Friday, 30 October 2009

Absolut Fantasy

Contrary to THIS post, I'm actually not THAT big a fan of Absolut Vodka. I mean, I'm a fan of vodka IN GENERAL, and I don't MIND Absolut; but I certainly don't LOVE it. So sue me, but I've been spoiled silly with awesome vodka in Poland, and Absolut isn't exactly GREAT vodka. It's GOOD, but not GREAT.

But at least it's GOOD. Between Absolut and the shite 'vodka' they serve at bars and pubs in KL (the one in Barsonic is especially foul), I'll take Absolut anytime.

I'll say one thing about them though - they have one hell of a marketing team . They have a freaking good ad campaign, and their bottles are pretty cool too. I have a whole collection of miniature Absolut bottles (I'm still trying to get my hands on a miniature Absolut Peppar bottle.. anyone wanna sell me one?).

Anyway, I've tried quite a few of their flavored vodkas too. Some are decent, some are downright awful. Pear, Citron, Apeach and Vanilla I like. Mango, Peppar... I can handle. Raspberri? Forget it. I made the mistake of buying one bottle once, and couldn't finish that huge bottle of cough mixture flavored vodka for a whole YEAR, until one drunken party where an already drunk friend downed the whole bottle all by himself.

I was in Changi recently and saw the Absolut Rock bottle, with all the leather and studs, and went, "WTF kinda vodka is this?" Stone flavored vodka? So hard it knocks you out? What's all this batu-ba... huh? Oh... ROCK.

Anyway, since they seem to be having fun coming up with their legitimate Absolut vodkas, I figured it might be fun to come up with our OWN localised Absoluts as well... Here we go!


Absolut BKT
Inspired by claims from femes food blogger KYspeaks that bah kut teh is the best after-party supper ever, this strong vodka combines the awesomeness of vodka and bah kut teh in one custom made, one of a kind Absolut-bottle-shaped thermos bottle. It satiates your alcohol craving AND your stomach at the same time! Available in two versions - one with little pork bits, and a vegetarian one with tau foo pok instead.

Absolut Cilipadi
Forget Absolut Peppar. This is the mother of all spicy vodkas. Guaranteed to give you not just a ring of fire, but also make your throat burn when you throw it all up. Inspired by femes blogger Fireangel, because, well, you know, Cili Padi is hot. Never mind.

Absolut Cincau
Vodka with little black jelly bits. Goes well with ice, soya bean and served in little plastic bags tied with raffia string.

Absolut Death
Strong vodka with a tinge of apple. 89.9% alcohol content. Best taken neat. Approved by evil witches everywhere, for all your alcoholic princess poisoning needs.

Absolut Grog
Tagline: I can't believe it's not rum! Favored by pirates the world over (except in Somalia and Petaling Street), including those of the bargain bin variety. Best consumed after an attack by dangerous rum-burning Kiera Knightleys.

Absolut Finlandia
Two of Scandinavia's biggest vodka manufacturers come together in a bid to out-vodka THE original and still the best vodka makers from Poland and Russia (both countries that produce THE BEST VODKA in the WORLD, BTW. Smirnoff non-withstanding).

Absolut Kopi-O
Coffee-flavoured vodka. Served on the rocks in large quantities, and in plastic cups. Mixture of caffeine, high sugar content (there is a kurang manis version, but it is generally frowned upon by vodka enthusiasts) and alcohol ensures you get drunk but remain alert. Beware of deadly hangovers in the morning.

Absolut Senget
Strong vodka guaranteed to make you senget. Comes in a limited edition senget designer bottle inspired by the senget adventures of the Thirsty Blogger.

Absolut Shite:
Actually gin.

Absolut Single:
The complete opposite of Absolut Love, this is a vodka made especially for The Last Happy Single Girl and all the other single girls out there. Derived from a love potion recipe by the best bomoh in Malaysia (guaranteed to have never been prosecuted for rape or fraud), it is guaranteed to make any guy look handsome and charming after you drink at least five shots. Neat.

Absolut Sweat
Their venture into the isotonic drink market. Now you can workout, and then replenish your body fluids AND get drunk at the same time! Inspired by Suanie's efforts at Bootcamp. Take note, Bootcamp instructors, if you dangle a drink in front of her she might drag that tyre a lot faster...

Absolut Water
Exactly what it says. Alcohol content: 0%. Highly recommended by femes noob drunk blogger Kimberlycun.

Meet the gang

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Is That It, This Is It?

This Is It.
Not a review.
Is That It?
Yes, That's It, folks.
I expected something more.
But this'll do, I guess.

Holy cow that would have been one ballbusting motherfucking awesome concert.
The dancing was fucking brilliant
There's 3D movies, fire, even a fucking BULLDOZER.
His voice was still great too,
Sounds exactly like on the CD.

