks for RM10-RM25 (it's not as extensive a collection as the last one, but was were still plenty of good stuff)
  • Hardcover novels for RM15
  • Tintin's for RM18 (this is practically a staple of every MPH sale)
  • Lonely Planet guides for RM10- RM50.
  • LOTR and Batman Begins visual movie guides for RM10
  • Complete 7-in-1 Narnia collection for RM15
  • Clive Barker's Abarat for RM10
  • Other assorted good shit.
Here's where it is. Two days left!

Ground Floor Warehouse
Bangunan TH (Opposite Dataran Hamodal)
MPH Warehouse
NO 5 Jalan Bersatu 13/4
Petaling Jaya

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

I Call This My Lazy Two-Week Holiday

Hi guys! I'm currently on a LOONG LOONG break from work, which explains why I've been to darn lazy to update this here blog. But if it's any consolation, at least I HAVE got lots to update about, just that I've been too lazy to do so. Ahahaha.

Ok, Lainie Style short snippets then.

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Dexter has been renewed for another two, 12-episode seasons. Which is good news because Dexter is brilliant. Let's hope they get another hot British chick to take her kit off though. This current season has been rather lean on the topless chick scenes.

-------------------------------------------

Quattro sucks dick. Some four seasons concept... Autumn feels like a sauna, You have to climb bloody three floors to get to Winter, Spring is just the terrace outdoors with a corridor that has SHOWERS coming on every hour, and Summer is just... tiny. Bah. But at least there was free booze and good company. All I need are those. Music? What music?

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MPH WAREHOUSE SALE! I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THE PREVIEW YESTERDAY!!! GAAAAH!

-------------------------------------------

Been double-booking a lot of my lunch and dinner appointments this week. wtf. Note to self... WRITE THEM DOWN or STORE THEM IN IPOD.

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Of all the shows I've acquired this week, there has been one REALLY brilliant one... VISIONARIES: THE KNIGHTS OF THE MAGIC LIGHT! WOOT! Ok, the animation is really crappier than I remember, and the jokes are still corny, but hey, its the VISIONARIES baby!

-------------------------------------------

Tropic Thunder is STILL funny even after al those cuts. But I'm still thankful I saw the full uncut version though. Rober Downey Jr. PWNS.

Monday, 20 October 2008

The Sickest Hand of Poker I've Ever Played

Sorry if you don't play poker, guys, but the final hand of last night's session was too incredible NOT to blog about it.

What happened was this... four players on the table left, one goes all in (that would be me), and the other three followed suit. And that's a REALLY big pot.

We all opened out cards, and this is what it looked like. Behold.... the sickest poker hand I have ever played:



(Clockwise, from bottom left:)

1) Vincent, who had the highest possible flush - five diamonds with an ACE. Ironically enough, it turned out to be the SMALLEST hand of the lot. Because...

2) I had FOUR BLOODY SEVENS. Which in case you didn't know, is bloody STRONG, beating even...

3) A FULL HOUSE - 3 sixes and 2 sevens; which the other player, Cam, had.

Long story short so far, Vince's flush was spanked by Cam's full house, which in turn was trumped by MY four sevens.

At this point, I thought I'd won, and was getting ready to rake in the chips. THEN my brother opens HIS cards....

4) Five, six, seven, eight, nine. All diamonds. A FUCKING STRAIGHT FLUSH.

Which basically DESTROYED everyone else, including MY bloody FOUR SEVENS. ARRRRGHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Now, is THAT a fucking great hand of poker or WHAT?

Friday, 17 October 2008

Up Up And Tease Away!

A new Pixar poster! *jumps around in glee*



Ah, blue skies and flying houses. What more could a poster need? (besides more boobs, that is. Hey, it's a family film ok?)

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New posts on Muziklarity!

Thursday, 16 October 2008

The Hottest Women on Eyeris' TV This Season

This one's for the guys. Do I really need to elaborate?

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Detective Dani Reese
(Sarah Shahi)
Life

Why she's hot:
She's hot lar. What for need to explain samore? If you have any doubt that she IS hot, go watch The L-Word as well. Woohoo.




------------------------------------------------------

Agent Sarah Walker
(Yvonne Strahovski)
Chuck

Why she's hot:
She's blond, she's nimble, she can kick ass, PLUS she looks really good in her underwear, a pantsuit, a litle black dress, a Wienerlicious uniform, and even a Princess Leia gold bikini. :D



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Cameron Phillips
(Summer Glau)
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Why she's hot:
Who needs Kristina Loken? She may not be everybody's cup of tit, and she IS A robot (hence the er... robotic acting), but hey, she's the best thing in the show (together with Lena Headey, of course) so far. Now I wanna watch Firefly please.

