Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Contraband: Not About Rubber Bands


Contraband.
Not a review.
No, not Contra-Band
It's not based on the video game Contra (remember that?)
And it's not a new type of rubber band
It's about smuggling contraband.
Drugs, money, cars whatever lah.


Mark Wahlberg.
I still think he's the worse leading man EVER.
He has like, ZERO charisma.
And ZERO personality.
You could replace him with ANY ACTOR.
He has the SAME expression in every movie,
And is probably the most forgettable leading man EVER.


The movie itself was so-so,
Kinda like one of those crime procedurals on TV.
Told from the bad guys' POV.
It's kinda like Leverage,
Minus the witty one liners, the elaborate scheming,
The cool gadgets and hardware, the hot babes,
Oh what the heck, it's NOTHING like Leverage.


Oooh Kate Beckinsale.
Only realised it was her halfway through the movie.
At first I thought it was Ali Larter wtf.
She was so so here.
No Cleavage Rating (tm) cos she didn't show any.
Can't wait to see her in black leather again hur hur.


The plot was so so.
Action was ok.
A bit all over the place though.
And you see the twist coming a MILE away.
Still, at least it wasn't a TOTAL waste of time.
Just wish it didn't feel so much like a TV crime procedural...


1 comment:

jeevs said...

Does Kate Beckinsale (like Mia Jovovich) only live off proceeds from one movie franchise?