Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Just Pretend Revenge Of The Fallen Never Happened



Transformers: Dark of The Moon
Not A Review.
HOLY SHIT.
That was my reaction after the movie.
HOLY AWESOME SHIT.
HOLY FUCKING AWESOME SHIT.
Now THAT is what I call a Transformers movie!



Forget the second movie.
No really, pretend it never existed,
Pretend that we never had to endure those stupid twins,
That horrible script and those dumb robot balls.
Because THIS is the sequel we TRULY DESERVE.
THIS should have been the sequel to Transformers.
Not that bloody Revenge of The Fallen crap.



SHOCKWAVE! More devastating than Devastator!
SOUNDWAVE! No longer a useless satellite!
LASERBEAK! No longer an obsolete cassette!
MEGATRON! Robot-kutu-infested!
STARSCREAM! Still chicken shit as ever!



OPTIMUS PRIME! Now with awesome TRAILER!
SENTINEL PRIME! Spock-tastic! Galvatronising!
THE WRECKERS! WRECKING!
SIDESWIPE! IRONHIDE! Now with more things to do!
DINO! NOT A DINOBOT!
Bumblebee! Er.. still there!
Jolt! Pointless!



Seriously, even the plot kinda ignores ROTF.
So many plot holes.
But it all makes sense IF you pretend ROTF never happened.
Which for me was pretty easy.
Not for Jasonmumbles, who watched it like 11 times.
LOL.



No more Megan Fox (sob sob)
But there's Rosie.
Well, she ain't Megan,
But oh yeah, she's hot.
First thing you see is her awesome er... behind.
BEST. USE. OF. 3D. EVER.
Cleavage rating 8.
Acting rating: 2.5.



Didya notice how all the pictures here have no guys?
It's all just robots and babes.
Because that's all that matters, really. Heh heh.
Shia? Josh? Tyrese? Same old same old.
The parents are still damn annoying and pointless.
John Turtorro is less annoying & surprisingly competent.
And thank god that annoying douchebag from ROTF is gone.



BTW, the 3D's pretty good too.
Still a bit too long though.
Should have kicked out the parents.
John Malkovich and Ken Jeong were pointless and annoying too.
But holy slag, Laserbeak is great.
Kicks Ravage's ass anytime.
But there is LOADS of action in the end,
And LOTS of robot-on-robot fights.
Now THAT'S what a Transformers movie is all about!



I actually watched this LAST WEEK.
You have no idea how torturing it is to keep my mouth shut.
I mean, what's the point of watching it so early,
ONE WEEK BEFORE THE ENTIRE WORLD,
And not being able to gloat about it?
Especially since this was AWESOME?
GAAAAAH!



(BTW, is this the first review of the movie in Malaysia?)
(I know it's the first NOT A review in the WORLD. Hehe.)

5 comments:

vincent said...

was this what you meant when i saw you in kino last week and you said you were sworn to secrecy?

KY said...

your reviews are all good except when it comes to anything related to robots (wall-e included). will go and see this one anyway. hehehe

Elizabeth TAi said...

Haha looks like a good one. I was crossing my fingers for this one. Glad it panned out! Watching with my pal next week like normal folks ;)

thatjames said...

Those are good shots of the new girl. Shots of her in the trailer just wasn't doing anything for me... but these... :D

Simon Seow said...

okay, I'll go watch in 3D even though some review says not worth it to watch in 3D