The best parts wasn't the dancing or the singing.
It was watching him being himself,
Smiling shyly while others praise him,
Standing gingerly on the cherry picker,
Trying to make the music director understand him,
His voice as he gave instructions mid-song,
And all the funny little eccentricities that made him... HIM

Because This Is It ain't about the music.
(It's not like you haven't heard the songs a million times already.)
It ain't about the dancing.
(Though even at 50 that dude could DANCE)
It wasn't about the nostalgia,
(though Man In the Mirror really got to me)
It ain't even about the concert itself.
(Though judging from this footage it would have been AWESOME)

No, This Is It is about the man.
The MJ behind the cameras,
The MJ behind the face masks,
The MJ behind the front he always puts up in public.
This was the REAL Michael Jackson.
You wanted to catch a glimpse of what he was really like?
Well, This Is It.

Rest in Peace, MJ.

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Damn Those Little Blue Kinokuniya Stickers

I was in Kinokuniya just now. Big mistake.

I was there looking for the new Terry Pratchett book, Unseen Academicals. I found it, but they only had the crappy US cover, and the UK one was out of stock. SIIGGHH.

I should have left, just then. But NOOOO, being the glutton for punishment and sucker for books that I am, I HAD to walk around some more, over to the comics section.

And lo and behold, what do I see, but this GORGEOUS sight:

Holy shit, THE ABSOLUTE DEATH? If the title alone doesn't hook you, the damn HUGE, GORGEOUS covers by Dave McKean would. And as if that wasn't enough, Kino was kind enough to slap one of those EVIL blue stickers that say 20% discount with any other purchase!

Damn those little blue stickers.

At first I was content with lugging that HUGE HEAVY HARDCOVER book around to the magazine section and just get a cheapo local magazine to get my discount. But NO, I just HAD to go to the fantasy section AGAIN, to make sure there wasn't a UK version of Unseen Academicals hiding behind the crappy US ones (there wasn't. damn).

And that's how I spied THIS:

ARGH. I'd been longing for another Moers book since I finished City of Dreaming Books two years ago. And it's finally here! WOOT!

And yes, it had one of those dastarly blue stickers as well. EVIIILLLL.

Oh, And Another Thing...

No, I didn't buy this. No money lar.

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Will This Really Be It?

Michael Jackson's final flourish - This Is It - opens in cinema tomorrow, and apparently over 20,000 tickets have been sold in the two weeks since advance booking was opened, 10,000 of which were sold on the very first day itself.

Whether the concert/documentary of MJ's final concert rehersals will live up to all the hype remains to be seen. For most of us (yes, including myself) who have never been to his concerts (no, I missed the 1996 concert in KL. sighhhh), this may be our last chance to see him in action. And I would much rather watch this on the big screen than on the little TV.

Will this be the last we'll hear from MJ? Will this really be it? I doubt it. I'm betting that the record label is already greedily remastering, reissuing, re-whatevering his albums, and plan to come up with compilation after compilation or throw together some old demos to make new 'albums' and what not, just to milk as much money out of his popularity as possible, like what they're doing here, and with the new single, This Is It.

If you ask me, the song itself is nothing much to shout about. It's at best, a decent love song, but surely nothing close to his best work (it's only HALF his best work, actually. The other half belongs to Paul Anka...).

I'll be watching This Is It tomorrow night. Movie not review to follow after that. :-D

Monday, 26 October 2009

More Like The B-Team If You Ask Me...

This is the A-Team:

THIS, apparently, is the NEW A-Team:

The costumes are right but there's something not right about this picture.... oh yeah. Why in hell is B.A. Baracus wearing a SHIRT?

Friday, 23 October 2009

Even Bloggers have Awards now. Good Grief.

Am currently in Singapore covering the Nuffnang Blog Awards.
Yeah, even bloggers have awards these days.
What's the world coming to, huh?
No, I'm not here as a blogger.
I'm here as a JOURNALIST ahahahha.
Even managed to squeeze in an interview with Mark Waid,
He's the writer of DC's Kingdom Come.
After that, will rush straight to the awards.
Party, yeah!

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

An Ode To Absolut Love

(pictures taken from Terence and Suanie)

Wow! An event with lots of vodka in glasses!
We called, "Suanie, Suanie, I can has passes?"
"Absolut-ly, Absolut-ly," she said on her Twitter,
Thus sending our alcoholic hearts a-flutter.

So off we went to the RogueArt Gallery,
Where we met the Blogger who's always Thirsty
We gazed at some art on the way to the bar,
And started drinking a lot of vodka.

