Thursday, 5 November 2009

The End of The World Is About 40 Minutes Too Long...



2012
Not a review.
TIDAL WAVES!
VOLCANOES!
EARTHQUAKES!
The White House getting PWNED by a SHIP!
It could only be a Roland Emmerich movie.
He blew up the White House before, remember?



OMG SO LONG.
IT's about 2 hours 40 minutes.
And 40 minutes too long, if you ask me.
It was fun watching everything get blown up
Smash, crushed, thrown off cliffs, catching fire,
But once that was done with,
You just wanted to get it over with.



The special effects were of course, brilliant.
I've always got a kick out of seeing things get destroyed onscreen.
(Maybe that's why I liked Transformers so much)
(Oh wait, that was because I actually like Transformers, oh well)
Los Angeles getting ripped apart was especially great.
But why didn't Malaysia pay them some money,
To blow up the Petronas Twin Towers?
The PM would have enjoyed the irony...



Somehow I really didn't care for the characters.
Not John Cusack, not his wife, not his kids,
Not that Russian dude with a voice like a tuba,
Not the Lethal Weapon President Who Hunted Predators,
Not the scientist who tries to saves us all.
The only dude I liked was Woody Harrelson's mad man,
Remember, you heard it first from CHARLIEEEEE!!!



It's about Mother Earth laying the smackdown on us humans,
In a motherfucking BIG way.
Sure, an American discovered it,
And the Americans initiated the Save The World campaign.
But hey, we Chinese rock.
Score one for Made in China products!



I wonder what Roland Emmerich's gonna destroy next.
He destroyed famous landmarks in Independence Day,
He destroyed New York City in Godzilla,
He destroyed half a continent in The Day After Tomorrow,
He destroyed HISTORY with 10000 BC
And now he's wiped out billions of people all over the world.
What next? Destroying Jupiter? Saturn? The SUN?

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