Thursday, 2 July 2009

How to defend the new Transformers movie: An expert guide

Sure, the Transformers sequel ain't perfect. But I still love it. After the second time, I'd already learned to tune out during the boring bits and just focus on the bots and boobs on show without giving the story or dialogue too much thought.

Anyway, I've still been getting a lot of people coming up to me complaining that the movie is stupid and giving me stick for giving it four stars in my review. And the critics have been slamming it left right center (IMHO, I think all those critics are missing the point. But that's another story...). But that's not stopping it from grossing over USD200 million (and >USD400 million worldwide) in its FIRST WEEKEND.

Inevitably most of the grouses were about the stupid story, the bad dialog, and Megan Fox (funnily enough, most of these were from the girls... I wonder why...)

But fear not! For I've compiled a list of ready made answers for the FAQs I get all the time. So, if you are a fan of the new movie and are getting stick for loving it, fear not! just use these answers in your argument and make THE OTHER PERSON feel bad for NOT loving it! LOL

What did you think of the movie?
I think it is exactly like the first movie, minus the novelty factor, and with EVERYTHING amplified. The GOOD parts (robots, transforming, Megan) are bigger and better and there are more cool robots; but at the same time, the LOUSY parts (annoying characters, lousy dialogue and stupid plot) are also worse, and there are more annoying characters (the Twins, Agent Simmons, that annoying Leo, the parents).

But the movie is so DUMB, and the story doesn't make sense! (from a colleague)
Well DUH. OF COURSE it's dumb and silly, it's based on a line of TOYS and directed by MICHAEL BAY, for gods sake. It's not meant to be ANALYZED. Just sit back and enjoy the mayhem.

The characters are so annoying!
OK, I have no defense for this one, because the characters ARE annoying, even some of the bots (I kept wishing the twins would get stomped by Devastator). And that Leo Spitz dumbass is so annoying that even the original Transformers Annoying Guy - Agent Simmons - couldn't stand him. And can you believe Bay wants to give him a BIGGER ROLE in TF3? *shudder*

How can you love such a stupid movie?
See, this is called 'managing expectations'. If you went in, like me, expecting a stupid, mindless action-packed movie with lots of cool giant robots, then you'd love it. If you expected good story, Oscar winning acting and thought provoking dialogue... then you're watching the wrong movie, right?

I can't tell one robot from another!
To tell the truth, neither could I, especially the Decepticons. That's because there were so many of them, including 'clones' of the Constructicons who were supposed to be in Devastator... But at least we could still tell ones that mattered (Prime! Bumblebee! Jetfire! Starscream!) apart from the usual cannon fodder.

There's not enough time for the human characters! I want more Shia/Josh!
Who cares? Bay can kill ALL of them off and have just Megan Fox and the Transformers alone in the third movie for all I care...

Megan Fox is so unnecessary! She does nothing but flaunt her sexiness! (from Fireangel)
er.... your point is?

Megan Fox is so boring! (from Suanie)
Er.... her being boring is the least of our concerns for Her Foxiness lor...

Megan Fox's slo-mo scene is so uncalled for! (from a male colleague)
What are you, gay?

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