Friday, 27 February 2009

Up, Up and Poster Away!!!!

Ooooooohhhhh New Up posters!

They're not as kewl as the Wall-E ones last year, and they don't really explain much about hte movie itself..... but who cares? I wants them all!!!!!!!!


... from Cloud City Taitaiwanohwan!

No further updates today unless I'm feeling bored and decide to stay in the room... which I won't BUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA.

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

The Sun Bursts Over Nerds in Kornfields

Ok folks, here's the latest on the Sunblah Festival which was SUPPOSED to have Snowpatrolkaisershiefskingsofleonetcetcetc but ended up with only N.E.R.D. after putting all their eggs in one Coldplay baldi.

Apparently, now we're gonna have some jagung along with some badu and one quarter of Morcheeba for the ride as well. Yes, KORN, ERYKAH BADU and Skye will be in Sunburst (oh, and some group called Naturally 7. Huh?).

At least NOW it's looking like a decent lineup, even if its nowhere NEAR what the damn organisers were hyping up in the first place. Note to you people: Next time, get three or four decent, middle range bands, and don't put ALL your eggs in one basket to try and get just ONE MEGA-ACT.

And in case you were asking, no I'm not gonna go for Coldplay in Singapore. And I' too broke to go for Mosaic this year, even though I REALLY REALLY wanna watch Of Montreal live. Already seen them live, why wanna see them again? Besides, Chris Martin would probably mangle up my favorite song on the new album again anyway, so why bother?

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

MUSICLARITY: Jiwang Tuesday #10 (The One With Zainal Yang Berwarna-Warni)

Dulu, Si Zainal Abidin keluarkan lagu Hijau ni, sebab dia mau protest sama itu pembinasaan alam sekitar. Lagu Hijau tu tak jiwang, tapi lirik-lirik dia memang jiwang. Jiwang pasal pokok lar, laut lar, ramo-ramo lar... Lagi jiwang daripada lagu Headwind.

Itu dulu. Sekarang, Zainal tak payah asyik-asyik Hijau-Hijau saje dah. Ade banyak kaler-kaler yang boleh dia pakai lagi. Berikut adalah 'idea' untuk sebuah album EP berthema warna yang mengandungi lagu-lagu 'cover' yang En. Zainal boleh mengeluarkan:

Kuning: Lagu 'cover' Coldplay; dengan lirik-alternatif yang memuji kesedapan makanan tempatan yang berwarna kuning seperti ikan tempoyak, pisang goreng, dan lain-lain.

Merah Jambu: Lagu 'cover' Aerosmith. Mengandungi lirik-lirik yang penuh kontrovasi mengenai seksualiti lelaki yang suka memakai baju berwarna merah jambu.

Hujan Ungu: Lagu 'cover' Prince; lagu pro-alam-sektar yang mengandungi unsur-unsur dekad lapan-puluhan, dengan lirik-lirik yang menghantam hujan-hujan berwarna ungu yang diakibatkan oleh kilang-kilang Ribena.

Hitam Atau Putih: Lagu 'cover' Michael Jackson. Satu percubaan En. Zainal untuk memasuki pasaran lagu disco. Lirik-liriknya bercerita tentang betapa susahnya memilih warna apabila membeli kereta baru.

Saya Masih Biru-Biru: Lagu 'cover' Gary Moore; Guitar 'blues' Moore itu diganti dengan guitar yang dibina dengan dua batang kayu, sekotak mancis dan tiga gelang getah.

Acquisitions: Zainal Abidin - Hijau

DISCLAIMER: All the mp3s available here are for sampling purposes only. So don't be an irresponsible pirate - if you really like the songs, be sure to buy the album also, ok? BTW, if you have a problem with the mp3s I've listed on the blog and want me to take them down, please email me at, and I'll remove it at once.

Previous Jiwang Tuesday posts:

Monday, 23 February 2009

The Night of The Slumdog Juggernaut (Also the night Pittman beat the crap out of Batman AND Iron Man)

Sorry about the lack of updates... I've been away on a road trip (on which I did nothing but eat sleep and nothing else. heh.). So obviously I was having too much fun to bother updating the blog. hahahahahahaha.

