Friday, 30 April 2010

ONE MORE WEEK for guaranteed happiness!

This is a special community service announcement.


You now only have ONE MORE WEEK
to go watch Toy Story 1 and 2,
Back to back
In THREE DEE!


So if you haven't already, GO WATCH IT NOW!
(while everyone else is lining up for the 2 IM2s....

HAPPINESS GUARANTEED!

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

KLUNK KLUNK KLUNK WOOPAH KAPOW KLUNK!



Iron Man 2
Not a Review.
KLUNK!
KLUNK KLUNK!
KLUNK KLUNK KAPOW!
KLUNK KLUNK WOOPAH!
KLUNK KAPOW KLUNK KLUNK KABOOM!
KLUNK KLUNK KLUNK!
KLUNK!!! KLUNK!!! KLUNK!!!



I swear If I hear ONE MORE armor on armor KLUNK I'll go mad.
Enough with the armored villains already!
The first one already had two refrigerators going at each other.
This time, we've got LOTS of bad refrigerators,
Going a TWO good refrigerators
(Ok one has a KICKASS Gatling gun on its shoulder)
(WAR MACHINE YEAH!)
(And on that note, that is one hell of a SUIT-case, Tony!)




Did you have VERY HIGH expectations for this?
Well, DON'T.
Sure, it's great fun, entertaining and awesome,
But it's still a little underwhelming.
It's everything the first movie was,
But without that WOW factor.
Still, go watch it though, it's still lots of fun.



Robert Downey Jr. STILL ROCKS though.
Tony Stark was actually more interesting than Iron Man.
Don Cheadle is not bad either.
As the NEW Rhodey a.k.a. WAR MACHINE.
This movie more character development than actual action.
Slows down a bit in the middle though.
But action still pretty damn good.
Just a bit... er... meh, seen that before.



Oooh wait, what's this?
Scarlett Johansson?
Hubba hubba!
Scarlett Johansson in a BLACK LEATHER CATSUIT?
HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA!
Scarlett Johansson in a black leather catsuit KICKING ASS?
HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA WOOOOHOOO!
Drool drool drool....
Cleavage Rating 9! (but of course, she's SCARLETT JOHANSSON)



Oooh, and that's MICKEY ROURKE!
Now THAT is one hell of a bad guy.
Those whips are damn freaking cool.
And that Justin Hammer dude is BAD.
Freaking annoying, but BAAAAD.
At least not as annoying as the bad guy in The Losers.



I'm pretty stoked for the Avengers movie though.
If they manage to pull it off, that is.
There were a few Easter Eggs here.
There was S.H.I.E.L.D., and a certain shield.
And of course, that little teaser after the credits.
It's HAMMER TIME!
(BTW, I wouldn't mind a Black Widow spin-off)
(MORE SCARLETT IN BLACK LEATHER PLEASE!)

Friday, 23 April 2010

Donnie Yen vs. Sammo Hung! HELL YEAH!



Ip Man 2
葉問2: 宗師傳奇
Not a Review.
WAAAAY better than any other kungfu movie this year.
Eat your heart out, True Legend!
It's like the first movie,
Got great parts, got not so great parts.
The first movie had better set pieces,
But the flow of the film was much better here.
But as usual, the FIGHTING is AWESOME
Huh? Story? Who cares?



Like I said before, Donnie Yen always kicks ass.
And boy does he kick a lot of ass here.
He even uses KNIVES here ok.
(ok, just the flat of the blade, no slash here slash there)
But add SAMMO HUNG into the movie,
And you've got one heck of a kungfu movie.



HOLY SHIT
SAMMO HUNG VERSUS DONNIE YEN!
ON A TABLE!
FIGHTING! (Don't get the wrong idea, folks)
So cool you don't really want it to end.
Now THAT is REAL kungfu showdown.



OK, so there's a Mat Salleh bad guy again.
Yes, that bloody old Chinese kungfu movie cliche again.
But at least this fight wasn't as bad as most other movies
Especially when you compare it with True Legend's LOUSY finale.
This one was damn brutal ok.
But you really need to see how Donnie Yen takes him out.
(OF COURSE he takes him out, DUH)



There's ONE move Donnie used on the Mat Salleh,
That was SO COOL I wished they would repeat it,
IN SLOW MOTION.
Just so you could see the beauty of that move.
It was THAT awesome.
You just have to see it to believe it.



OK I have a few complaints.
WHY did they edit the fights so closely?
I know they are supposed to look damn fast,
But sometimes you just wanna see the moves properly.
A lot of the fighting was spoilt by the blurry jerky camerawork
And what's with all the pointless characters.
What was the point of Simon Yam?
Oh well, not that I really cared.
Like I said, story? Who cares?
JUST KEEP FIGHTING! YEAH!

