Friday, 29 May 2009

Happy 21st Century Green Day!



No, not THAT sort of Green Day. I've been doing enough 'green' stories to make my brain turn green (which is actually why I haven't been updating here this past week, but that's another story), so the last thing I wanna do right now is preach to you about being green.

Green Day's first album since 2004's American Idiot was released last week, and it's a cracker. I've been listening to it on loop for the past week now (I need to stop that or I'll never get around to reviewing those other albums I got), and I like it almost as much as American Idiot. In fact, the more I listen to it, the more bits and pieces of almost EVERY song have been getting stuck in my head, popping up unexpectedly and I find myself humming them subconciously sometimes. Weird.

I know you may have heard the first single Know Your Enemy on the radios already, but that isn't even the best song here. My personal favorite songs so far are the title track, Before The Lobotomy, 21 Guns, The two Gloria songs, American Eulogy... heck, almost EVERY song, actually.

Last year was almost hopelessly devoid of an album that I could listen to EVERY SONG over and over again, AND want to know how to sing them at the same time. Heck, I haven't done that or listened to an album this much since... Radiohead's In Rainbows. No, not even the Snow Patrol, Killers or Coldplay albums. Even THOSE had some songs that I skipped all the time. Not this album though. So far, I haven't skipped a single song, and am just happy to let it run on and on and on and on....

Viva Le Green Day! Now go plant some trees! Or assassinate some crappy emo bands. Whatever works, man.

Friday, 22 May 2009

Terminator Variations: Coming to a cinema near you!

Terminator Devotion
In the middle of the war between Skynet and the Resistance, a T-1000 and a T-X meet on the battlefield. Despite the incompatibility of their motherboards, their wires cross and sparks fly. Rated R for excessive inter-changeable sex via morphing technology.

Terminator Revolutions
In a shocking twist, it turns out that Skynet has been using human beings as batteries, and Christian Bale's John Connor was merely part of a program. The REAL LIFE John Connor actually looks like Keanu Reeves, and the T-800 is not called Arnie, but Mr. Anderson.

Terminator Transformation
Directed by Michael Bay, this movie is set in an alternate reality where John Connor is played by Shia Lebeouf and is still a teenager. One day, a police car tries to run John down. The police car turns out to be a Transforming Terminator sent back by Skynet to kill John before he can destroy the All Spark that will power Skynet. Fortunately, his future self has also sent back in time a non-transforming T-X Terminator model that takes on the shape of Megan Fox and kicks the bad Terminator's ass and makes out with John Connor, giving him magical balls of steel.

Terminator Education
In an attempt to appeal to the pre-teen market, Zack Efron plays John Connor in high school, while Robert Pattison plays a T-1000 model sent back to make sure he never makes it into the high school basketball team; because that is where John meets his future wife and fellow resistance fighter - cheerleader Kate (played by Vanessa Hudgens). Features a cameo by Arnie as a kindergarden teacher.

Terminator Playstation
The year is 2009, and instead of Skynet, an evil Microsoft X-Box has become sentient and taken over human beings via hypnotic subliminal message transmitted through an evil variation of a hit video game called Guitar Hero: Rick Astley. John Connor is a video game genius who has to save the world by plugging into the system using a modified Sony Playstation and never giving it up, or letting it down.

Terminator Termination
Exactly the same as Terminator Salvation but with a variant ending where a T-1000 that looks like James Cameron comes on set and shoots McG in the head, Arnie rides in on a bike and rescues Moon Bloodgood by slinging her over his shoulder, and leaves Christian Bale's John Connor to the mercy of the T-1000.

Terminator Boredom
Skynet has won the war. The human race is completely wiped out. Watch as Skynet twiddles its virtual thumbs and wonders what to do next.

Terminate That Salivating Fool of a Director!



Terminator Salvation.
Not a Review.
HEY YOU!
YEAH YOU OVER THERE!
YES YOU, McG!
WHAT THE F**K IS THIS!!
You ruined the FRANCHISE, you AMATEUR!
What happened to 'giving it what it's worth'?
What happened to 'if its a R, then it's a R'!
Bluff people wan!



SALVATION?
You call THIS Salvation?
It should be fucking called SALIVATION
Because you DROOLED all over it,
And walked ladidadida all over it
And completely RUINED it!
This ain't the Terminator!
It's some mindless action movie PRETENDING to be part of the franchise.
Even though T3 was crap, it had an awesome twist in the end!