Anyway. This morning, I was happily awake at 9am, waiting to watch the Oscars.... when I realised that the ceremony will be shown on STAR MOVIES, of which I am too cheap to subscribe to (after all, I get to watch movies in the cinema for free anyway, why pay to watch it on TV? Hehe.)

So yeah. No 'live' updates like I did last year (or was it the year before last? I don't remember oledi hahaha) But heck, here's the complete list of winners anyway.

And just so you know, I'm upset that WALL-E only got ONE award the entire night. It deserved the sound awards too, godammit!



  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  • Frost/Nixon
  • Milk
  • The Reader

  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  • Frost/Nixon
  • Milk
  • The Reader
  • Slumdog Millionaire (Yay Danny Boyle! At least Ron Howard didn't win again!)

  • Richard Jenkins (The Visitor)
  • Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon)
  • Brad Pitt (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)
  • Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler)

  • Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married)
  • Angelina Jolie (Changeling)
  • Melissa Leo (Frozen River)
  • Meryl Streep (Doubt)
  • Kate Winslet (The Reader) (after five nominations, SHE'S FINALLY WON AN OSCAR! WOOT!)

  • Josh Brolin - Milk
  • Robert Downey Jr. - Tropic Thunder
  • Philip Seymour Hoffman - Doubt
  • Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight (As if no one saw THIS one coming... still, its a relief to see he actually DID win.)
  • Michael Shannon - Revolutionary Road

  • Amy Adams - Doubt
  • Penélope Cruz - Vicky Cristina Barcelona (This was my choice too! Though my decision had nothing to do with her acting skills... hur hur)
  • Viola Davis - Doubt
  • Taraji P. Henson - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  • Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler



  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  • Doubt
  • Frost/Nixon
  • The Reader
  • Slumdog Millionaire (I got this one right as well... though it was an easy choice...)

  • Frozen River
  • Happy-Go-Lucky
  • In Bruges
  • Milk (ok, I got this wrong, but only because I'm bias towards WALL-E... haha)
  • WALL•E

  • Bolt
  • Kung Fu Panda
  • WALL•E (I like to imagine this was a landslide victory.. I mean, really. Bolt and Kungfu Panda over WALL-E???? PFFFFTTTT)


  • The Baader Meinhof Complex, Germany
  • The Class, France
  • Departures, Japan (Score one for the Japs! I wonder if Waltz With Bashir losing had anything to do with the current war...)
  • Revanche, Austria
  • Waltz with Bashir, Israel



  • Changeling
  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Wow, BB's doing pretty well...)
  • The Dark Knight
  • The Duchess
  • Revolutionary Road

  • Changeling
  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  • The Dark Knight
  • The Reader
  • Slumdog Millionaire (Sighhhh I wanted Dark Knight to win...)

  • Australia
  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  • The Duchess (Wow, an award NOT won by Slumdog or Benjamin Button...)
  • Milk
  • Revolutionary Road

  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  • The Dark Knight
  • Frost/Nixon
  • Milk
  • Slumdog Millionaire (hmmm... at this point, Slumdog was leading the pack with five awards already...)

  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (The Pittman scores one over Batman AND Hellboy!)
  • The Dark Knight
  • Hellboy II: The Golden Army

  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (WHOA. The Pittman/Cap. Blanchett double superhero team are on a roll... beating the crap out of both Batman AND Iron Man...)
  • The Dark Knight
  • Iron Man



  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  • Defiance
  • Milk
  • Slumdog Millionaire (A.R. Rahman scores one for the machas!)
  • WALL•E

  • Down to Earth (WALL•E)
  • Jai Ho (Slumdog Millionaire) (Poor WALL-E... he didn't stand a chance against the Slumdog Juggernaut, did he?)
  • O Saya (Slumdog Millionaire)

  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  • The Dark Knight
  • Slumdog Millionaire (WTF!!!! BEN BURTT SHOULD GET THE SOUND AWARDS!!!)
  • WALL•E
  • Wanted

  • The Dark Knight (As much as I liked The Dark night, I think Wall-E deserves the sound awards more lor...)
  • Iron Man
  • Slumdog Millionaire
  • WALL•E
  • Wanted



  • The Betrayal
  • Encounters at the End of the World
  • The Garden
  • Man on Wire (Zzzzzzzz.....)
  • Trouble the Water

  • The Conscience of Nhem En
  • The Witness
  • The Final Inch
  • Smile Pinki (.....zzzzzzz....)