Elfie went to drink and relieve stress,
Reta showed off her new backless dress.
Kimberly drank some and started to stagger,
Shaolintiger had to drive home without supper.

After that we went for supper in Jalan Alor,
TerenceG ordered for a party of forty-four
Most of the chicken wings were left untouched,
So I tah pau back for the next day's lunch.

In case you were wondering what the event was,
They launched Absolut Love, that was the cause.
We all drank vodka and had lots of fun,
Plenty of Absolut Love for each and everyone!

Because if we lived in an Absolut World,
Then good vodka will always be available.
In small bottles or huge-ass giant ones,
It don't matter as long as we all get some.

Monday, 19 October 2009

The Hell With Beyoncé. Bring PEARL JAM PLEASE.

Today, there was a flurry of Tweets complaining about Beyoncé cancelling her concert in KL, and going to Indonesia instead. Based on THIS report, apparently.

ALLO, PEOPLE. Read the date line on that report. That story was published in 2007 lar. Get your facts straight before jumping the gun can or not?

However, apparently there IS gonna be an 'important announcement' tomorrow regarding the concert schedule, so I wouldn't be surprised if it IS postponed (in the same way Rihanna was 'postponed' as well. eheh.)

(Update: yup, it's definitely 'postponed'. Eheh. Official statement HERE)

Truth be told, I couldn't care less about Beyoncé coming to KL. In fact, I haven't been keeping my hopes up that any band or act I want to see will EVER come to Malaysia. less anxiety that way, and no risk of getting my hopes up only to be dashed to pieces. It's probably more profitable for them to go to Singapore anyway, and them Sillyporeans can afford to pay a lot more than we can for the acts.

But for all it's worth, here's a little list of some acts you MAY or MAY NOT get to see in the next three months. I'm obviously keeping my fingers crossed for Pearl Jam here (I've already bought my Green Day mosh pit tickets, BTW. MUAHAHA), but I ain't holding my breath, really.

- Buzzcocks
: 8 November 2009, KL (CONFIRMED)
- Pearl Jam: November 2009, KL (MAYBE)
- Moby: 11 January 2010, KL (MAYBE)
- Cat Power: 13 January 2010, Singapore (CONFIRMED)
- Green Day: 14 January 2010, Singapore (CONFRMED)
- Andrew Bird: 26 Janary 2010, Singapore (CONFIRMED)
- Belle & Sebastian: January 2010, Singapore (MAYBE)

Damn, if all these REALLY happen, I'm gonna go broke before February 2010...

Thursday, 15 October 2009

Inglourious Basterds is Glouriously Brillient Tarantino

Inglourious Basterds
Not a review.
Glouriously basterdly.
Bluody brillient too.
Brilliently bluody too.
It's Tarantino.

The dialoug is classic Tarantino.
Pay attention to all the LOONG conversations.
They're bloody irreverant,
And bloody brilliant.
And Brad Pitt gets the best damn lines.
No wait.
It's Hans Landa who gets the best lines.
And the way he SAYS them is bloody brillient.

Yeah, that Jew Hunter Hans Landa was great.
He's like, the bad guy.
He'd drink your milk,
Have a nice conversation with you first,
And then CUT YOU DOWN.

That Mélanie Laurent chick is quite hot.
Looks a bit like Uma Thurman from some angles.
And there's Diane Kruger.
She NEVER lets me down.
Even when she's in crap like National Treasure.
Her Cleavage Rating always picks the movie up.
This time? Cleavage Rating 8.5!

I wish there were more of the Basterds though.
Or at least one of them indulgent Nazi-killing sprees
But at least we saw the Jew Bear bashing someone's head in.
And we had Hugo Stiglitz!
And Aldo the Apache!
And er... Little Man.
Never mind.

And screw that Valkyrie Tom Cruise bullshit.
Sure, World War II didn't end this way.
But who cares? He's QUENTIN TARANTINO.
And if QUENTIN TARANTINO says the war ended this way,
Then it BLOODY WELL DID end this way.
Because he's AWUESOUME, that's why.

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

How To Get a Tummy Ache: An Expert Guide

Take one empty tummy.
Throw in six pieces of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets.
Add two gulps of Coca-Cola.
Sprinkle five fries on it,
Then mix in a whole cup of chocolate fudge sundae.
Dilute the mixture with a glass of vodka lime,
And then mix it all up with two hours of badminton.
After the game, add one glass of A&W Root Beer,
Two pieces of fried chicken,
And finally, garnish with two onion rings.
Voila! One tummyache special!
Serves one toilet bowl.

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Rombongan Sambil Belajar Sempena Hari Hijau di Singapura

HOLY FUCK this is the best news ever.

