Tuesday, 10 April 2012

E-10! HIT! B-8! MISS! BATTLESHIP! HIT!


Battleship
Not a Review.
Used to play this with exercise books in school.
Damn fun, but bloody waste of paper.
And it's damn frustrating,
Especially when you use those exercise books with TINY boxes,
Once played using a piece that had 100 boxes across and down.
Took forever to finish the stupid game.


WAH not bad for a movie based on a bloody board game.
LOUD, DUMB and EXPLOSIVE.
Like Transformers without the Transformers.
Loads of good, entertaining action,
And very little logic. LOL
But at least they put most of the emphasis on the SHIPS.
It IS Battleship after all.
Not Battle ON a ship.


FOOYOR Malaysian Navy was also part of the fleet!
But only mentioned once.
And never seen again.
Probably couldn't even get the ship out of the dock LOL.
Or maybe it was one of our submarines.
Broke down on the way to the battle.


WAH they even put the BOARDGAME in the movie!
Ok, not the actual board
(that would have been really a boring movie)
But they used the same concept as the boardgame!
(in one scene only lah, not the whole movie).


Mmmm, Brooklyn Decker. HOT.
Cleavage Rating 9!
Didn't really do much though.
But at least she was MUCH better than Rosie HW.
Gee Taylor Kitsch looks so ordinary without his long hair.
Looks a lot like Channing Tatum, in fact.
WTF.


Rihanna? Didn't show ANY skin, surprisingly.
You'd think they'd find SOME excuse for her to take her top off.
Stick her in some wheat field somewhere or something.
But NOOOOO.
At least she was cool though.
Quite badass too actually.


For some super advanced alien race,
The ones here seem pretty stupid.
Like, what's the use of a ship that can fly through space,
Then crashes and just floats and hops around at sea?
And what's with the super-awesome force field,
Which can cover an ENTIRE ISLAND,
But can't even protect your OWN SHIP?
Oh and HELLO, YOUR SUITS. HALO MUCH?


But forget all the stupid illogical stuff.
This was pretty entertaining.
Leave your brain behind and get blown stuff.
Pure popcorn action blockbuster stuff.
Worth watching in cinema because of the awesome battles.
And I've always preferred battles on the sea.
It just seems a lot cooler, and more intelligent somehow.

(We're gonna need a bigger gun, sir)

So, Transformers & GI Joe, DONE
Battleship: DONE.
What toy or boardgame next? Jenga? Monopoly? Scrabble?
Hmm, a movie version of Scrabble.
Battle of the alphabets! Any word you form comes true.
Oooh, and what about Tic-Tac-Toe: The Movie?
That'll be AWESOME!
XOXO!

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