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Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan
(Tamara Taylor)
Bones

Why she's hot:
Didn't like her at first when she came on in the second season, but this particular season, she's looking a lot hotter than ever. Must be her cute little expressions and eye movements she has when she is talking to the interns/squints.


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Sarah Graiman
(Deanna Russo)
Knight Rider

Why she's hot:
Episode 1: Strips down to underwear. Episode 2: Goes undercover in bikini. What other reasons do you really need, eh?




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Dr. "Thirteen" Hadley
(Olivia Wilde)
House MD

Why she's hot:
Meet the new hottest doctor in Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Makes Cameron look like a blonde (oh wait, she IS A blonde). We don't know her full name, but we would really like to see more of her thank you very much.


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Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan
(Emily Deschanel)
Bones


Why she's hot:
She's the most endearingly cute socially-inept scientist on TV right now, and she has the cutest little crooked smirk. And no, the fact that I've actually interviewed her is beside the point. :D



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Dr. Allison Cameron
(Jennifer Morrison)
House MD

Why she's hot:
She may have less screentime, and has blonde hair now (probably so we won't confuse her with Thirteen), but she's still hot. But not as much as she was in the first few seasons, which is why she's so low down the list. But she's still hot.


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Natalie Boa Vista
(Eva La Rue)
CSI: Miami

Why she's hot:
I like Emily Proctor as well, but her voice is too whiny for my liking. Plus Natalie's cleavage is one of the few reasons I put up with Horatio Caine's posturing. Hur hur.



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Charlotte "Chuck" Charles
(Anna Friel)
Pushing Daisies

Why she's hot:
She's got a VERY VERY VERY VERY sweet smile, she is fun, she wears dresses that show off a lot of cleavage, PLUS she's actually really really nice in person. But of COURSE she's on the list.



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Hur-Hur-able Mentions:



Men? What men? There are men on these shows?

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

The Revival of Musiclarity

Yep, I'm reviving the music blog. Decided to just forget about direct downloads and use savefile instead. a lot easier that way.

AND I'm gonna change the focus of the blog a little. I think it was a little directionless, so I'm gonna narrow it down to a proper movie/TV music blog instead. And then some. But mostly music from TV and movies. Might even change the layout and name of the damn thing. And the URL too.

But that's for later. for now, go check out the new post on The Eye on Musiclarity (as it is known for now)!

Terminate Them Leaked Posters!

This poster leaked some time back, after Comic Con even, but now it's finally official.

Presenting... the teaser poster for Terminator Salvation a.k.a. Terminator 4!



SCAAAARYYYY. Now THAT is one poster I won't be hanging on my wall anytime soon....

Monday, 13 October 2008

Live Life. Love Life. Watch Life. Get a Life.



I love Life.
I love Life because I'm not reviewing it.
I love Life because it's worth watching.
I love Life because it gives me a reason not to have a life.
I love Life because it ain't short, like Californication.
I love Life because it's the best TV show this season so far.



I love Life because Charlie Crews is the coolest cop ever.
I love Life because Charlie Crews says the funniest things lines ever.
I love Life because Charlie Crews is not attached to his car.
I love Life because Charlie Crews is the only TV cop with a switchblade.
I love Life because Charlie Crews could TALK Horatio Caine to death.



I love Life because Dani Reese is the hottest cop on TV right now.
I love Life because Dani Reese is also an L-Word chick.
I love Life because Dani Reese looks cuter when perplexed than Bones.
I love Life because Dani Reese was on Maxim before (woohoo!)



I love Life because it's not here. This blog, it's not here either.
I love Life because Life Is Good.
I love Life.
So go watch Life.
Or go get a Life.
See if I care.

Friday, 10 October 2008

Watching Marky Mark Try to Act is A Major Payne



Max Payne.
Not a Review.
Fooyor it's MAX PAYNE!
MAXIMUM PAIN!
MAXIMUM CARNAGE!
MAXIMUM VIOLENCE!
MAXIMUM BODY COUNT!
MAXI... eh wait.
What the hell is this?



Why isn't anyone SHOOTING people?
Why isn't Max Payne KILLING people?
Why is he just walking around TALKING to people?
Where're the gunfights?
Where's all the KILLING?
And most importantly...
WHERE IS THE BULLET TIME?



And who's that wuss pretending to be Max Payne?
Isn't he some former underwear model?
What's with the constipated look, dude?
I know the video game Max looked the same,
But why do YOU have to look like you're in pain all the time too,
Instead of inflicting pain on others instead?



