Tuesday, 3 August 2010
The Last Airbender.
Not a review.
Oh, this isn't THAT bad.
Just ignore the bad dialogue,
Ignore the silly plot,
Ignore the lousy acting,
Ignore the disjointed flow,
Ignore the humourless tone...
Oh who am I kidding?
Just ignore the whole bloody movie.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ATROCITY???
WHERE IS THE JOY, THE FUN,
THE HUMOUR, THE ADVENTURE,
THE INNOCENCE AND THE INVENTIVENESS?
EVERYTHING THAT MADE THE CARTOON SO AWESOME!
Where is it, M. NIGHT SUCKMALAN!!??!!??
I REALLY wanted to like it.
It's M. Night Shyamalan.
(Whom I'd been defending all this while, even after The Happening)
And it's AVATAR, one of my favorite cartoons EVER.
HOW could he get it so so wrong?
HOW could he COMPLETELY miss the point by SO MUCH?
It's a CARTOON for gods sake.
His kids should be ASHAMED of him for ruining their cartoon!
Even if you never watched the cartoon,
This is still one horrendously bad movie.
I think the fact that I loved the cartoon made it even WORSE.
He tried to cram 20 episodes of awesome,
All into a measly two-hour movie.
It's SO SO BAD,
That I had to go home and watch the cartoon again,
Just to cleanse my mind of the memory of this farce.
All the awesome stuff in the cartoon... WASTED.
Appa, Momo, Bumi, Iroh... all awesome in the cartoon.
All WASTED by Suckmalan's vampiric humour sucking ability.
Even Sokka, the comedy relief in the cartoon,
Is turned into some BLOODY TWILIGHT BROODING FAGGOT
He doesn't even crack a SINGLE JOKE for fucks sake.
Heck I don't think anyone even SMILED the entire movie.
And the fighting?
It's like it was made by an angmoh who opened a fortune cookie,
And saw the words 'KUNGFU' inside it.
Ok the kid can fight,
But goddamn you suck at making fight scenes, Suckmalan.
Heck, I'm not sure you even know how to make a proper movie anymore.
DON'T BOTHER SPENDING MONEY ON THIS MOVIE.
Take your hard-earned money,
And go buy the DVD for the series.
Yes, ALL THREE AWESOME SEASONS of the cartoon.
At least THAT won't be a bloody waste of your money and time.