And you, Mr. Bale!
What were you THINKING?
Why the FUCK does your John Connor sound like Batman?
Not even Bruce Wayne, mind you.
FUCKING GUTTURAL PERMANENT SORE THROAT VOICED BATMAN.
Even that LIGHTING guy sounds better than that!



Oh, but good call on that Moon Bloodgood chick
How hot is she, huh?
How cool is her name, huh?
So many Os.
I'd like to give HER multiple O's as well.
Hur hur hur.
Too bad about Bryce though.
Bloody waste of a perfectly hot actress.



This should be called Terminator Boredom instead.
Because it was so MEH. And so BLAH.
And after the movie you can't even remember WTF happened.
Even though it was crap, at least T3 had a hot T-X,
With adjustable boobs, FTW!
McG's Terminators were just BORING.
Boring, overkill, idealess.
And so fucking easy to kill wan...
BAH! McG MUST DIE!



CLICK HERE The Complete List Of Eyeris' Movie Not-Reviews!

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

I'd Pay double to Watch Mike and Sully Kick These Monsters' Asses



Monsters vs. Aliens
Not A Review
YAY MONSTERS!
They're back!
The furry monster!
The many legged one!
The one-eyed one!
The giant woman!
Eh wait a minute...



Oh wait. This ain't Pixar.
It's got nothing to do with Monsters Inc., noobs.
This. is. DREAMWORKS.
It's a whole different set of monsters you've never seen before.
Or maybe you have...
Remember The Fly? The Blob? The Creature From The Black Lagoon?
Too young to remember those?
Then surely you remember GODZILLA?



Well, those monsters ain't here.
But we DO get The Cockroach, The B.O.B. and The Missing Link.
Oh, and a giant Insectosaurus.
And of course, the 40-foot Woman
a.k.a. Ginormica
a.k.a. er... Susan.



If you can, watch this in 3D
It's awesome damn pretty.
The best part is the paddle ball.
It looks like it's gonna hit you!
The movie itself... oklar, quite fun.
Especially if you are familiar with the old monsters.
The B.O.B. jello thingy is quite funny.
So is Hugh Laurie as the roach.



Donno why Rainn Wilson is so popular though.
I can't stand his shtick.
And the president... some parts funny, most parts lame.
And Witherspoon was a little annoying in the beginning.
Whine whine whine whine.
But everything else was quite fun.
It's silly, it's a little mad, but quite funny.



I can just see Dreamworks doing a sequel now.
Adding Dracula, Wolfman, Frankenstein etc.
Throwing everything but the kitchen drainpipe monster in,
And making what is a solid movie into a lousy franchise,
Like they did to Shrek.
This was a decent movie, Dreamworks.
Leave it alone.
Oh, and Up is still WAAAAY better than this.
Hehe.

Monday, 18 May 2009

Left Right Left Right Coldplay Hotplay FREEEEE!



In case you didn't know already, Coldplay is giving out their new live album Left Right Left Right Left on their website for FREE.

Since I saw them live in Singapore recently, I'd been hoping they will come up with an EP or something with the Will Champion-sung Death Will Never Conquer, and the acoustic versions of The Hardest Part and Speed of Sound. The good news is, the first two are hear. The bad news... Speed of Sound is not. Sigghhh.

Anyway, if you were one of those fellas (like me) who just could not get that WHOOAAAAA part of Viva la Vida out of your head after the concert, you really have to get this album. If you WEREN'T at the concert, well, get this so you can see what you missed out on. Heh heh.

The album will be available for free download until Coldplay play their final 2009 tour date, so better geddit now!

Click the image below to geddit!

Saturday, 16 May 2009

How The Big Bad Wolf Sale Devoured My Money...



Place: Big Bad Wolf Book Sale
Total number of books: 33
Money spent: RM117 on first day, RM124 on second day.
TOTAL DAMAGE: RM241

Signs of domesticity. Those cookbooks only cost me RM5 each!



Fantasy & Sci-Fi, including five Philip K. Dicks at RM8 EACH, and an entire SET of Garth Nix's Seventh Tower series for RM5 PER BOOK!



Books that make me look intellectual:



Comics, very little choices, thank god, or my damage would be MORE:



And that's not all. THIS is the girlfriend's stash... THIRTY SEVEN BOOKS for a total of... RM298! That's an average of RM8 PER BOOK!