Thursday, 22 April 2010

The Losers: Not Winners, but Not Losers either.



The Losers.
Not a review.
Not really a loser.
But not a winner either.
More like a draw,
And winning by penalty kicks.



WIN: Set pieces from the comic!
The telekinesis scene!
The bazooka!
The chopperjack!
WOOHOO!



WIN: Zoe Saldana
Cleavage rating not very high,
But Ass Rating is off the charts.
Oooh yeah, work it baby.
Hubba hubba woot woot!
And she can work a BAZOOKA too!
That IS one badass chick.



LOSE: Damn bodoh and annoying bad guy
Are you trying to be funny, dude?
Because you're trying too hard.
You're not even close to being funny
You're just very very cringe-worthy.
That's not being cool, it's just being annoying.



WIN: Cougar
The silent sniper types are always cool.
And CHECK OUT THOSE RIFLES.
DAMN, if I were into guns,
I'd get a replica of those in a heartbeat.
Ones that don't kill people, of course.



WIN: Jeffery Dean Morgan
LOSE: Pooch. Not as cool as the comic one.
WIN: Captain America as a smart-mouthed geek
LOSE: Some of Cap's dialogue a little forced
WIN: The action is GREAT, OTT, just like the comic!
LOSE: WHAT THE FUCK KINDA LOGIC IS THAT?



No, it's not The A-Team,
But it's still damn a lot of fun!
I wonder if they'll make a sequel outta this.
I wanna see that ACTIVE VOLCANO setpiece, godammit!
(er, with more lava and less ash please kthxbai)
And more Zoe is always good.
I think I'll go get the rest of the comics now.

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Rip It Up, Curl It Up!

Last week, me, LL and Reta went all the way to KLCC to stare at Elfie's ass.



Now that is some ass, eh? HAHAHAHA. Best advertisement for Ripcurl EVAR!

We were there for the official Ripcurl launch of their flagship KLCC store on the third floor, and there was food, a runway fashion show and some er... local hip-hop artists performing.

Two things were great for me that day - the food, and the shopping after the event.

The food was pretty damn goooood. Apparently there some special cupcakes as well, but I was too busy stuffing my mouth with the awesome O'Briens sandwiches to notice. Would have been awesome if there were beer to wash it down, but we WERE in the middle of freaking KLCC in a healthy sports lifestyle fashion line's event after all... NO DRUNKARDS ALLOWED. Damn.

After that we went up to the store where we were given a 40% discount for anything Ripcurl and Mooks in the store, and I bought a nice little shirt, while LL bought a handbag. Not bad, not bad. And that's on TOP of the cool caps and laptop cover that they gave out as doorgifts! WOOT! Thanks for the invite, Elfie! Next time please provide booze kthxbai!

The Day Books Take Over The World!

In two days time, there will be a reckoning.

On the stroke of midnight, on 23 April, books all over the world will rise up as one, and TAKE OVER THE WORLD. And major fantasy book series will take their thrones as Supreme Rulers of the world's superpowers.

In Australia, there was no challenger to Garth Nix's Abhorsen Trilogy. It's a book about NECROMANCERS, fer gawds sake. Who can beat THAT?

Meanwhile, The Journey To The West lays claim to China and Asia, beating out pretenders like The Romance Of the Three Kingdoms and The Red Chamber by virtue of having an awesome MONKEY KING in its story.

In Europe, a dispute broke out between His Dark Materials, The Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter for the throne. In the end however, there would be only one book to rule them all - The Lord of The Rings.

And America? Well, Twilight can have America. It's a silly place anyway.

So that's World Book Day for you. If only reality were as cool as that. Sigh...

So, for the rest of us mundane humans, we'll have to be content with celebrating World Book Day by either reading a book, or buying some books.

If you're doing the latter, you could do worse than heading over to Bookxcess, where they're having a promotion from 23-25 April, giving 20% discounts ON TOP of their already cheap prices on 100 selected titles. Click to enlarge the image below to find out more:



Meanwhile, Kinokuniya is also having some sort of World Book Day thingy, where they've partnered with UNICEF to provide a bin where people can donate their books for charity.

On top of that, they're celebrating their NINE YEAR anniversary. For every RM30 purchase, you'll get a stamp on a card, and when you complete nine stamps, you get a RM30 rebate on your next book. It's not THAT GREAT a deal, but hey, better than nothing huh?

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Frogger! Pong! Outrun! Contra! It's Video Games Live!

Last week I fulfilled one of my lifelong ambitions....
To hear the theme to FROGGER played by a live symphony orchestra.



Yup, it was Video Games Live show, and boy was it a blast. If you've not heard of it, it's a live concert where a full symphony orchestra plays themes and music from video games. It's not the usual kind of stuffy orchestral shows you get at the usual Philharmonic hall though - this was at the KL Convention Center Plenary hall and it was FUN!