  • Auf der Strecke (On the Line)
  • Manon on the Asphalt
  • New Boy
  • The Pig
  • Spielzeugland (Toyland) (....zzzzzz)

  • La Maison en Petits Cubes (Ebeh. And Presto lostt.... :-( )
  • Lavatory – Lovestory
  • Gobelins
  • Presto
  • This Way Up

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

MUSICLARITY: Jiwang Tuesday #9 (The One With Awie yang Hebat)

Awie ni, memang hebat. Tiap-tiap bulan Oktober, dia pasti mengalami tragedi... tetapi dia tak pernah kisah, walaupun dia terpaksa bernafas dalam lumpur! Walaupun dia terpaksa berSembilu (bukan sekali, tapi DUA KALI!)... dia tetap mengejar Maria sama Mariana sampai dia dapat kedua-duanye sekali!

Fooyor, jangan main-main, ok? Awie ni, memang dahsyat. Dulu band dia dipanggil Wings; sekarang, dia tak main dah, muzik-muzik ni... dia dah jadi Ghostbaster! Hari tu je, dia pegi kejar zombie kat itu Kampung Pisang jugak, lepas tu, dia ajar itu Radhi dari OAG (tu pu lagi sekor... dulu main lagu England, sekarang Melayu pulak. Krisis Identiti ke?) macam mana nak fight itu Antoo pulak! Fooyor!

Acquisitions: Wings - Bernafas Dalam Lumpur

DISCLAIMER: All the mp3s available here are for sampling purposes only. So don't be an irresponsible pirate - if you really like the songs, be sure to buy the album also, ok? BTW, if you have a problem with the mp3s I've listed on the blog and want me to take them down, please email me at, and I'll remove it at once.

Previous Jiwang Tuesday posts:

Monday, 16 February 2009

Devastatingly Awesome In The Movie, Crappy Looking Toy.

By now you PROBABLY have seen the leaked trailer for Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen.

I don't know about you, but I felt a bit underwhelmed by it. Maybe because it's such a lousy video. I guess I'll have to wait for the OFFICIAL trailer to go online then...

Anyway, in case you didn't already know, there's gonna be one HUGE ASS Transformer in the movie this time around... no, he's not the Fallen. He's actually made up of SIX different Decepticons, all of which you can usually find around a Construction site.

So now... without further ado... behold.... DEVASTATORRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Looks freaking awesome, don't it? There's gonna be a TOY for him too, apparently sold as a SET of SIX robots.... And it looks something like THIS:

Er... ok. Hmmm... Er... That is ONE UGLY TOY. It better be freaking HUGE though!

Oh what, that Fallen? Well, apparently it looks like this:

Yeah I know. Is this Transformers or Robot Chicken Aliens?

Oh well, can't wait for the movie anyway! WHEEE!!!!!

PS: In case you were wondering why the hell this Devastator doesn't look like the one in the LAST movie, lemme explain. The 'Devastator' tank thingy in the first movie was actually supposed to be called BRAWL, but the editors of teh film forgot to change the name on the subtitles, so it was accidentally called Devastator instead. So... now you know. :D

Friday, 13 February 2009

Happy Day!

Happy Suckers Day!
Happy Happy Florists Day!
Happy Overpriced Flowers Day!
Happy Overcommercialised Romance Day!
Happy Soppy Songs On The Radio All-Day Day!
Happy Show Your Love On Only One Day a Year Day!
Happy Good Luck Getting a Restaurant Reservation Day!
Happy You Better Get Some After All That Money You're Spending Day!