Needless to say, we're VERY AFRAID of going back there again, even with the thought of even MORE boxes being opened today and tomorrow....

Friday, 15 May 2009

How To Shop Like Eyeris At A Book Warehouse Sale: An Expert Guide

  • Bring your own bag, preferably one of those canvas shopping bags they sell at the supermarket. It's easier to carry than baskets, or those cardboard boxes they usually give you. Plus you don't even have to take plastic bags when you check out!

  • When browsing, don't bother trying to take in every single title. Just skim through the pile or row (you can use your finger to guide you through) and only pick up books if the cover/name/author catches your eye.

  • If you see something you THINK you might buy, put it in the bag first. Because if you put it back on the pile, you probably won't be able to find it later when you WANT to buy it.

  • Take first, sort later. Take the books you want first, then before checking out, take everything out and sort them into piles of 1) I MUST HAVE IT; 2) If got extra money then buy; 3) I can live without it.

  • If you go to a warehouse sale with the intention of only looking for ONE or TWO SPECIFIC books, good luck with that. That ain't what book warehouse sales are for, bub. The whole point is to go there and BROWSE and HUNT for books that you would normally buy (or have THOUGHT of buying but were turned off by the price) at lower prices. Keywords here are BROWSE and HUNT.

  • If you're the sort who really can't control yourself when confronted with thousands of super cheap books at crazy low prices, then FORCE yourself to limit your purchasing by bringing ONLY RM100 or RM150 to the sale, and LEAVE THE DAMN CREDIT CARD AT HOME.

  • If you're not sure whether you already have a book (because like me, you've bought so many before that you can't keep track of which ones you have), then DON'T BUY IT. Chances are you already DO have it, and even if you don't, consider it as money saved for OTHER books.



Will add more when I think of more...

It was BIG, it was BAD, and it Wolfed down all my money




Went to the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale yesterday around 2pm, and it's pretty damn good. The crowd wasn't so big when I went, though apparently it was 'madness' in the morning, according to Jaqueline (of Bookxcess fame, also behind Big Bad Wolf Books).

Lots of good stuff around - His Dark Materials books for only RM10-15 (forgot to check the prices), fiction and non-fiction novels for RM8 only (MOST of the books were RM8), cookbooks for RM3-5, Magazines for RM3.

Lots of fantasy stuff, though a lot of it were Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance stuff. Saw lots of Wheel of Times too. Lots of Archers, Grishams, Ludlums, and so on around too. Apparently the kids section was good too, but by the time I got there most of it was gone. They MIGHT have more today and in the weekend though. Lots of unopened boxes around...

What did I get? Well, I bought a total of SEVENTEEN books, for a grand total of.... RM117. That's just crazy. I've never gotten so many books for so little money EVER.

I got some good cookbooks (!), a Guide to Drizzt (which I nearly bought from Kino a few months back for RM75...), some Garth Nix Seventh Tower books (RM5 each!), and lots of RM8 novels by Cormac McCarthy's No Country For Old Men, Alice Sebold's Almost Noon, Haruki Murakami etc etc.

Now... excuse me while I go see what else I can find today... :-p

Thursday, 14 May 2009

A Day In The Cinema, A Night At The Museum



Night At The Museum: Battle of The Smithsonian
A.k.a. Night At The Museum 2
Not a Review.
I don't know why I put myself through this.
I HATE Ben Stiller.
I can't stand his angry loser guy schtick
The only movie I could stand him was that Mary movie.
Even then it was because of Cameron Diaz



Ok fine, this movie wasn't that bad actually,
It's not logical, but then it wasn't MEANT to be logical.
It's pure, dumb, mindless entertainment.
And Stiller was actually tolerable here.
At least he wasn't so loser-ish.
And only got slapped by monkeys once.
And you didn't want to slap him so much.



What I REALLY REALLY COULDN'T stand,
Was the way they try too hard too seem hip and cool.
Like getting the exhibits to talk like a hip-hop artiste,
Like getting cherubs to rap,
Like all adding in all those needless parodies.
It was funny at first.
Then it got REALLY tired.
Get new jokes already.



Some of the jokes were not really funny either.
Ivan the AWESOME? Seriously?
And enough with the monkey slapping already.
It wasn't funny the first time you did it.
But some were pretty funny though.
Like the Einsteins.
Like the White House scene.
Heck, any scene with the little miniatures is pretty funny.