Marky Mark is still hands down the worse lead actor ever.
He was bad in The Italian Job,
He was horrible in The Happening,
And he's a real Payne to watch in this one.
Heck, even the CGI ANGELS were more charismatic than he did.



Hey, at least Keanu doesn't even TRY.
He KNOWS he's a plank,
And he plays one real well.
Marky Mark is also a plank,
But tries too hard,
And ends up looking like a more constipated plank.



But at least got Mila.
I love Mila.
She was the whiny one in That 70's Show.
Didn't like her then.
But after seeing her in Forgetting Sarah Marshall
I think she's really really hot.
And cute. And hot. And cute.
With a REALLY REALLY REALLY cute smile.



Oh look, it's Olga again.
First Hitman, now Max Payne.
What next, Doom? Quake?
Huh? James Bond? Oh.
But she didn't have much to do here.
All she did was look slutty, and take her dress off.
Hmmm... that's all we need her to do actually.
Hur hur.



But back to the movie.
Nearly fell asleep in the beginning.
NOTHING HAPPENED.
No shooting, no killing, no fighting.
Only got Olga taking her dress off.
For a movie based on a violent shoot-em-up,
This is unfortunately.... a real Payne in the ass.
(sorry, about the Payne puns....)


(THE REAL DEAL!)

Thursday, 9 October 2008

Nibbling On Nifty Nix News

I've been a bit slow on the book news front because.... well, I have to sheepishly admit that I haven't been reading all that much. Sighhh...

But no fear, let's try to correct that. Garth Nix is one of my favorite authors so far,and after reading on Lynn's blog that he is writing two more Old Kingdom books (this is REALLY old news, really, so old it should be called Olds instead of News; which goes to show how far behind I am about all things books) - Clariel: The Lost Abhorsen, which is the story of the young woman who eventually became Chlorr of the Mask; and an untitled second, which is a sequel of sorts to Abhorsen, in 2011.

That's of course, AFTER he completes the Keys To The Kingdom series with next year's Lord Sunday, of course. Can't wait to see how he wraps THAT one up.

Poking around his Amazon blog, I also saw the latest post advertising his new line of Abhorsen Bell Charms, which although look nice are er.. too girly for my liking.

All the bell charms are cast in sterling silver (.925 silver). There are three finishes which we are calling Bright (as it suggests, bright silver); Antique (a patinated effect on the silver); and Black Handle, as for evil necromancers (the handles of the bells are treated to become black). - from Nix's post.

Meh. Bracelets. PAAAASS. I'd love if he did a proper set of collectors item replicas of the bells though. Now THOSE I'd buy.

That's not all. Another bit of old news I've been meaning to blog about but always forgot is the progress of the SABRIEL movie!

Nix has some details of the film, which he is co-writing. The director will be Anand Tucker, who according to Nix is "the original director of THE GOLDEN COMPASS before he left over creative differences". I don't know about you, but any director who was smart enough to leave that shipwreck of a movie over 'creative differences' certainly gets MY thumbs up.

And what's this? Nix has also written a HELLBOY story, of all things? Hellboy + Mignola +Nix? Wow, I really need to go get Oddest Jobs now.

Ok, so that sorta wraps up the 'new' Nix news I have. Which is really good news, all the way. Unlike that bit about Eoin Colfer being signed to write another Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy book. Kill us now.

The WhinyBlogger Rap

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Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Everything I Know About Twilight I Learnt In LOLCat

Check out this poster:



Said it with me now. OH. MY. FARKING. GOD.

Can there be a more nauseatingly sickeningly unoriginal poster out there? Yes we know its a vampire teen love story that sounds a lot like Sweet Valley High with vampires, but still, couldn't they have come up with a better poster than THAT?

Oi, what sort of vampire movie IS this? There's not a single drop of blood to be seen on the poster! And what's Ol' Powder doing in it, eh? And when did he grow hair?

If you haven't read the books, don't worry. I haven't either. In fact, you don't even have to. All you need to read to know almost all about the books is Mad Hatter Lynn's 'reviews' of the books, after which you will wonder if you will ever WANT to read the books because they couldn't possibly top her LOLCat version of Edward and his nommy wench.

Go read them here:
Ok fine. If you really want a more 'serious' brief about the movie/books/story, got to Empire's Beginner's Guide to Twilight.

It's got handy Who's Who guides, complete with pretty pictures of everyone in the movie, in case you were wondering just how vegetarian vampires look like.



So there you have it. Everything you need to know about Twilight is there, I reckon. No need to even read the book or watch the movie liao. Haha.

I know I won't be doing either. Heh.