The National Symphony Orchestra started off with a blast to the past, starting with Pong, then moving on to all the old Atari games and Space Invaders, Frogger, Outrun, and Contra (Holy shit, CONTRA!!!). Boy was that a fun medley - they also showed all the cutscenes and the gameplay on a screen, so it was a hoot watching all those games we used to play for hours on end.



I mean, really, who HASN'T spent HOURS and HOURS playing Contra, Street Fighter and all those old games? Regardless of whether you're still a gamer or not, you MUST have SOME memory of those games! I mean, C'mon... FROGGER! YEAH!



The only thing I was disappointed at was they played mostly console games, many of which I never played before because I never owned a console up till my Xbox a few months back. So while music from hugely games such as Metal Gear Solid, God Of War, Halo, Sonic, and even Shadow Of The Colossus were very well-received in the hall, I didn't feel for them as much as I did when they played the music from say... Super Mario Brothers (heck, later on we even got a SINGALONG of the Mario theme!)



I wish they'd played something from the Command and Conquer series, Street Fighter, or even (a long shot, this) the Wing Commander series, but that was wishful thinking. Oh well, the music that was played was still something awesome and the videos made me want to rush out and buy a damn PS3 NOW NOW NOW I WANNA PLAY GOD OF WAR OMG!!!!



I WAS happy they played something from Final Fantasy VII though - Sephiroth's theme song. And heck, it was hard NOT to geek out when you're watching all those clips of awesome video games AND listening to the music at the same time.

The show was pretty fun too, with Tommy Tallarico talking a lot on stage about video games, and the music. There was a cute chick flutist/opera singer, a JApanese dude who played the Snakeeater theme from Metal Gear Solid; a dude who got to play live-action Space Invaders on stage, and one dude who won the Guitar Hero competition trying to beat 200000 points on Guitar Hero Van Halen (it was only supposed to be on Hard, but the bugger went for EXPERT instead. And he was pretty damn good too!)

They even had Ralph Bear, the CREATOR of the world's FIRST EVER VIDEO GAME live on Skype at one point, and they showed a video clip of him demonstrating the Pong game he had created in the 60's. Wah so primitive WTF!



One gripe though - the afternoon show I went for was rather empty, and only about half the hall was filled. Was the night show any better? Not that it detracted from the show, but it would have been awesome to have more people. Plus it was such a cool and geeky show that MORE people should have come watch it!

Now, excuse me while I go home and play Street Fighter...

Monday, 19 April 2010

Boss! Ice Kacang Satu! Tambah Cinta Anak Anjing Lebih Sikit!



Ice Kacang Puppy Love. 初恋红豆冰
Not a review.
Fooyor nostalgia maximus
Guli! Fighting fish!
Ice Kacang!
Old school public phones!
90's Polis uniforms!
Kopitiam! Old bus stations!
Barbers! Rotiman!
BEST!



Wah damn a lot of Malaysian stars right?
Lee Sinje( looking hot even with that stupid haircut)
Aniu (Hahahaha damn dungu!)
Victor Wong Ping Guan! (Hahahaha damn nerdy)
Gary Chaw Ge (Wah not bad that fella, really got gangster style)
Fish Leong (Never say anything but she damn cute ok haha)
Yi Jet Qi (Not bad, but eh his legs like not disabled also wan?)
Eric Moo (A real ass in real life apparently, but not bad in the movie)
And ANGELA CHAN! (Wah never seen her since her TV series days!)



But hor, don't believe the poster.
Say got Nicholas Teo and Penny Tai,
Those two only have TWO SECONDS of screen time... COMBINED.
(At least Penny had two lines to say)
(Nicholas came on, smiled, and then no more)
Samore face big big on poster.
Damn bloody shameless lor.



It's a bit slow,
And sometimes damn mou liu.
But I liked it.
Damn nostalgia ok
Reminds me of when I was growing up in Temerloh
All the kopitiams, playing guli, and cycling around.



Also the puppy love part,
C'mon admit it, we've all been through that before.
We've all had ONE GIRL whom we used to like,
But was too shy to admit to her,
And always doing silly little things to impress her.
Hehe still kids mar,
Donno how to kau lui yet hahaha.



Not bad for a first film, Aniu.
But the REAL test will be in your next movie.
When you can't repeat the same trick,
And ask ALL YOUR famous friends to come and join the movie.
Then again, what's the point of having famous friends,
When you can't use them once in a while, huh?
Eh, if you make a sequel,
Can you call it Bak Kut Teh Forbidden Love?

Friday, 16 April 2010

Ooooh... Threee Deeee.....

