Monday, 24 August 2009

LEGO: The Movie = Kayu Reeve's Dream Role.

So... apparently they're going to make a movie out of LEGO. Um. No. I mean, they're making a movie ABOUT LEGO (That's it, Hollywood has officially run out of ideas).

How they're going to go about beats me. But one thing seems very obvious to me though. They need to get Keanu Reeves to star in it. Hey, he does the best impression of a wooden plank EVER, and so it's a safe bet that he'll be an ace LEGO Brick as well.



Anyway, you can't have a big star without a story to entice him with. So here are a few story ideas the scriptwriters could pursue...

----------------------------------------------------------------

Sci-Fi
Reeves is just another 4X8 brick in the wall of a normal, no frills LEGO City house. Dreams of being part of a deluxe Star Wars LEGO set on day. One day, he wakes up to realise he has been made a part of Bionicle set, and has to save his old LEGO house from an attack by the smug and arrogant Star Wars LEGO sets who want to use the house's bricks to build a new Collector's Edition Death Star set.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Kiddy Movie
It IS a kid's toy, ain't it? Made entirely with 3Duplo effects, Reeves plays a LEGO policeman who has to put on a fat suit and go undercover as DUPLO man, so he can protect the DUPLO son of a very famous LEGO man (who owns all the LEGO Power Miners Sets) from terrorists who want to use his LEGO Thunder Driller to rob banks. Also features Vin Diesel as the voice of the Duplo dog.


----------------------------------------------------------------

Sports
In a crossover of two of last year's blockbusters, a LEGO Speed Racer Mach 5 gets involved with a race to the death with a LEGO Batmobile. In between the two adversaries is an unknown driver (Reeves) driving a custom-made LEGO Racers car, who has a grudge against both the star drivers.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Rom-Com
A LEGO man (Reeves) and a LEGO woman (played by Keira Knightley, because, ya know, LEGO women all have flat chests…) falls in love in a LEGO Cafe Corner Playset, go on vacation in Paris where they break up in a limited edition LEGO Eiffel Tower.




----------------------------------------------------------------

Fantasy
A small 4x4 LEGO brick (Reeves) has to overcome his shortcomings and bring a small, yellow, magical one-circle clear LEGO piece to the top of a LEGO mountain. He must then set it on the tip of the mountain to seal off the evil spewing forth from the mountain. Features an equally wooden Mark Wahlberg as a swashbuckling, scruffy knight from a Knights Kingdom set, going up against a dragon from the Viking LEGO sets.

No comments: