Tuesday, 27 September 2011

PHWOAR GOT HOT CHICK SNAKE LESBIAN ACTION!



The Sorcerer And The White Snake.
白蛇傳說之法海
Not a review
Previously titled It's Love and Madame White Snake
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
It's got Jet Li,
And some hot chicks,
And dodgy CGI.
Ok, A LOT of dodgy CGI.



Jet Li! As a monk!
As a laser shooting monk actually.
Well, sort-of.
He hardly does any fighting.
Just shoot lasers from his palms.
WHY JET LI WHYYYYY??
(BTW, why ALL the demons he fights are all hot babes wan ar?)



WAH GOT LESBIAN HOT CHICK SNAKE ACTION!
HALF-NAKED WOMEN! WITH SNAKE BODIES!
(Eh wait, aren't snakes reptiles? Why do they have boobs?)
FROLICKING AROUND IN THE GRASS!
FOOYOH!
OH wait, what? That's not actually a lesbian sex scene?
And what, They're SISTER SNAKES?
EEEEEEEWW......



Oklah, the two chicks quite hot.
That Eva Huang chick is hot,
Have I mentioned I've actually met her in person?
Yeah, she's even hotter in person.
Charlene too, actually.
Too bad there wasn't some REAL LESBIAN HOT CHICK SNAKE ACTION.
Ok wait, that would be weird.
EWWWW.



Oh look, got talking animals!
Got rabbit, turtle, rat..
WAh got thousands of talking rats saving the day samore!
What is this, NARNIA?
Oh look, got Lord Of The Rings Gandalf vs Balrog rip-off also!
And got 2012 giant tidal waves also!
And ooh, look, VAMPIRES!
And got that Ghostbusters ghost trap also!
Wah, the director really know how to 'borrow' from Hollywood hor?



WHAT'S WITH ALL THE CRAPPY CGI!
Oh, 3D, so must have A LOT A LOT of CGI is it?
Until EVERYTHING is CGI is it?
And why does it all look like video game wan?
And don't get me started on the 'monster' makeup.
Ok fine, check it out below:



Actually hor,
Calling this a B-grade movie is an insult to B-grade movies
Because at least B-grade movies KNOW they're B-grade movies.
I pity the sucker who invested all that money into this movie.
And those who paid money to go watch it.
So if you haven't gone to see it yet, DON'T
Go spend your hard-earned money on some nasi lemak instead.

Thursday, 22 September 2011

It's The End Of REM as We Know It (And I Don't Feel Fine)



So, REM. has broken up after 31 years. While it's always sad when a band breaks up,especially one as influential and great as REM, the band's output HAS been kinda stale lately, with only a few flashes of brilliance in their last two or three albums, but not enough to really make an impact.

Like it or not, Michael Stipe and co. will always be best known for being the early pioneers of alternative rock and their earlier music, which included some of the greatest songs ever in Rock and Roll.

Anyway, in tribute to the band, here's a list of my top five favorite REM songs. EVER:

1) Losing My Religion
Because life is bigger than you, and you are not me. This was just a song that I fell in love with the SECOND I heard that first sentence, and the way the lyrics just rolled off your tongue meant it was great to singalong to. Unfortunately, the radio stations back then BANNED the song (for obvious reasons), but I think BFM has been playing it lately. You wouldn't believe the lengths that I will go to to play this song (I considered playing it at my wedding hehehe). Oh no, I've said too much. Ok, I've said enough.

2) Everybody Hurts
For me, this is the ultimate break-up-recovery song. Everybody hurts, sometimes. It acknowledges your sadness, but tells you to stay hopeful and hang on. Everybody hurts, you are not alone. take comfort in your friends. And hold on. No matter how sad you feel, that rising 'Hold on, hold on' crescendo at the end of the song is guaranteed to lift you up and will give you the will to hold on no matter what. Fuck all those so called 'emo bands' today and their fake sadness. THIS was and still is the saddest yet most uplifting song ever written.

3) It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
That's great, this starts with an earthquake and then proceeds on to shudder and vibrate through some of the most awesome motormouth verses to sing ever. I used to be obsessed with motormouthed songs like this (others include Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire, Barenaked Ladies' One Week, and Savage Garden's I Want You), and would spend days memorising the lyrics and singing along to the songs. I can still remember every single lyrics in these songs. Heh heh.

4) At My Most Beautiful
This is just a beautifully written love song. That's all.

5) What's The Frequency Kenneth?
This was the first song I'd heard after the greatness of Losing My Religion, and it instantly struck me how different it was from that other song (this was pre-Internet/torrents, so I could only rely on the radio to listen to their songs). I remember thinking, "who the fuck is Kenneth and what the hell is Benzedrine?". Again, this was pre-Google, so I couldn't just google the answers. But the lyrics stuck with me for years until I finally found out what they meant. Heh.

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Beer Of The Week: Zippy Zesty Żywiec!



I've mentioned this Polish beer before last year, but since I recently got another can back from Germany, I thought I'd do another post, with a proper tasting. And just because I like it so much. heh heh.

Anyway, Żywiec is a Polish beer that I used to drink a lot of years ago back in Poland, and everytime I go to Europe these days, I keep a lookout for this or the other favorite Polish beer of mine, Tyskie. These are two of the very few lagers I can actually drink all night and not get sick of.

Żywiec is a lager/pilsner. It's easy to drink, refreshing, and has a wonderfully zesty, zippy zing to it that I find very pleasant. It's not hoppy like most lagers, it's slightly citrus-y, and it's even got a slightly CREAMY texture to it, which I love. And oh,

This is definitely one of the best pilsners I've ever had, and I've had quite a few too. I've loved it since I first tried it in Poland some 9 years ago, and even though it's been 5-6 years since I had it, the first taste of it brought back some really good memories with this beer.

Sigh, too bad it's so hard to get around here... SIGGGHHHHH...

Monday, 19 September 2011

The Big Bad Wolf Sale is Back! Be there or be less broke!



YAY! The Big Bad Wolf Book Sale is back! The biggest, baddest, cheapest book warehouse sale is back!

Remember all the other times I went to the sale? It used to be at Amcorp Mall (where Bookxcess is now), and the first time it came around, it DEVOURED my money because of the choices and the prices.

Now it's back, and promises to be the BIGGEST and with over a MILLION books for sale. It's claiming to be the biggest in the WORLD, and I'm pretty sure these guys wouldn't exaggerated. Heh heh.

Anyway, the next Big BAd Wolf sale is on from 7th - 16th October, and will be held at Hall A, MAEPS, Malaysian Agro Exposition Park, Serdang. Click on the poster above for more info and the map to the venue!

Be there or be... er... stay un-broke, but with fewer books!! :-D

Thursday, 15 September 2011

Beer Of The Week: My Goodness My Guinness!



No, this is not an advertorial about Arthur's Day. If you want to know more about that, you can go check out the hundreds of other more popular blogs promoting the event, including some by guys who don't even drink it in the first place (yes KY I'm talking about you LOL).

I'm here to talk about Guinness, the BEER. Because you know, everyone's so wrapped up with the bloody concert that no one seems to care about the beer that the concert is based on in the first place.

Frankly, there really isn't enough free Guinness in the entire world to make me want to go watch Taio Cruz.

Not that I have anything against it, mind you. I LOVE Guinness, Draught or FES. I just haven't been drinking a lot of it lately, partly due to an overdose of it some time ago, and because I prefer ales these days, so I drink more Newcastle and Kilkenny.

Anyway, Guinness is a stout. But did you know that the one you drink on tap at pubs is technically NOT a stout? the bottled one, otherwise known as Foreign Extra Stout (FES) is the REAL stout.What's the draught one then? I don't know. a kid stout? Heh heh. Not that I mind though, I prefer the Draught over the FES, even though I like em both.



FES is more full-bodied and has a much, much heavier malt flavor to it. It's also got a higher Alcohol content.

On the other hand, the Guinness Draught is pretty much an easier to drink version of the stout. It's lighter, slightly heavier than Kilkenny, full-bodied (but not TOO full that it makes you bloated after one), and is easier on the malts. It's slightly creamier as well, and is a very, very satisfying drink especially after a long day at work.

BTW, Guinness Draught has a special two-part pour that makes it better to drink. I'm not gonna go through it here, so go Google it yourself. Oh, and the Guinness in Malaysia brewed by GAB is apparently the best one brewed outside of Ireland. Now that's some achievement.

And the best place to have Guinness Draught? Sid's Pub of course. Where else? Now, I'd take a pint or two of Guinness at Sid's over a whole night of freeflow with bloody Taio Cruz ANYTIME....

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

A Sale Of Books And Comics

Just got back from the media preview of the MPH Distributors' Warehouse Sale. Pretty decent selection of books there.

They've got the entire A Song of Ice And Fire series for RM80 or something like that:



Got a lot of other books there as well, but frankly, I've been too spoiled by Bookxcess and the Big Bad Wolf sale to bother with the books these days.



For me, the main attraction was the comics section. the sale has a pretty good selection (almost four bookcases full!) of graphic novels and trade paperbacks, mostly DC Comics and Vertigo stuff, with a few Dark Horse lying around. Absolutely nothing from Marvel though. All going for RM13-RM50, which is a STEAL.

I saw lots of Superman and Batman titles, some great stuff like Preacher, Constantine, Hellboy, BPRD, Y: The Last Man, Fables, DMZ, Ex-Machina, Swamp Thing, some Neil Gaiman stuff, and A LOT of the usual superhero stuff.



Yup, there were some Absolute editions as well. I saw quite a few Absolute Sandman Vol II, and Absolute Batman: Long Halloween going for RM76 each. Now THAT'S a great buy. No more Absolute Watchmen and Absolute Kingdom Come though. The hoard of hoarding journalists sapu all oledi heh heh.

Anyway, the sale is open for the public tomorrow until Sunday. Here're the details and a very handy map to the sale as well!



Date: 15-18 September 2011
Time : 8am to 7pm
Tel: 603 7958 1688)
Facebook: Facebook.com/MPHDistributorsWarehouseSale

Address:
Ground Floor
Bangunan TH
5 Jalan Bersatu
Section 13/4
Petaling Jaya

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Curry neh! Go watch Nasi Lemak!



Nasi Lemak 2.0
辣死你媽
!!
Not a review.
Wah, last year only I interviewed Namewee,
He was trying to get funds for the 1Malaysia movie.
Now here it is!
Wheee!



Go watch it!
It's funny!
Got Proton jokes!
Got politic jokes!
Got Alleycats!
Got Adibah and Afdlin!
Got Patrick Teoh!
After watch already you'll want to eat Nasi Lemak!



Hmmm, so odd seeing Karen Kong onscreen,
Way back in 2007 I was the first person to interview her.
She was an unknown then, just starting out.
She was so shy and awkward,
And didn't even know how to answer my questions properly.
Now, she's a star! Quite hot also!
Not just in music, but also in a movie also!
Wah I so proud la.
hehehe.



Anyway, Nasi Lemak very the funny.
It's a bit disjointed though.
Some slapstick parts no need also can.
But the jokes are actually pretty smart wan.
Especally if you're familiar with MAlaysia,
The races, the stereotypes, the politics, the culture,
The food, the language.. EVERYTHING lah.
(Except religion. nothing sensitive here)
Oh, also if you're familiar with Namewee's 'career',



It's a Malaysian movie.
got Malay English, Chinese, Tamil, Hokkien Cantonese...
Not a Malaysian-Chinese/Malay/Indian movie.
It's MALAYSIAN movie ok?
Don't want to watch it?
Diam lah!
Curry neh!

Monday, 12 September 2011

Chick Flick! Fuck Yeah!



Bridesmaids.
Not a review.
Wah, a chick flick!
I actually went to watch a chick flick!
It's been years since I watch a chick flick!
Oh wait, I just watched one last year.
Oh never mind.



This chick flick quite funny though.
At least it's not like other chick flicks.
You know, the sort always starring Katherine Heigl,
Who plays an airhead chick who can't/won't get a guy,
But falls for one in the end.
Yadda yadda bla bla zzzzzzzz



Oooh Rose Byrne.
She's hot, but I don't like her character so not THAT hot.
Got so many British actors too!
Got that baldie from Little Britain
And that policeman guy is quite cool.



This one is funnier, raunchier,
And best of all, no Katherine Heigl!
(She's hot and all, but damn she can be annoying).
Heck, I don't even remember most of the actresses' names.
Except Kristen Wigg, who is really funny.
That butch Megan also damn funny hahahahaha.



Bridesmaids is like most Apatow comedies,
Got shit, fart, fuck, cuss, puke jokes,
But not stupid dumb like how Jack Black always does it.
And it's not like other chick flicks.
At least you don't spend half the time rolling your eyes.
And it's less a waste of time than most of the others.
Go watch it with a chick!

Sunday, 11 September 2011

10 years After 9/11


This was the front page of The Star ten years ago, the day after 9/11.

The night before, my sister and I had just spent the most unbelievably surreal night in front of the TV ever, watching the events unfold live as they happened in New York. I remember thinking, "What the fuck is happening? Why is this happening? Is this REALLY happening?"

It's been ten years since the World Trade Centers crashed down, and the world has been a really different place altogether. War, terrorism, and crazy airport security. It doesn't matter what your opinions of 9/11 and what happened after that. Let's just remember what happened on that day, during those few hours, when the world stood still and watched as the U.S. came under attack.

Thursday, 8 September 2011

THOSE are your worse songs of the 90's? HAH!

So yeah, Rolling Stone had a list of the worse songs of the 90's. I don't agree with half of them. Why? Because most of them were not so much lousy songs, but songs that were overplayed to death. Ok, I think Achy Breaky Heart and Who Let The Dogs Out deserve their place, as well as BArbie Girl. But What's Up? Really? What's up with that? I thought that's a pretty good song. And what's wrong with Tubthumping? Damn uptight Americans.

Anyway, here are MY personal worse songs of the 90's:

1) Mambo #5 (Lou Bega) - Once, the office decided that it would be a good idea to pipe in MixFM on the PA. It was tolerable at first. Then... THIS song came on. I think half the office wanted to commit mass suicide by jumping off the building at that point.

2) Barbie Girl (Aqua) - Ok, this is one choice I actually agree with. It's the most annoying song ever, with the most stupid lyrics and sung in the most annoying high pitch voice EVER. AQUA MUST DIE.

3) The First Time (Surface) - The first time I heard this song, I wanted to punch the face of the singer. Then the video came out and I wanted to chop him into little pieces THEN punch him in the face.

4) With Arms Wide Open (Creed) - Good bands don't let their frontmen yarl.

5) Blue (Eiffel 65) - I'm blue, badadibadibagaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

6) Rico Suave (Gerardo) - Ale alele! Riiicooo... SUAVSHHHADAAAAP.

7) Amazed (Lonestar) - Before Lady Antebellum, there was Lonestar, pioneer of boring, unimaginative, wholesome 'country' sickness.

8) Honey (Mariah Carey) - I actually liked Mariah at one point, when her hair was still curly and before she started looking like a sex-crazed slut. This album was for me, the one where she started completely annoying me, and on this song in particular... DOES SHE EVEN SING? What does she do beyond all that YODELLING???

9) You Are Not Alone (Michael Jackson) - Sorry, Jacko fans. Everytime I see or hear this come on on the TV or radio, I just turned it off so I could be alone.

10) I Believe I Can Fly (R. Kelly) - The only version of this song I could stand was the one FlyGuy came up with during his Breakfast Show (back when HitzFM was still tolerable), which went: I believe I can flyyy... I believe I can grow an eyeee...

---------------------------------------------------------

SPECIAL MENTION:

Almost EVERY fucking song by Michael Learns to Rock Deserves a place on this list. In fact I could have populated the ENTIRE LIST with songs from that fucking band, but I didn't think about it until KY pointed it out on Twitter AFTER I'd posted this list. So, what's the WORSE EVER Michael Learns to Rock song? The idiotically retarded lyrics of The Actor is a close second, the grammatically incorrect That's Why You Go Away is also close, but the WORSE MLTR SONG EVER IMHO is...

PAINT MY LOVE.

Everytime I hear that fucking song, I imagine paint on the walls curling up in protest, or just turning into flakes and flying away just to get away from the song. It's got a fucking boring verse, and the bloody chorus just makes my ears bleed. WHY THE HELL IS THIS SONG AND BAND SO POPULAR IN MALAYSIA? It's a fucking insult to my name, it is...