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Burn After Reading Ain't No Comedy For Old Men

Burn After Reading.
Not A Review.
Banish all thoughts of Oscars,
Forget No Country For Old Men.
This is the Coens back at their dark, kooky best
Ok it's probably not their BEST,
But it's them doing what they do best.
It's not an all out thriller, action, comedy or drama.
It's a Coen movie.
They should be a GENRE all by themselves!

Forget Brad Pitt in Benjamin Button,
There he was all serious serious and whimsical.
After watching this, you'll be thankful you watched Benjamin Button first.
He is actually really, really, funny here,
In fact, he's probably the best thing about this movie.

Ooh, and John Malkovich also damn good.
That fella can really act.
And when he goes berserk,
I doubt even Anton Chigurh would stand in his way.
He won't need a fucking air gun,
All he needs is an axe
(And a very very stiff drink)

This is a movie about idiots,
About how intelligence is relative.
And oh my god are the people here stupid.
Not stupid as in slapstick kick my balls stupid.
And why is everyone sleeping with each other?
So it's a movie about stupidity AND sex, huh?

I absolutely LOVED the movie,
Especially the DIALOGUE.
Which was fucking brilliant.
Especially the CIA suits talking about the whole affair.
That was absolutely brilliant.
No, really, you HAVE to listen to what they say closely,
And the WAY they say it.
It's brilliant, trust me.

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

The Rappy Granny's Grammys

These were some of the nominees for the Album of The Year at Monday night's Grammy Awards:

IN RAINBOWS (Radiohead) - The best Radiohead album since OK Computer.
THA CARTER III (Lil' Wayne) - acknowledged as probably THE best rap album of 2008

And who wins it? An album of cover songs sung by a chick and one quarter of Led Zeppelin. SIGGHHHHH. Oh well, at least Ne-yo's album didn't win it, and Coldplay didn't either.

Heck, if Coldplay had won it, it would have been an even BIGGER insult to Radiohead... I mean, seriously, Viva La Vida or Death And All his Friends over In Rainbows? Chris Martin + Jay-Fucking-Z over Thom Yorke and an entire marching band? PUHLEEEZZZEEEEE.

I AM happy that Adele won best new artiste though. Heck, I was rooting for Duffy, but Adele is just as good. As long as the Jonas Brothers didn't win. Phew. And at least In Rainbows won best alternative album (I wnder why it was House of Cards that was nominated for Grammys, and not Nude, or Reckoner, or Jigsaw Falling Into Place... Was it the only single from the album released in 2008?).

This is also probably the Grammys that had the WORSE PRESENTERS EVAR. I mean, did you catch The Rock's segment? Was he trying to be FUNNY? Because he sure fell flat with every single joke he tried.

And what the fuck is up with letting Stevie Wonder perform as people were leaving the hall? He's Stevie freaking WONDER, for gods sake, give him more respect, people! Just because he can't see people leaving in the middle of his performance doesn't mean you let him sing his heart out while people are leaving and mingling... like some lounge singer that no one listens to! (That Jonas Brothers + Stevie Wonder performance was quite atrocious as well...)

Speaking of performances, why are there so many OLD people performing? Is this the Grammys or the Grannys? And why so many annoying rappers? This ain't the Rappys, yo. why is Justin Timberlake performing TWICE in the show? Was it because of Rihanna's no show? That new U2 song was pretty ok though, and Paul McCartney singing I Saw Her Standing There with Dave Ghrol on drums was briliant too.

I wonder what would have happened if M.I.A. suddenly went into labour in the middle of the song. It would have been WAAAAY more entertaining than that mess of a 'song' that those rappers were trying to put out. And speaking of rappers, how could ANYONE think that Jay-Z rap bit in the middle of Coldplay's Lost is good? It's so fucking JARRING to hear rap in the middle of the song. Yo Chris, just stick to your ballads and leave the hip-hop alone, will ya?

Best performances? Radiohead, of course, with aforementioned marching band; and Jennifer Hudson - song was so-so, but the emotion overfloweth.

Oh, and WOW! Blink 182 are back together again! And they picked the GRAMMYS to announce this EARTH SHATTERING NEWS! How did we ever live without their adolescent juvenile music?

