Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Spider-mouse! The Incredible Dulk! Disney Marvel Crossovers!

I woke up this morning to the news that Disney has bought Marvel for USD BILLION.

Yes, believe it, people, the Mouse owns Spidey's ass now, and there's nothing we can do about it.

You gotta admit though, this throws up all sorts of possibilities. No I couldn't care less about all the business business bits. I'm talking about how seeing as Disney owns Marvel, Pixar AND their own Disney characters, think of all the FUN they could have with crossovers!

Imagine...

1) Spider-mouse - A mouse with unusually large ears is bitten by a HUGE radioactive spider (huge to the mouse, that is). He gains special powers - growing to human being-size, gains the ability to talk (in a VERY squeaky voice) and to stick on walls that are not covered with rat poison. With great powers come great merchandising rights, so Spider-mouse goes on to use those powers to drive a steamboat, woo Minnie Mouse, and sell merchandise by the billions. Also guest stars

2) The Incredible Dulk
A mild-mannered duck accidently flies into a gamma ray testing field while escaping some hunters, and is turned into a GIANT GREEN MONSTER (with a beak) who starts throwing tantrums and goes after the hunters yelling "QUACLK SQUESSSSH!!!!" Surprisingly, while the rest of his body turns green, his beak remains yellow. Also, he ends up wearing ONLY a shirt (no pants) which seems to magically expand as he grows bigger.

3) The Fantasia Four Four characters - a mouse, a duck, a goofy-looking dog, and an orange dog are one a road trip in an RV when it is hit by cosmic rays. They then get superpowers (as usual). The mouse gains the ability to command brooms and expand his ears like a rubber mat and calls himself Mr. Fantasia. The duck can turn invisible (but strangely, his beak remains visible). Goofy can turn himself into a living bonfire, which comes in real handy when the gang are roasting marshmallows during their road trips. And Pluto? He gets turned into an orange rock.

4) Plutolt
All his life, Pluto thought he was a superdog. He never seemed to die or get injured when he fell down wells, got hit by large rocks and anvils, or when he smashed into trees while chasing chipmunks. Then he gets lost one day and discovers that he was just a very lucky dog. He then has to find his way home accompanied by two talking chipmunks, an Arisocat, and 101 Dalmations.

5) Toy Story 2.5: The Attack of the Superhero Action Figures
A completely stand-alone story set in between the events of Toy Story 2 and 3, this movie sees Woody, Buzz and gang having to defend themselves and Andy's Room from an attack by Sid's new Marvel Legends superhero action figures. Features Rex the dinosaur headbutting The Incredible Hulk! Woody using his puppet strings against Spider-man! Buzz uses his karate-chop grip against Iron Man (with swinging punch action)! The Little Green Army Men gang up against the Wasp and Ant Man! Little Bo Peep using her staff to whack a plastic Emma Frost (with a face sculpt that looks like a transvestite)! And the greatest battle of them all... Mr. Potatohead taking on Spider-Spud!

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