And I love Amy Adams.
She's so sweet and cute.
You just wanna melt when you see her smile.
Her whole face LIGHTS UP.
No cleavage rating though.
But she's got a nice fine... er... behind.
Not sure if I wanna see her in Doubt.
She's a NUN there for gawds sake.

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Neil Gaiman is So Cool That He Gets a Whole Post Here About How Cool He is

Neil Gaiman is so cool he writes children's books that are too scary for adults.

Neil Gaiman is so cool he got the rainbows to add a stripe of black so they would match his clothes.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that his Twitter following is the size of the population Iceland AND Greenland. And he didn't need no stinking race with CNN to do that.

Neil Gaiman is so cool DC had to hire him to clean up Grant Morrison's Batman mess.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that he calls his dog Dog. All you mere mortals have to call YOUR dogs Spot.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that his haikus are regarded as epic poems.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that his books don't just stop doors. They stop trains and buses as well.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that mere actors can no longer handle his characters. They have to use puppets instead.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that he has elves managing his website.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that he can get away with calling his characters Nobody when they are actually Somebody.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that he doesn't need a haircut suit the occasion. The occasion cuts its hair to suit HIM.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame wants to induct him even though he ain't a musician.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that he doesn't need to cheat Death. He cheats ON Death instead.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that when he doesn't just dog-ear his books, he turns them into with tiny origami swans.

Neil Gaiman is so cool that Alan Moore cut all ties with Hollywood because he knew his movies wouldn't be able to compete with Neil Gaiman's.

Ooooh Look, I have Claws! Emo emo emo emo emo.



X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Not a Review.
Yes I know this is old news.
I only watched it last week.
AFTER it opened for two weeks.
But I just HAD to say something about it.
Because it was so blah.



Ok, it wasn't THAT bad.
But it wasn't really good either.
It's better than X-Men 3's sordid mess,
But not good enough to even get close to X-Men 1 and 2.
To much damn emo-ing.
And the showing off claws thing got old really fast.



Oooh look, I have bone claws!
Emo emo emo emo emo.
Oohh look at my shiny claws!
Emo emo emo emo emo emo.
Oooh, I did the middle finger thing with my claws! (Again!)
Emo emo emo emo emo.
Oooh, I can cut through everything with my claws!
Emo emo emo emoe elmo.
Oooh look I can light fires with my claws!
Emo emo emo emo emo.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz



Long story short,
I got sick of Wolverine halfway through.
At least Gambit was cool.
But don't really like the actor's look.
Loved the cards though, AWESOME!
Sabretooth was... zzzzzzzzzzzzz
And how come he hops around like Toad?
I half expected him to stick his tongue out and eat a fly.
Deadpool was... WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM!!??!!?!!!



The chick was pretty cute though.
At certain angles.
Very exotic look.
Can't remember if she showed any cleavage though.
So no cleavage rating.
Cyclops! Emma Frost! Quicksilver!
Er.. Blob. Wraith. Zzzzzzzzzzz.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Angels & Demons Has Better Hair Than Da Vinci Crap



Angels And Demons.
Not a Review.
Better than Da Vinci Crap
MUCH better, actually.
Better plot,
Better pace,
Better puzzles,
Better Hanks,
Better hair...



Maybe because I didn't bother reading the book this time.
Would I have enjoyed Da Willy Code
Dialog still felt a bit forced.
But not a bad ride actually.
The puzzles were a lot more interesting,
And the clues were harder, I think.
Or maybe it's because I'm more familiar with the Rome landmarks.



But whatever.
I've always been a sucker for good puzzle movies.
And movies where the heroes go treasure hunting,
Or following clues to a puzzle.
Da Vinci Crap wasn't very good in that department.
The first National Treasure was not bad.
The second one was crap.
Angels & Demons was so so.



Tom Hanks more convincing in this one.
The last one you kept getting distracted by his stupid hairstyle.
The chick quite hot also.
No cleavage rating, but she's cute.
Not as cute as Audrey Tautou, of course.
And oh look, it's Obi Wan!
From Jedi to priest.
It's like going from one religion to the other!



Sooo...
Do I want to read the book now?
Hell no.
I HATED Da Vinci Code,
So much that I've sworn off Dang Brown's books.
Maybe that it's a good thing I didn't read this book.
Maybe I have enjoyed the movie more because of that.