From Reta's blog:

Lushington Entertainments is proud to present GREEN DAY – the Grammy Award-winning American rock trio starring Billie Joe Armstrong (vocals, guitar), Mike Dirnt (bass guitar, vocals) and the Tre Cool (drums, percussion).

This will be GREEN DAY's first ever shows in South East Asia with performances on 14th January 2010


Yes, it's in Singapore. Don't complain. It's GREEN FUCKING DAY. I don't CARE if they're not playing Malaysia. If they were playing in BANGKOK I'd have flown there to watch them. Heck, if they came to Malaysia AFTER Singapore, I'd probably go watch them AGAIN.

Ticket details on Reta's blog. We're planning to get mosh pit tickets and pegi together-gether. Sapa nak ikuuuut????

Monday, 12 October 2009

Rainy With a Chance of Bah Kut Teh

Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs.
Not a review.
Not really a buffet dinner either.
It's more like a light snack.
Or a power lunch.
Or a sandwich on the go.
With coffee on the side.

Yeah, it's a mindless appetizer.
Best taken with a pinch of salt.
Don't go in hungry though,
Or you'll come out craving spaghetti.
Or then again, maybe you won't.
After the food overload here
I didn't feel like eating spaghetti, meatballs or hot dogs.

I'd love it to be rainy with a chance of bah kut teh though.
Or windy with a chance of char koay teow
Or hey, what about sunny side up with a chance of indomie Goreng?
Then again Malaysian food falling from the sky would be weird.
Can you REALLY imagine it raining bah kut teh?
Haiyor so tak halal.
Even the RAIN would get banned then.

Or worse, durian falling from the sky.
Imagine how many people would be killed.
Or banana leaf rice falling from the sky.
The curry stains would be HELL to remove.
And nasi lemak from the sky would be damn gross.
And the leftovers? Wahlau, it'll STINK like hell man.

Oh, and the 'talking' monkey.
Sorry guys, it's been done before.
And Pixar did the 'animal with talking device' thing WAY better,
Even the food doesn't look as good as Ratatouille's
And what's with all the people having such BIG EYES?
It's a bit American-ny too.
And there are a lot of food puns, obviously.
It depends on how you like your sense of humour served I guess.

Ok ok, it's fun.
And not too heavy.
Like I said, it's a mindless appetizer.
It's a light snack you watch to isi perut.
If you want a really gourmet meal, go watch Up.
If you want fast food, go watch this.

Friday, 9 October 2009

Backspacer is A Pearl of a Jam

I have to say, this was utterly unexpected. I actually liked Pearl Jam's latest album - Backspacer. Why unexpected? Because I wasn't very impressed with Pearl Jam's past few albums, and beyond a couple of songs, I can't remember anything they released after... Yield (which was almost TEN YEARS ago).

Backspacer is great though. Not in the league of Ten or Vs., of course, but at least it's got some great songs, and Eddie Vedder actually doesn't sound as angsty and moody as he used to.

My favorite on the album has got to be Force Of Nature. I can't seem to get it out of my head, for some reason. The chorus was what caught my attention first - melodic, soaring, and utterly singable, for a Pearl Jam song, no less. then as I looped it over and over again, the verses got me and the song just kept getting stuck in my head... all DAY. Definitely one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs... EVER. And it doesn't even sound like a song Pearl Jam would come up with...

Other songs on the album I liked are the fun Johnny Guitar, the folksy Just Breathe, and the pretty cool Unthought Known. Everything else other than that... I can't remember. Because when I try to remember how those songs go, the chorus for Force of Nature keeps taking over. Now that REALLY is a Force of Nature indeed...

Thursday, 8 October 2009

Kate Strips in the Cold and White

Not a review.
It's a cool movie.
No wait a minute.
I mean... it's a COLD movie.
(It's set in the Antarctica, what did ya expect?)
IT was so COLD that I was practically FREEZING in the cinema.
Or maybe that was just the air-con.

Whiteout was also really white.
Not just that all the actors were white.
Oh wait there was ONE non-white.
Other than that, EVERYTHING was white.
There was hardly any color at all.
Even Kate Beckinsale's underwear was white
Oh yeah, it's got Kate Beckinsale.
(Who was the reason I went to watch this in the first place)

You gotta love a movie that has Kate Beckinsale,
AND has her stripping down to her undies,
Bending over to show off her er.. behind,
Before taking off her top (kenot see anything lah)
And going for a shower.
All within the FIRST TEN MINUTES.
(not much of a Cleavage Rating)
(But the er.. Behind Rating was way off the scale)

Other than that, nothing else to report.
Except that it was cold,
It was white,
And it had Kate Beckinsale stripping.
Story? Just a so so thriller/whodunnit
Not THAT thrilling actually.
And I guessed whodunnit from a mile away.
I think I'll go read the graphic novel instead.