Wednesday, 10 February 2010

What A True Waste Of Alcohol, you Legend!

True Legend
Not a review.
Not really a legend lor.
The movie I mean
Ok, it's directed by Yuen Woo Ping,
So the action and fights kickass
But the story is all over the place.

Oh look, it's that Zhao Wenzhuo dude,
The guy who fought Jet Li in Fong Sai Yuk,
and took over as Wong Fe Hong.
Now he's a bit drunk.
And has a real hobo look going,
But damn he has a hot wife.

Oklah, the fighting was good.
I love the drunken fist.
I think it's awesome that drunk dudes can fight so well.
Doesn't work so well in real life, mind.
If you're really that drunk in real life,
You won't even be able to walk straight,
Let alone swing a fist.

Oh, it's about this So Hak Yi beggar dude,
Who drinks a lot and does the drunken fist.
I always get upset when I see these Chinese kungfu guys drink though.
What's with the whole spilling wine down the chin thing?
What a waste of good alcohol.
If your mouth kenot hold so much wine don't pout so much lar!

And what the fuck was Jay Chou in this movie for?
To sell more tickets? To attract more girls?
Lord of Wushu my ass lah.
He just looks like he's going to hold a concert,
And that bad guy's hoarse voice is so weird,
Like Batman trying to do a falsetto.

And WHAT THE FUCK was with the ending?
Why is it always some stupid tournament?
Why do they ALWAYS end up fighting a bunch of angmohs?
And not just any angmohs,
It's always some BIG, TALL wrestler or boxer.
(Like Shaolintiger, without the beer gut and with more muscles. hehe)
I really, really hate it when Chinese movies end that way.
It's so cliche, so boring, so unoriginal.


spiller said...

holycow is that David Carradine at the end?

Anonymous said...

Your review is so honest, love it!

Anonymous said...

omg I'm a massive fan of martial arts movies but WTF WAS WITH ThIS FILM??

Watched the end googled what the f**k kind of ending is true legend and found this site.

Most random movie I have ever seen and I'm chinese!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

The ending is totally f**ked up. What a waste of good talent. Zhao Wenzhuo performed really well in this movie, but the story writer tried too hard to please the chinese audiences. Sad.... I am chinese and I can't stand it. It just degrade the movie.

Viagra Online said...

Actually that couldn't ever be possible. Two drunk dudes can not fight well in real life. Their balance would be affected incredibly. Zhao Wenzhuo is a tough fighter I admire him.