Friday, 28 October 2011
The Adventures of Tintin.
Not A Review.
TEN THOUSAND THUNDERING TYPHOONS!
BILLIONS OF BILIOUS BLUE BLISTERING BARNACLES!
Directed by Steven Speilberg!
Produced by Peter Jackson!
Waddaya mean you've never heard of Tintin?
It's TINTIN, for fucks sake!
The greatest boy reporter (who doesn't report) ever!
The one with the funny pointy hair,
and the Snowy doggy who goes WOAH WOAH instead of WOOF WOOF!
And is friends with that drunk captain Haddock!
Who always swears BLISTERING BARNACLES!
The story is a combo of three books:
The Secret Of The Unicorn,
The Crab With Golden Claws,
But the movie stays very true to the comics' spirit.
It's like an actual Tintin comic come to life,
But with added Hollywod BOOM BOOOM ACTION!
Tintin is suitably ambiguous and goody goody,
Haddock is AWESOME (Give Andy Serkis an Oscar!)
Snowy is cute and fun! WOAH WOAH!
And Red Rackham's Treasure.
It's got Thompson and Thompson!
And Lady Castafiore!
After the movie, I wanted to read the books again,
Lots of Easter Eggs in the movie,
I only spotted King Ottovar's Sceptre,
But I recognise a few more things.
The Tintin comics were awesome!
And they're planning to make another one,
Based on Seven Crystal Balls and Prisoners Of The Sun,
My favorite books! WHEEE!
HOORAY FOR TINTIN!