THIS IS A SPECIAL COMMUNITY SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.*

To cheer up your soul,
To brighten up your day,
To put a BIG smile on your face,


GO WATCH THIS:




TOY STORY.
TOY STORY 2.

BACK TO BACK
in THREE DEE.


GO WATCH IT!
APRIL 22 onwards
For TWO WEEKS ONLY


If you have not watched the movies A SINGLE TIME,
(where have you been, MARS?)
If you have not watched them in the cinema,
Heck, even if you've watched them a GAJILLION times like I have...
JUST GO WATCH THEM AGAIN!


HAPPINESS
GUARANTEED!



(oh, and make sure you stick around after Toy Story 1 for the brilliant intermission!)


*This special community announcement is not a review.

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Presenting My First Nokia... The MONSTER 918!

Yesterday, Nokia Malaysia's tweeter @NokiaMy ran this question pass us: What was your first Nokia device?

While there were many who used to have the Nokia 3210, 8210, and 2110, those were still pretty damn new compared to what Suanie and I used to have.

Yes, we used to have a model that is so obscure that even Wikipedia's List of Nokia products states its release date as 'UNKNOWN'!

Behold, the MONSTER Nokia 918!



I got this phone back when I was in UPM, when ADAM (remember that?) was beta testing their pre-paid service (the first of its kind in Malaysia, if I recall) on UPM students. We were among the first in the country to have a pre-paid mobile phone line, and they gave us the 918 together with the plan. Ah, happy memories. It was at this point that pagers started going extinct, I think... LOL.

The 918 came in all sorts of colors. Besides my banana-coloured one, there were also Brinjals, Cucumbers, Carrots and even Chillies. And almost EVERY student in UPM who could afford one had one of these (I could barely afford it myself... I didn't top up the credit very often, but left the service active so my parents could call me.)

Want to know exactly how big it was? Here's a picture comparing it to the E71 (my current Nokia phone).



It was so big that we didn't have a SIM CHIP last time. We had to put the WHOLE CARD INTO THE PHONE!

I mean, seriously, check out how THICK it was!


(Spot the E71)

It's a wonder I could even fit this inside my pocket at the time (Or maybe I just had really big pockets. Wish they had more money in them at the time though... sigh)

It's heavy duty too. I once dropped this down a flight of stairs and it fell one floor down. The battery came off, of course, but when I put it back together, it worked perfectly! I don't know if it still works now though - I dare not try my sim card on it in case it FRIES the damn thing...

Awesome isn't it? Now BEAT THAT, all you 3210 and 3310s! :-D

Thursday, 8 April 2010

KICK-ASS KICKS ASS! IT REALLY FUCKING KICKS ASS!



Kick Ass.
Not a Review.
Finally, a movie that delivers on its title.
THIS MOVIE KICKS ASS.
IT FUCKING KICKS ASS!
IT'S ASS KICKINGLY KICK ASS!
It's so KICK ASS that if you don't go see it I will KICK YOUR ASS!



Oh first things first...
DO NOT bring your children to watch this movie.
REALLY, DON'T BRING YOUR KIDS.
Not unless you want them to learn how to cuss,
Or to train them on how to chop people's legs off.
Yeah it's about superheroes,
Yeah it's got nice brightly colored costumes,
Yeah it's got a little girl,
But it's also bloody violent, bloody foul-mouthed,
And that little girl?
She's the most violent and fouled mouth of them all.



OMG HIT GIRL.
She's like the most AWESOME character EVAR.
She's bloody brilliant.
Like a pocket-size, potty-mouthed ninja assassin,
She can say the C-word, kick your ass AND slice it in half in a second.
She'd kick Angelina Jolie's Wanted ass ANY DAY.
She could probably take on The Bride as well.



And is that REALLY Nic Cage?
Wow, he's actually pretty awesome here.
None of that Bangkok Dangerous Ghost Rider dumbass shit.
He's actually pretty good here.
And boy does Big Daddy KICK ASS.
He'd probably kick BATMAN's ass to Arkham and back,
But the Joker would probably scare him shitless though...



Surprisingly, there were only four cuts.
Most of the cussing and the violence are intact.
BTW, It's based on a Mark Millar comic,
Yup, the same guy who wrote Wanted,
(the awesomely violent comic, not the pussy-assed movie)
About some kid who wants to be a superhero,
But gets his ass kicked more than he kicks ass.
That's all you need to know.
For more, GO WATCH THE FUCKING MOVIE!



Holy cow I haven't cheered so much in a cinema since....
Well, since that time I watched Transformers,
In a cinema full of Transformers fans.
This is definitely a movie you HAVE to see to believe it.
It's the most KICK ASS superhero movie ever!
It's not a GREAT as The Dark Knight,
But it sure as hell KICKS ASS.
Now... Show's over, motherfuckers.
Go watch the movie, or I'll KICK YOUR ASS!