Thursday, 21 October 2010

Taken > Takers > Tekken



Takers.
Not a review.
"We're takers.. we take"
WHOA.
What a brilliant line.
Let's say it again.
"We're takers.. That's what we do, we take"
WOW.
NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.



There's Anakin, who's the best one there,
There's Paul Walker, who doesn't seem to do much,
There's Idris Elba, whose British accent is pretty cool,
There's Michael Ealy, who gets the girl,
There's Chris Brown, who runs around a lot,
And there's T.I., whose voice is fucking annoying.
What are their specialties? Damned if I know.



It's not a BAD movie.
But what a waste of a decent cast.
Too much time spent on Matt Dillon and his moping,
Too little time spent on the heist itself.
And any film that has Zoe Saldana,
But only gives her like, 3 minutes of screentime,
Deserves to be taken away and shot.



Heist movies whould be about the HEIST.
Who cares about the main cop's family?
Who cares about that junkie sister?
All we want is a good heist.
We don't care who lives or who dies,
We don't care if the cop has a daughter or not,
We just want to see a good HEIST.



What's the point of having such a big crew?
So that each one has a role to play.
Ocean's Eleven had tech specialists, conmen, muclemen, etc.
Here? we don't even know who is who half the time.
Or what they're there for, for that matter.



So yeah,
I'm not taken with Takers.
Its better than Tekken.
But not as great as Taken.
So in conclusion:
Taken > Takers > Tekken
Take THAT!

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