Monday, 11 May 2009

Bad Book Blogger. BAAAAD Book Blogger.

I've been rather slow on the uptake when it comes to books lately. Haven't finisheda book in AGES, and haven't even bought a single book in almost 4 months (oh wait, do cookbooks and home improvement books count? You know you're getting to domesticated when you start hanging out in the cookbook and DIY section...).

HEck, I even missed the MPH Warehouse Sale recently, and god knows I love THOSE.

Oh well, at least there's something to look forward to this week. The people behind Booksxcess have come up with the Big Bad Wolf Books, which will be having it's inaugural book sale this week, from 14 (Thu) to 18 (Mon) May 2009.

According to their leaflet, all books will be between RM5 and RM20 only... Awesome....

Here're the details:

Friday, 8 May 2009

A Flooded End to a Crazy Two Weeks

Yes, I've been a BAAAAD blogger. I've been too damn lazy and/or caught up with work that I can't be arsed to think of something I particularly want to blog about these days. Hence the number of Filler Posts Disguised As Proper Updates lately.

It's also been a crazy past two weeks. In between flying to San Francisco to visit Pixar Animation Studios (more on that trip later), my baby nephew Aiden, and flying back just in time for my own birthday party, and then flying off the next day for a much needed holiday it was already a mad, mad sequence of events as it is.

Mana tau, two hours before we were about to board the plane to Langkawi, I got a call from my parents telling me my house was FLOODED. yes, FLOODED.


Long story short, a pipe burst in my house, and thanks to a combination of uneven floors and unfortunately clogged drain holes, there was a half-inch deep flood in my living room, bedroom and library. All my movie posters are gone (except for maybe 1/8 of them) and some of the furniture too. Books, toys and electronics are safe though, thank god.

My living room looks like disaster central now. All the furniture has been upended and turned upside down to dry, and I've had to heart-brokenly throw out almost my entire movie poster collection. That's five years worth of collecting, and an estimated collective worth of at least RM2000 for the whole collection. SIGGGHHHH.

Happily, after two days of drying, the furniture is finally dry again, albeit a little fucked up at the bottom. Time to get back to rearranging the furniture, and maybe jig things round a little. If there are any positives to the whole disaster, it's that at least my floor is nice and clean, and I was forced to throw out some stuff that I would otherwise be too damn sentimental about to do so otherwise.

It's like I was moving in all over again. Hmmm, maybe I should have ANOTHER drunkened re-housewarming party after everything is done. YAY!

Thursday, 7 May 2009

The return of Megatron? HAH! They should rename it The Return of Meganporn!

I just saw the trailer for this movie coming out end of June, and I can't wait to see it. And it stars this hot young chick called Megan Fox. The trailer is awesome, and full of Megan Fox goodness.

Check it out. It's got Megan looking real sweet next to some ugly dude...



... Megan looking scared...



...Megan looking over you...



...Megan sashaying sexily while on the phone...



...Megan screaming while showing a generous amount of cleavage...



...Megan in a classic 'Behind You!' scene...



...Megan crying...



... Megan screaming at Shia...



...Megan doing nothing but look pretty...



...Megan looking very sultry...



And the money shot... Megan straddling a bike.



Hubba Hubba. She's come a LOOONG way since her little pink scooter in the first movie huh?

What first movie? Why, Transformers of course. This one is supposed to be called Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen or something. And apparently it has something to do with giant robots. And the return of some Megatron dude. Who cares? As far as I'm concerned they should have called this the Return of Meganporn instead.

Oh, what, you want pictures of the robots too? Ok fine...

Here's Optimus Prime:



Here's Optimus Prime kicking ass with TWO, yes TWO swords!



Here's Optimus Prime getting his ass kicked by Starscream:



And flying far far away as a result of that ass kicking. Ouch, Prime.



Then there's this little robot called Devastator. See how tiny he is, climbing up that giant pyramid!



Look how cute he is stomping on trucks!



Oh, and what else? There's this OLD Transformer (he walks with a cane, WTF) who transforms into the most AWESOME jet ever made... the SR-71 Lockheed BLACKBIRD, the fastest jet in the world!



Ok, enough robots? Not enough Megan? Then you REALLY MUST check out this video by clicking HERE or the picture below.

You won't regret it. I promise.



Or if you really prefer to see more bots and less boobs, go check out the trailer by clicking the logo below...