Oh well. The Grammys have always been a pretty dumb awards show anyway, giving a shitload of awards to one or two 'credible' artistes while ignoring the REAL GOOD stuff. Bah. Now bring on the Oscars...

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

The Romance Of The Two Movies On a Crimson Cliff

Red Cliff.
One AND Two.
Not a Review.
It's EoE's first ever two in one Movie not-review!
Ok, so it's the same movie,
In the West, that is.
They only get 2 and a half hours.
I hereby rename you John WOOT!

Ok, one by one, ok?
Red Cliff 1 first.
It was ok... not GREAT AWESOME GREAT.
But still pretty damn good.
I especially like how Tony Leung was introduced
And all those generals under Liu Bei kicking ass.
Takeshi was not bad also.
All about the prelude to the battle,
And discuss discuss, convince convince,
Develop the characters and establish the second movie.

Lin Chi Ling is hot, yes
But she's no actress leh
Sad ke, brave ke, loving ke..
Zhao Wei is hotter.
And cuter too (in real life, heh heh)
Too bad she's a tomboy here,
But she still showed more cleavage than Lin Chi Ling. Heh.

The second movie was much much better.
The first one was slower,
This one got more fighting,
And got the strategising, and planning,
Best part is Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yu's tricks,
And then the final battle.
Damn best.

Well, it was great up till the superhuman...
...Saving the other human from falling down a building.
Damn kua chiong, that. heh.
But everything else was pretty good.
Made me want to go read the actual stories.
And find out about all the famous characters.
Zhang fei, Zhou Yu, Zhuge Liang etc.

Watching the movie reminded me of that awesome video game last time
You know, the third person fighting game,
Based on the Romance of Three Kingdoms characters,
That was always around the video arcades,
(Before they shut them all down BOOO)
Got Zhang Fei, Kuan Yi, and....
Er... can't remember anymore
I have got to find that damn game again.
It was le awesome.

Friday, 6 February 2009

Singer Should Have Let The X-Men Save The Day on Valkyrie instead of Tom Cruise...

Not a Review.
Oh look it's Tom Cruise.
Hey, it's in GERMAN?
Not bad, Cruise!
And I thought you were too hoity-toity to learn Germa... Oh.
Bah. Only the first few lines were German.
Now he's speaking American again. Bah.
And therein lies MY problem with Valkyrie.
All the Germans speak English!
I never knew the Nazi actually spoke English...
And not just English in German accents...
Even Hitler! (though his wasn't so obvious)
(The scenes with Hitler was actually quite interesting...)

Also, that bloody Tom Cruise is too distracting to be convincing.
One look at him, and you think, "Hey, it's Tom Cruise!"
Even with the eye patch.
Hey at least Brad Pitt didn't look much like Brad Pitt,
(Until he got younger, that is).
Couldn't they have UNprettyfied Tom for the show?
NOOOOOO. They HAD to make him pretty.
No one will believe an ugly Tom Cruise eh?
Heck, he should have kept the fat suit from Tropic Thunder.
Then he might have been more convincing.

And I thought this was a little pointless lor.
Like, you already know what happened.
It's ACTUAL HISTORY, people.
Hitler was NOT assassinated.
So you know in the movie he survives.
Which makes all the tension and drama a little BLAH.
It's still pretty good though,
But a bit of an anti-climax loooor...

Wonder what would have happened if midway through the movie...
Bryan Singer decided to FUCK THIS SHIT
Make it an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE history instead,
One where the plot actually SUCCEEDS
And Hitler DOES DIE!
WOOHOO! The possibilities!
Then Captain America can come SWOOPING in with the AVENGERS
And then the X-Men come in and kick Tom Cruises's ASS!
Now THAT'S a movie I'd pay to watch...

Thursday, 5 February 2009

The Complete List Of Eyeris' Movie Not-Reviews

As I was about to write a Not-Review for Red Cliff this morning (Red Cliff ONE, not TWO... I haven't watched the second one yet, and only watch ONE last night on DVD... sighhh), I noticed that my last two posts were Movie Not-Reviews as well.

