Wednesday, 2 December 2009

If Wind Don't Blow, Cloud Cannot Come. LOL



Storm Warriors.
風雲II
Not a review.
I heard the best translation ever,
Of one of the lines from the movie.
Someone in the cinema was translating:
"Wind and Cloud need each other,
"If Wind don't blow, then Cloud cannot come."
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL



Anywa,
This should be called Storm Posers instead.
It seems like all they do was strike cool poses.
Not yet fight - pose first.
After fight - pose again.
No fight in sight - pose also.
Wanna drink water also got pose.
Yes I know you wanna be faithful to the comic,
Which has bloody a lot of cool poses also.
But it just looks silly when real people do it lar.




The effects were not bad.
Beginning battle scene very strange,
Mix of 300 + Sin City set in China.
That Million Swords Stance is awesome though,
Though all the qi gong fighting a bit absurd at times.
I prefer the actual CLANG CLANG BIFF SMACK fighitng,
Not the HADOKEN! HADOKEN! type.



WHAT IS UP WITH THE WOMEN IN THIS MOVIE??
They don't add anything to it at all!
They don't do ANYTHING but WHINE WHINE WHINE
OH! Wind! Please don't do that!
OH! Cloud, please don't kill him!
And they are DAMN ANNOYING OK.
OMG KILL HER OFF ALREADY.
And there's not even a bit of cleavage in sight. Sien.



And the bad guys.
How'd they managed to convince Simon Yam to wear THAT?
He looks like Spider-man rogue Rhino.
Looks damn stupid lor.
Especially when walking around with that clank clank sound.
Nicholas Tse also damn useless.



And the STORY OMG.
WHAT story?
It's like they spent all the money on the special effects,
Then forgot to spend some on a decent script.
New Moon was just a bunch of kids mooning over each other.
Nothing else.
This is the opposite.
It's two grown men fighting each other. Nothing else.
FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE.
(Ok I exaggerate a bit. It's just one HALF of the movie)



In case you were wondering,
They changed the story a bit.
Most of it is still there.
But it's a little disappointing.
Since the comic story was damn awesome already.
Why couldn't they stick to it?
And isn't Wind supposed to be like, FASTER THAN WIND?
Why he so slow like kura-kura here wan?
Sigh.... I think I'll go read the comics again.
Just to cleanse my memory of this movie...

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