Thursday, 15 October 2009

Inglourious Basterds is Glouriously Brillient Tarantino



Inglourious Basterds
Not a review.
Glouriously basterdly.
Bluody brillient too.
Brilliently bluody too.
It's Tarantino.
And it's AWUESOUME.



The dialoug is classic Tarantino.
Pay attention to all the LOONG conversations.
They're bloody irreverant,
And bloody brilliant.
And Brad Pitt gets the best damn lines.
No wait.
It's Hans Landa who gets the best lines.
And the way he SAYS them is bloody brillient.
AWUESOUME.



Yeah, that Jew Hunter Hans Landa was great.
He's like, the bad guy.
But WHAT A BAD GUY.
He'd drink your milk,
Have a nice conversation with you first,
And then CUT YOU DOWN.
AWUESOUME.



That MĂ©lanie Laurent chick is quite hot.
Looks a bit like Uma Thurman from some angles.
And there's Diane Kruger.
She NEVER lets me down.
Even when she's in crap like National Treasure.
Her Cleavage Rating always picks the movie up.
This time? Cleavage Rating 8.5!
AWUESOUME.



I wish there were more of the Basterds though.
Or at least one of them indulgent Nazi-killing sprees
But at least we saw the Jew Bear bashing someone's head in.
And we had Hugo Stiglitz!
And Aldo the Apache!
And er... Little Man.
Never mind.
Still AWUESOUME.



And screw that Valkyrie Tom Cruise bullshit.
Sure, World War II didn't end this way.
But who cares? He's QUENTIN TARANTINO.
And if QUENTIN TARANTINO says the war ended this way,
Then it BLOODY WELL DID end this way.
Why?
Because he's AWUESOUME, that's why.

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