So I got curious... how many of these things have I done already, and when it all started (yeah, even I don't remember when I started Not-Reviewing movies...)... so I decided to check and see, and compile them into a list/post that I can put in the sidebar...

Well, apparently, the 'format' started out with the incredibly crappy Ghost Rider back in February 2007 (wow has it been THAT long already), and I only wrote that because I was too lazy to think of a proper post with proper structure and grammar and what not. So I just wrote what I thought, and in point form. And then when I watched the next movie, which was Babel, it was so layered and heavy that I was too lazy to write a proper post again, and just did the same thing all over again.

And thus were Eyeris' Movie Not-Reviews born. As of the last one (Slumdog Millionaire) at the time of writing, the tally stood at 84 not-reviews in total. I'll be adding the newer ones I do after this to this list, so if you are reading this at a later date, do bear in mind that I'll TRY to keep the list updated with the new ones also, so that this list will include ALL the Movie Not-Reviews I've ever done, ok?

BTW, I also credit Fireangel for coming up with the term 'Not A Review', as evidenced by the following comment she left on the Not-Review for 300:

Anywaaaayyyy... here is the list (sorted by date of publication, the newest one first):

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Go Slumdog Millionaire! Score One For The Machas!!!

Slumdog Millionaire.
Not a review.
If you only watch one Bollywood movie all year,
Watch this one.
Wait, whadaya mean this ain't a Bollywood movie?
What about all those Indians?
And Amitabh Bachchan? And Mumbai?
And THAT ending at the credits?
What, Danny Boyle? Oh...

This ain't the typical Oscar movie.
It's got none of that political clout of Frost/Nixon or Milk,
And is not as sprawling as Benjamin Button
And it ain't no Holocaust movie like The Reader.
I still hope it wins though.
It bloody deserves it for how different it is from those other nominees.

It's got a lot of heart.
It's light, It's funny, it's endearing,
It's poignant, and it's warm, its heartbreaking.
Your heart goes out to those kids,
Just watching them SURVIVING is inspirational.
And also, that lovesick puppy that is Jamal.

Constantly downtrodden even when he's on the show,
Given no respect, just because of who he is.
And yet... he doesn't give up. NOT. ONE. BIT.
He keeps on searching and searching,
You want to root for him,
But at the same time you want to smack him silly for being so lovesick.

Oooh, and that Latika.
She's prettyyyyyyy.
No cleavage rating though...
(which is another reason this is no Bollywood movie)
She's not super-hot like Aishwarya or Priyanka,

Go watch this.
I think I might do so again.
It goes up on 12 February,
on GSC's International screens.
And root for it at the Oscars!
Maybe it IS written, no?

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Button Benjamin Of Review-Not Curious The

Maybe it's written, no?
And to finally be together then...
To meet in that one exact spot,
Especially when you go through different paths in life,
It IS all about timing, isn't it?
Falling in love in the middle.
Meeting in the middle.

When everything just... FITS.
Hurtling towards that special point in their lives,
And the delicate, romantic heartbreak of two lovers,
It's the performances, the story...
Or the Oscar nominations.
But the point in this movie is not the SFX.

(The Academy loves Ron Howard that much)
I'm betting Frost/Nixon will win that one.
I doubt they'll win the Best Picture award though.
They might even give the superheroes a fight for the SFX Oscar.
(Yes, I take back what I said in the last post)
They'll probably beat The Dark Knight for the Makeup Oscar
The makeup and special effects were great, of course,

(Or I'd seen more of them, actually)
Makes you wish she'd been in more movies when she was younger,
That dancing scene in the moonlight was brilliant,
But the scene when she's 23, she looks even better.
I mean, she's hot anyway as she is right now,
She's such an awesomely hot MILF.
Sigh... Cate Blanchett...

That's how good he is.
Even though he IS unmistakenedly, Brad Pitt.
You don't really see him as Brad Pitt,
But he's very convincing,
Even though a lot has to do with the makeup.
Brad Pitt deserves his nomination,

So good that you hardly even notice it's almost 3 hours long.
But pretty damn good.
A bit long, perhaps,
It's really really quite good.
Yes, you have to read this backward.
Not a review.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.